Parallel

  By Amanda Russell

Author's Foreword

            The idea of "another" existence has been a popular theme in fiction for many years. Parallel time or alternate universes or multiple timelines have been themes for story lines and plots for everything from soap operas to our favorite science fiction shows. We were given an excellent look at another universe in the SPACE: 1999 episode "Another Time, Another Place." The theme has caught on and fascinated writers by all the possibilities it holds. Anything imaginable could happen in another universe.

            SPACE: 1999 fan fiction is no exception, and is populated by several "alternate universe" stories: "ALPHA TWO" by Rebecca Eisenhuth, "TRILOGY TWO" by Rose Marie Badgett and Paul Bens, and even "THE OTHER TIME, THE OTHER PLACE" by a lunatic named Amanda Russell. "PARALLEL", therefore, is simply another "alternate universe" story that I 'had' to write; an evolution in my own understanding and grasp of the characters of John and Helena. I hope you will find it as intriguing and complex to read as I found it to be while writing it. The possibilities are endless.

From Some Alternate Reality,

Amanda

               With screams of pain and fright filling her ears, Helena Russell stared ahead into the darkness, hands gripping the arms of her seat. There was nothing they could do now but ride it out. Hypothetical had suddenly become real.

               She had been over-seeing a mock rescue mission for some trainees in the paramedic program so recently begun. Helena felt, with the unknowns of space challenging them everyday, it would be to everyone's advantage if they had more medical training than the basic first-aid instruction everyone received prior to a tour of duty on Alpha. But mechanical problems had cut the session short. Primary and secondary electrical systems had gone out while over Area One, and there was nothing the pilot could do but put the ship down as easily as possible and await rescue themselves.

               First contact with the lunar surface came unexpectedly and roughly. The craft bounced, and as it hit again, Helena felt her safety restraint straps give. She felt rather than saw herself fly from the seat and crash into something - she didn't know what, perhaps never would. A darker blackness engulfed her as she slipped to the floor, momentary pain spreading from her arm and shoulder to run to the rest of her body.

 

               John Koenig stood beside Helena's medical bed, deep worry lining his face. He met Bob Mathias' eyes as he stood from checking her vital signs. He sighed, glanced at Professor Bergman who stood beside their commander, then set his gaze on the man in the black-sleeved tunic.

               "She's in guarded condition, Commander. There is internal damage - how severe we can't tell yet. She has a mild concussion, and a badly sprained arm and shoulder. Considering what she's been through,... she was very lucky."

               "... Will she be all right, Bob?"

               John's voice was barely audible, more from relief than anything else, and Victor stepped closer, placing a hand on his friend's arm to lend comfort and support.

               "Yes, but it will take time. She may require surgery. I just can't say for certain yet. A great deal depends on how well she responds to treatment over the next few hours. We should know something definite by morning."

               John nodded, bending over Helena to barely touch the bruise on her cheek and ease her hair away from her eyes.

               "Perhaps you should try to get some rest, Commander."

               John felt Victor give his arm a squeeze, as if to say it was a wise suggestion. After placing a gentle kiss on Helena's forehead, he stood.

               "I'll... be in our quarters."

               Turning, John was halfway out of the medical facility before Bob and Victor could exchange brief glances. Victor followed his friend, knowing John would need to talk.

               Somehow, through her pain, Helena sensed John's care and concern reaching out to her. She was puzzled. Why would he...? Unable to fight the pain, she relented to it. She was tired of fighting, tired of indifference,... tired of pain. John... would find someone else.

               Puzzled, Bob Mathias stepped from his office and stopped at the foot of Helena's bed as he studied the most recent lab reports on her. He glanced up at the sound of footsteps behind him, unable to hide his confusion quickly enough from John Koenig. How could he explain?

               "Bob, how is she?"

               "Resting comfortably, Commander. She's got a long recovery ahead of her, but I'm much less worried about her now than when they first hauled her out of that Eagle. She has responded well to treatment and surgery won't be needed."

               "Then why the frown?"

               Bob looked down at the report he still held in his hand, glanced at John, and sighed heavily. How could he tell the commander his findings without sounding insane?

               "Would you come into my office for a moment, sir?"

               John followed Bob back to his office, took the offered chair that stood before the doctor's cluttered desk, and watched curiously while the medical man closed the office door. Mathias slowly eased himself into his chair, noticing for the first time Victor Bergman was also present. Perhaps Victor was the one who would be able to make some sense of it.

               "Doctor...?"          

               "Commander, Professor, what I'm about to say may sound -- insane -- but I see no other... Let me start at the beginning. When I was first checking Helena's x-ray's and thermographic plates to determine if surgery would be required, I was so intent on discovering and locating the extent of her new injuries that I paid little attention to things I am familiar with; scars from old injuries, illnesses and past surgeries. After I determined there was no immediate danger and we would not have to perform surgery - the internal injuries are minor, bruising mostly - I was able to review and compare more thoroughly. That was when I noticed some -- oddities -- in Helena's x-rays."

               "What are you getting at, Bob?"

               "Just this, Commander. Those x-rays were... confusing, contradictory. They revealed - in some instances - no trace of previous injuries or, just as puzzling, indicated old injuries where I know there were none before."

               "Could they have been someone else's x-rays? The lab got them mixed up?"

               "That was the first thing I checked, Professor, but they were Helena's plates. And they accurately reflected the injuries Helena sustained in the crash. I ordered a complete new set to be taken, but they are identical to the first. Commander, Professor, you may well want to have me confined for psychological observation, but based on those sets of x-rays and thermo plates, in combination with Helena's past medical history, I can only assume something -- more -- happened to Helena during that Eagle crash. I do not believe the woman I have been treating is the Helena Russell we all know."

               Across the medical unit, Helena stirred slightly, aware again of John's care and concern for her. It really made no sense. In the past few years he'd not truly cared, ever since... Yet it felt good again - to feel his concern.

               John's eyes grew wide as his mouth dropped open slightly. He clamped down on his anger.

               "What are you talking about? Of course that's Helena out there!"

               "Commander, please. If you'll just hear me out, the medical facts will support my theory."

               "John, it can't hurt to listen. If he is right, if something more did happen, we need to find out what it was."

               "Victor..."

               "John, we both understand what you must be feeling right now, but, if through some bizarre chain of events that is not Helena Russell, we owe it to that woman to find out what did happen, and learn where our Helena Russell is."

               Victor could see John relax a bit, and turned his gaze on the doctor. Bob took a deep breath then turned his eyes to meet the commander's stern gaze. This would not be easy.

               "With only the x-rays, thermo plates, and medical records to use as evidence until Helena is strong enough for a complete medical work-up, I have found enough... differences to make me certain of what I am saying, Commander. Most startling are that I found no traces of scarred lung tissue resulting from Helena's bout with viral pneumonia a couple of years ago, and indications of scars from several uncompleted pregnancies, the most recent being less than a month old. Early blood tests confirm that she is recovering from an aborted pregnancy. Now, Commander, you know as well as I that Helena - our Helena - has never been pregnant in her life."

               "No, she hasn't, unless... No, she would have told me..."

               "The pregnancies, Bob. Were they incomplete... by choice?"

               "I think not, Professor. I'll be able to tell better after an exam, but at this point I'm nearly positive when I say they were not artificially or deliberately terminated. This woman has had several miscarriages, the most recent being only a few weeks ago."

               John sighed heavily as he met Bob's gaze. He had to admit Mathias seemed to be right, but there was one other 'test' he wanted to make before he could completely believe the doctor.

               "You have some... solid evidence, Bob. Sorry I... Could I see Helena? Perhaps if I could see her reaction to me, to her surroundings..."

               Bob met Victor's glance, then nodded. Everyone there knew about what John and Helena shared. It was a reasonable request, one he would have made himself if someone were trying to prove the woman he'd chosen to spend his life with was not really that person at all.

               "Of course, Commander."

               The men stood and left Doctor Mathias' office.

               John stood quietly over Helena's bed, his gaze fixed on her sleeping features. The 'test' would have to wait, she was still too deeply under the influence of the sedative she'd been given to really be aware of her surroundings. Externally she looked like the Helena he knew. He'd already been given the internal evidence to the contrary. But mentally, psychologically - it was still to be proven one way or the other.

               Bending over, John placed a tender, loving kiss on the woman's cheek. If she were his Helena, his care, concern and love would reach her even through the barriers erected by the drugs. If she were not he could only hope that, wherever this duplicate Helena had come from, in her world - her universe, on her Alpha - she had someone who loved her as much as he loved Helena Russell.

               Something was wrong. Helena could sense it before she even opened her eyes. Not with herself - she felt remarkably good considering the Eagle ride she'd just been through. Her shoulder and arm were stiff and sore, her head ached a bit and her side twinged as she tried to shift position, but otherwise she seemed unhurt. No, the problem was with her surroundings. She couldn't pinpoint it, but something felt -- wrong. Out of place.

               Slowly Helena opened her eyes and glanced around. She was in her Medical Centre and everything looked right. Bob Mathias was bent over her and he smiled when he saw she was awake.

               "Helena... how do you feel?"

               "A little... disoriented, and stiff."

               "You're lucky that's all you feel. It was quite a crash. You sustained relatively minor injuries: a sprained arm and shoulder, a slight concussion, and some bruised ribs, but... I can arrange to keep the commander away from you for awhile longer if you like. Considering what happened a couple of weeks ago, it might not be a bad idea. Your system hasn't recovered fully yet. Koenig may be a damned good commander, he's gotten us out of some very tight spots, but that doesn't excuse his attitude and treatment of you. He's a bastard on that score. Can't see that if he treated you better, more kindly, you wouldn't have such a hard time of it."

               Helena stared at Mathias. He was talking about falsifying records! He would never do that! And his attitude about John... And what had happened a couple of weeks ago? Nothing she could remember except the rare event of she and John having the same day off - a day they had put to very good use. Why would she want John to stay away from her?!

               Before Helena could respond, a totally unexpected, totally impossible sound caught her attention - the cries of a newborn child. Her eyes grew wide with surprise and Mathias patted her uninjured arm in what she thought was a gesture of consolation and comfort.

               "Gloria Nolan had another boy. George is delighted. Your turn will come, Helena..."

               She nodded slowly, almost unbelieving. She couldn't be on Alpha! There were no children allowed... And George Nolan had died during Breakaway! What could be going on? She had to be on Alpha, but... it was wrong, all wrong. She glanced at Mathias as he smiled gently.

               "Try to get some rest, Helena. We'll talk later, discuss procedure, then I'll send you back to your quarters."

               "... All right, Bob."

               She settled back and closed her eyes. Helena felt the hiss of a hypo-sprayer against her arm and relaxed. When she woke up she would find it had all been nothing more than a bizarre dream. It had to be that.

               Bob Mathias nodded as he glanced over the latest reports on 'Helena's' condition. She was steadily improving and he knew she would be ready to see the commander within the next eight hours. Bob had to admit he was anxious to have her strong enough to answer a few questions. He expected the answers would take them all by surprise.

               John stood beside Helena's bed six hours later, the tension and worry increasing a bit. Bob said she was steadily improving, and until it was confirmed otherwise, John would continue to think of this woman as the Helena he knew and loved. The fear and tension that had constricted in his throat earlier eased a bit as he sat beside Helena, carefully reaching for her hand so as not to disturb the IV hookup. He brought her hand up to his face and brushed his lips across the back of it while a single tear escaped from his eye to trickle down his cheek.

               Somewhere - a long way away - Helena Koenig could sense... strangeness, and a tenderness she had not known for a very, very long time. It puzzled her, and compelled her toward it, to learn more. Slowly she began the struggle to overcome the last of the chemicals in her system, the ones that were urging her back to sleep.

               Off in the distance, Helena heard a deep voice calling for Bob Mathias, and as she opened her eyes slowly, she found the man smiling down at her gently, re-assuringly. Helena endured the quick examination to determine her status, answered the simple questions which were part of the routine following an accident. Finally Bob smiled as he handed the chart to the nearest nurse.

               "You're doing quite well, Helena. How do you feel?"

               "... Very tired."

               "That's easily cured. Think you're up to a visitor? There is someone nearby, very anxious to see you."

               The compelling feeling she'd had earlier returned to Helena. She had no idea of whom Bob could be speaking - no one she knew would be worried about her, but her curiosity could not be downed, and she carefully nodded her head, being certain not to move too quickly. She was still a bit dizzy. She saw Bob smile again, turn and signal to someone a few feet away, then Mathias moved out of the way to allow John Koenig, trailed by Victor Bergman, to take his place. Helena tensed visibly when John's eyes rested on her.

               "Helena..."

               "John."

               There was no smile for him. Her voice held none of the joy and warmth John associated with his lady, and she avoided meeting his eyes, as if afraid of him. John glanced at the others, then took a step or two toward Helena, trying hard not to react as she almost imperceptibly moved away from him. With Bob's words echoing in his mind, John moved to the bed and reached for Helena's hand - again. He swallowed a hard lump in his throat when he felt the tension - and perhaps fear - on first contact with her. She allowed the touch, but returned nothing. Bob was correct. This was not the Helena he knew and loved; who was so much a part of his life.

               "Helena, I... How are you?"

               "Very tired. I'd like to rest."

               "Of course. I'll be back to see you later."

               Helena only nodded, keeping her eyes averted. She breathed slightly easier when he took his hand from hers and at the breaking of that tenderness and caring that had compelled her to fight toward it before. She heard them moving off and looked up suddenly.

               "Wait,... I..."

               For the first time since she'd awakened, Helena allowed her eyes to meet John Koenig's. She suddenly knew why it felt so strange, so odd, so... out of place.

               "What is it, Helena?"

               John met her eyes softly, then glanced at Bob and Victor.

               "May we be alone for a moment, Bob?"

               "All right, Commander, but not for long. She needs her rest."

               John nodded and glanced down at his hands while the others left, then he met Helena's eyes again. They were confused, questioning, withdrawn, and... sad. He impulsively wanted to gather her into his arms and comfort her as he would with his Helena, but did not know if she would be able to accept and understand such a gesture. He decided to take it much more slowly.

               "Hello."

               "Where am I?"

               "Moonbase Alpha - the Medical Centre, but... not the one you know."

               She looked surprised that he would know and John smiled easily, moving gradually closer to Helena until he was standing next to the bed. This time she had not tensed, sensing he would not harm her, and as he eased himself down on the edge of the bed, he met her eyes.

               "The explanation is very long and complicated, Helena. Victor can probably explain it more simply than I, but... we are going to do all we can to make it right. This... meeting was mostly for my benefit - to convince me that... we have to get you back where you belong."

               "I... don't even pretend to begin to understand all of this... Commander."

               "Call me John, please. It will be easier for all of us."

               "All right - John. All I do know is... I'm out of place here. And if I'm here..."

               "We assume the Helena who belongs here is in your place."

               "How did all of this happen?"

               "We've really not had time to sort it all out, but suspect the -- exchange -- if you will, took place during an Eagle accident."

               "I remember a... training mission."

               "Yes."

               Helena drew a deep, sudden breath, ignoring the pain it caused as she realized what the other woman faced. She knew from just these few moments alone with John Koenig that his relationship with Helena was totally unlike the one she had with Koenig. It would not be a pleasant stay for her counterpart.

               "John,... you've got to make things as they should be as quickly as possible. If John, your counterpart, finds out... he won't really understand,.. he won't..."

               "Helena?"

               "I'm sorry. I can't explain it any better, except... things are not the same where I come from. I can tell from... you."

               "Is Helena in danger?"

               "I can't be sure, but... things need to be corrected."

               "Don't worry. We'll do our very best to make things right. Now, you'd better get some rest. We'll talk again later."

               John gave her a warm parting smile then left her to rest. Helena watched him go, hoping that, terrible as it sounded, the other Helena was badly injured. Not that she wished her ill, but at least if she were hurt, she would be in Medical Centre, and protected from John Koenig.

 

               But the feeling of 'wrongness' persisted when Helena Russell woke again. No one was near her and she took the opportunity to look around with a critical eye. It was her Medical Centre, yet it wasn't. There were subtle differences - button colors, the placement of diagnostic beds, medical supplies arranged differently on the emergency trays, nothing major yet puzzling nonetheless.

               Sighing, Helena relaxed a little and closed her eyes, inventorying her own condition. It was as Mathias had said - nothing too serious, yet she'd been almost certain she'd heard and felt more internal damage just before she lost consciousness than what she apparently sustained. It must have been something else. Helena did know she would be back on duty in only a few days.

               Even with the realization that she'd not been badly injured, Helena was slightly confused as to why John had not been to see her. Normally he would have been hovering nearby, making no secret of his concern for her. Over the years he'd come to accept that he couldn't be with her all the time during her period of recovery, no matter how much each of them would like it, but it just wasn't like John to not be there. It wasn't normal, but then... maybe that was the key. Helena somehow knew this whole situation wasn't 'normal', at least not the 'normal' to which she was accustomed.

               Hearing footsteps nearby, Helena opened her eyes again to find Mathias standing over her, a pleased smile on his face.

               "Helena."

               "... Bob."

               "I'm glad you're awake. I've just finished talking with your husband. He wasn't pleased by my medical orders that he is to stay away from you for a couple more weeks - allow your body to recover from both recent shocks - but he will comply. Somewhere under all that... I think he still does care for you."

               "You... needn't have done that, Bob. I'll be all right."

               Helena was confused, but growing more and more certain she was not having a bad dream. Another theory was forming in her mind, but it was one that would require extensive research and comparison to things she knew to be fact.

               "Yes I did, Helena. The last thing we need is for you to get pregnant again so soon after the miscarriage and this accident. We both know how Koenig will react if you lose another baby. We're going to take all the precautions we can to prevent that from happening, to avoid another miscarriage. The commander knows all of this, even if he doesn't like it. He's like the rest of us men - that need for living male heirs can sometimes overshadow everything. We all know Koenig is an excellent leader, but until he gets that heir... Let's just say it is in the best interests of everyone if he's kept happy. And personally, I think you'll be an excellent mother, Helena."

               Wanting to panic, to tell Mathias she'd never been pregnant in her life, that to allow new births on Alpha would be suicide for everyone, Helena kept still, simply nodding her acceptance of the situation. In a way it was a blessing. She was becoming more and more certain that she'd awakened to another woman's life - that she was in another person's place. It explained so much. It was she who was out of place in this... universe. Helena had listened to John and Victor discussing the theoretical possibilities of parallel universes, duplicate or alternate universes existing. The astro-physical theories involved were beyond her, but she understood the basics. And she understood if this were the case, she would need help to get back where she belonged. Could that be what had happened to her? She would be relieved to be released and able to do the research that would either confirm or deny the possibility.

               And if she were in another person's place, if she were not on the Alpha she knew, she would be facing a John Koenig she didn't know. It would be easier to prevent problems from arising if she could avoid the intimacies they obviously shared. Mathias' orders were more of a blessing than he'd ever intended them to be. She smiled slightly and returned her attention to the doctor at her bedside.

               "Now, Helena, I'm going to send you to your quarters to rest. And I do mean rest. No working on back logged reports, projects or patient files. Forget the housework. Just take it easy for a few days."

               "All right, Bob."

               He left her so she could put on her robe, and returned a few moments later, Victor Bergman following. She smiled upon seeing her old friend and willingly accepted his kiss on the cheek.

               "Victor..."

               "Helena... I am very relieved you weren't seriously injured."

               "Thank you. Bob assures me I'll be fine. Bob, what about the others?"

               "Hayhurst, Ferrell and Hoy are all in the burn ward. Anderson didn't make it and we don't expect Cheshire to live through the night. You, Lobb and Kearney were all lucky."

               Helena nodded slowly, sadly, then looked at Bergman as he placed a hand on her elbow, helped her to rise from the bed. They started for the door.

               "I'll check on you sometime tomorrow, Helena. And remember what I said, rest!"

               "I will, Bob."       

               They left the Medical Centre and Helena Russell grew quiet as they walked the familiar, yet slightly different hallways on their way to the nearest travel tube station. Helena was amazed by the number of children she saw, especially when they passed what had to be the Day Care Centre. She stopped to peer inside, seeing children, at least 20 of them, ranging in age from tiny infants no more than a month or six weeks old to children eight or nine years of age. Helena shook her head and glanced at Bergman when she felt him watching her. The look in his eye was one of sympathetic compassion. They resumed their silent journey to the travel tube and once inside, alone in the car, Bergman took a deep breath.

               "Helena, don't ever tell Koenig I said this, but... I sometimes think I made a grave error in arranging this marriage to him for you. I realize there was really no way out of it - for either of us - but... perhaps I could have been less willing. At the time... You know I'm one of the very few who believe women capable of handling their own lives, their own affairs. I was never comfortable with your guardianship, Helena. I may have agreed to Koenig's request simply to escape that responsibility, and if so, I do apologize..."

               An arranged marriage! Men being the guardians of women until marriage... Helena didn't like the sound of that at all! But she couldn't say so, she could only try to play along.

               "It's all right, Victor. John and I do have our problems, but..."

               "You've said so before, Helena."

               She met his gaze and gave him a weak smile. Helena knew she had to find some way of discovering exactly what kind of world she had awakened to.

               Bergman met her eyes again and Helena glanced away. He smiled gently and patted her hand as it rested on his arm. His confession had been a shock to her, but he felt Helena needed to know she could still come to him, count on him as a friend, count on his help if ever she should need it. He hated being forced to sit by and watch as Helena's self esteem and confidence were slowly eroded away by the man he'd married her off to; and by that very act, had relinquished his right to have a say in the events of Helena's life.

               When Victor first met Helena, she had been a confident, energetic, vibrant person. Koenig had turned her into a meek, quiet little thing who perhaps, now, truly believed all that utter rubbish about a woman's worth and contributions to society being measured only by the number of living male offspring she produced. Bergman fought down his intense anger at the age-old traditions, beliefs, and way of life. He was only one man. He could do little to change it.

               Helena's voice broke into his reverie.

               "Why did you give in so easily, Victor?"

               "Koenig... set his sights on you almost from the first day he set foot back on Alpha. And what he wants, he gets. Command of Alpha, you,... children. I'm afraid he's nearly obsessed with the idea of sons, and if you can't provide them, he'll find some other..."

               Bergman trailed off, knowing it was a delicate subject with Helena. She'd tensed a bit and he patted her hand again.

               "Sorry."

               "It's... all right, Victor. We just have to give it time. I think John understands that."

               "On most other subjects he's understanding and reasonable, but he feels he can't truly be a successful commander until he's proven his virility, until he has sons. Somehow he sees the two as interdependent. I don't, but... Well, I supposed you know him better than I do."

               Helena smiled slightly at the irony of his statement. Here, she did not know John Koenig better than anyone. Allowing Bergman to help her to her feet as the travel tube car came to a stop, their conversation lagged until they came to the door of the Koenig quarters.

               "I'll leave you here, Helena. Be sure to rest as Bob ordered. We do want you back to full health soon."

               Helena nodded and thanked the man, then stepped inside the quarters she shared with John Koenig - her husband. That was no real problem for the time being, Mathias had seen to that, but everything else... Sighing as the door closed behind her, Helena leaned against it a moment to collect her thoughts.

               Helena knew she had to find out exactly what the situation was before she was confronted by John Koenig. She could bluff her way through the brief encounters with other people, but he was her husband - here. He would know immediately if she messed up, and Helena Russell wanted all the facts she could obtain. She was, in essence, performing a transplant operation here, except she was trying to transplant herself into an alien and intricate society instead of manipulating a donor organ into a host body. Each procedure was complicated and could easily fail for lack of data.

               Feeling tired, but unable to spare the time to rest as she'd like, Helena slowly walked to the desk on the far side of the room and activated the computer terminal. Taking a deep breath, hoping she had the same clearances here as she did on her Alpha, Helena began to key in the commands that would give her unlimited access to medical, personal, and personnel records. After a brief, tension filled wait, access was confirmed, and Helena Russell began her research with Helena Koenig's files. It was the best place to start.

               Easing herself onto the double bed and welcoming the relief it brought, Helena closed her eyes and began to review what she'd learned. Basically the life of this Helena had been parallel to her own. Helena Dopkins Russell Koenig had known early that she wanted to become a doctor, and had been encouraged by her father to do so. From the sparse records available on her 'father', Helena Russell had deduced that he, like Victor Bergman, had not believed women needed to be looked after, had not liked all it implied, but was unable to do anything much about it. And, during the last year of her medical residency, giving way to societal pressures, George Dopkins had reluctantly agreed to and arranged his only daughter's - his only child's - marriage to astronaut Lee Russell. Once married, and with Lee's name, Helena had been given a position in space medicine research - until her first pregnancy. But that pregnancy had apparently never occurred, and after Lee's death on the Astro Seven probe mission to Jupiter, Helena Russell's position, research breakthroughs, and expertise in space medicine had eventually led to her being named head of Medical Services on Moonbase Alpha a few months before Breakaway. After the death of her father, then Lee, Victor Bergman had been - reluctantly - appointed responsibility for her. Like her father, Bergman had not actively asserted his position of guardian, and although Helena had gotten the impression Victor Bergman disapproved of the system, it was on record that his recommendation of her abilities had been a key factor in convincing those in authority to give her the position on Alpha. Perhaps he had hoped that on Alpha there would be some way to... bypass the system, allowing Helena to choose for herself what her life would hold. It obviously hadn't worked, for there she had met John Koenig when he took over command from Gorski.

               Three months after Breakaway, Helena Dopkins Russell had married John Koenig - again by arrangement, through Victor Bergman. Helena already realized it had been at Koenig's insistence. Knowing they had to ensure mankind's continued existence, Commander Koenig authorized the birth of children on the base, and new births had been occurring ever since - for everyone it seemed but her and Koenig.

               From here, Helena Russell moved on to her counterpart's medical files to learn even more. She had been healthy most of her life, save for a few minor difference in injuries and diseases, and the fact that Helena Koenig had been pregnant four times and each time had lost the child at various stages of the pregnancy. The first one had been nearly eight years before, and the child - a boy - had been stillborn at eight and one half months along. The most recent miscarriage had been only seventeen days before, at less than six weeks into the pregnancy.

               Helena Russell sighed. That explained so much about her personal life which had puzzled her at first, but the rest of it... It had to be a parallel universe - was far removed from the one she knew, and it was full of contradictions -- or perhaps archaisms was a better word, by her standards anyway.

               Wanting to understand as much as she could about the world she had awakened to, Helena had also given herself a quick history lesson - both Earth history and Alphan history. The early Earth history was much the same as what she knew, but as this world had come into 'modern times', the differences became more apparent. The sociological and cultural climates of this universe were different, perhaps resulting from some minor event in the past which had happened in her world, setting off a chain reaction there, but had not occurred here. Helena knew she did not have the time to explore it in depth. However, she did know the obvious differences. Most difficult for her was the attitude toward women, and that was where many of the contradictions occurred, as if this society itself did not know where and how women fit into the scheme of things.

               Women were given a good education, fair consideration in job opportunities and advancements, so long as the men who 'controlled' them -- owned them -- had the right connections, yet they were treated as property, and all that education and experience simply went to waste as soon as a woman was married off and gave birth to her first child, expected to stay home and care for the children. There was no getting around it. Women were married off as their male guardians saw fit to breed children and nothing more. Obviously that had changed on Alpha since Breakaway - they could not spare half the working population to stay home to care for children, so the women were 'allowed' to return to work not long after delivery, but that still did not change the fact they were regarded as property, and seemed to be content! Of course they had never known any other way, and Helena had to concede they were give some freedom - allowed their own choice of career, no matter how brief it might be.

               From what she had learned so far, Helena knew she would have to find a way to get back to where she belonged. She was sure she could play by their rules for a time, but not for the rest of her life. And her thoughts returned to the differences here. Human rights were obviously not as advanced as in her own universe, and some of the technological advances there had not been made here. Most important to Helena, of course, were those aspects of medicine and life support. In some ways they were further ahead here, the ability to allow new births on this Alpha was proof of that. Some of their space-research discoveries were still only theory in her universe. But they were behind in other aspects of the medical sciences - including the human reproductive process. Since women were expected to bear as many children as possible, there had been no cause, no incentive to explore any of the many forms of contraception, and that had also prevented them from learning how to treat other reproductive related problems. Women were not equal to men, if they could not bear children or died trying, there was always another one who would not fail.

               Helena knew she was receiving a very one-sided picture of it all, but couldn't help shuddering at the thought of what it must be like, and reached to hold her bruised ribs when the action brought a dull pain to her side. Before she could further her thoughts, her attention was drawn to the door. It opened slowly and John Koenig stepped in, his eyes meeting hers. He looked less than pleased, and Helena held her breath momentarily. This was the big test. If this man believed she was the woman to whom he was married, perhaps she really could pull off this impersonation until she found some way to get back to the Alpha she knew.

               Watching as Koenig came over to her, a frown on his face, Helena forced herself to stay calm and let Koenig make the first move. It was undoubtedly proper here. With a grim frown on his face, Koenig walked around the end of the bed to stand over her. He frowned more deeply when he neared and Helena Russell swallowed hard.

               Getting each Helena back to her correct place in the universe was the task Maya and Victor had turned their attention to. The physics involved were mind-boggling, but John knew - with those two working on it - a solution would be found before long.

               Knowing they could work best if left alone, John spent what time he could in the Command Centre, but his worry for Helena, both the one presently in Medical Centre and the one he knew; the one who was in some parallel universe, kept him from fully concentrating on his work, and he found himself pulled back to the Medical Centre. Those who were not fully informed of the real situation did not find it unusual. They simply knew the commander was worried about Doctor Russell, and would have found it odd if he'd not spent so much time with her.

               A couple of days after confirmation that an exchange had indeed taken place came, Bob Matthias called John into his office, a concerned frown on his face. When the door had closed, assuring them privacy, the doctor met the commander's eyes.

               "Is something wrong, Bob? Is she..."

               "No, Commander, no. Helena is recovering very well. I was just wondering if there had been any progress on a way to -- re-exchange them?"

               "Some. Maya and Victor have figured out when the exchange took place, and are nearly positive they know how it occurred, but they've still to discover how to duplicate the effect to make a second exchange possible. Why?"

               "Well, sir, I've been talking with Helena, trying to get some of the medical history straight. She comes from a totally different society and environment than what we know here, a world... far removed from ours."

               "In what way?"

               "Perhaps a few examples would best illustrate. In Helena Koenig's world, women are still treated as belongings, possessions. Marriages are arranged for them and their worth is determined by the number of living male offspring they bear. The... factual aspects are quite different as well. While it is true the moon was blasted out of orbit, just as we were, and a man by the name of John Koenig is in command, the situations differ widely. On her Alpha, children are a way of life..."

               "And in a society where male children are highly valued and this Helena has been unable to have any... It must be hell for her."

               "Perhaps, but I am working on that. I may be able to help her in that respect before she returns to her own universe."

               "Is that what she wants?"

               "I believe so, but I will of course consult her about it before I take action. Men may make all the decisions in her universe, but... she's in ours now, and deserves to make her own choices."            

               "Go on, Bob."      

               "Why don't you ask her about it, Commander. Your visits tend to cheer her, and it seems to do her good to talk about it. Somehow... she senses that what she lives with is not as it is here."

               "Is she up to a lengthy visit, Bob?"

               "If she gets tired, she'll tell you. In that way, both our Helenas are very much alike."

               Both men smiled, then John stood and left the office, heading for Helena's bed. She was in the far end of the ward, somewhat apart from the other patients. John stopped a moment before crossing to her.

               Helena Koenig lay on her bed, eyes closed but not asleep. He smiled, almost protectively, and wondered if she could really want to go back to that world Bob had just told him of, but knew he could not condemn the woman he loved to that kind of life. And while the woman on the bed looked and acted like Helena Russell in many ways, she was not the woman he did love. They had to make the universe right. Taking a deep breath, John Koenig moved over to her bed. He pulled up a chair to sit beside her as she opened her eyes.

               "Hi. Am I disturbing you?"

               "No, I was just thinking."

               "About what?"      

               "About... where I belong and..."

               "And how the Helena from here is getting along there?"

               "Yes..."

               "You needn't worry. Helena Russell is quite able to look after herself, even if things are vastly different."

               "I hope you're right. I wouldn't want John to... I wouldn't want anything to happen to her." 

               "Nor would I... Bob was telling me a little about how things are for you; that children are allowed on your Alpha."

               "Yes. We have to. There is no other way."

               "How are you able to handle the additional strain and stress on resources? Here it is a struggle to maintain the small population we currently have. How do you do it?"

               Across the ward, Bob Mathias watched the pair with the trained eye of a physician and psychiatrist, and nodded contentedly. This was the therapy they both needed - Helena to let her know she was of more value to someone than as just a link in the procreative process, and John to get his mind off what his Helena might be facing in that other, drastically different universe.

 

               Koenig continued to stare down at her for a moment, then sat on the bed to remove his boots. Helena Russell let herself relax a bit and settled back on the bed, her eyes fixed on Koenig's back. He looked over his shoulder at her, the frown not completely gone.

               "What the hell were you doing out there?"

               "Doctor Mathias had cleared me to return to duty..."

               "I know that. I read the report."

               Helena bit back her retort, unsure of how far she could push this man, and she physically pulled back a little when he snapped at her, then looked down at her hands to avoid his gaze. She suddenly realized her finger was bare - she wore no wedding band - if indeed this man had given her counterpart one, and she casually moved her hands beneath the covers so he wouldn't notice. Helena now understood why Mathias had been so concerned for her health, and why Bergman had confided what he had to her. The John Koenig of this universe was far from the loving, concerned, gentle and caring man she knew.

               Koenig sighed. He was annoyed by Mathias' orders to stay away from Helena for awhile, not by her, but as always, he was taking it out on her, and she was accepting it. He was relieved she'd not been seriously injured. And he knew it was in his best interest that he do as the doctor ordered. It would aide Helena's recovery and maybe, just maybe, the next pregnancy would go full term and produce a living child. He shook his head.

               "Never mind. Order dinner while I take a shower."

               He moved into the bathroom and as the door closed, Helena Russell felt her tension ease a little bit. She was beginning to fully realize how difficult it would be for her in this world, and she would have to constantly be on her guard until she could return to her own Alpha -- if indeed that was possible. It had to be, for she knew she could never survive a world such as this. Her own independent streak would be her undoing.

               Glancing at the closed bathroom door, Helena Russell reached for her commlock and called for dinner as Koenig ordered. She'd been in this universe less than 24 hours and all ready was longing for the familiar and comfortable love of the John Koenig she knew and loved in return.

               Sighing as the door closed, Koenig disrobed and stepped under the hot stream of the shower. He adjusted the showerhead to 'massage', and closed his eyes as he let the water pound away at the ever present tension knots in his muscles. Koenig also blanked his mind and allowed thoughts to come at will. Status reports, monthly reports, research requests and any number of items related to the running of the base passed through his head, but all were chased away by his thoughts of Helena. He tried to shake them away, dismiss them as unimportant, as secondary to his duties as commander of Alpha, but he could not, for if he were to be a good commander he also had to be a good father, and so far that goal had eluded him. And while he'd liked to have blamed it all on Helena - on her inability thus far to give him a son - he couldn't. He knew it wasn't totally her fault, but it was such an... ingrained goal, such a widely accepted standard of judging manhood and success that he could not easily dismiss it as something that was simply not meant to be. He could not accept that perhaps he was not meant to have a son - or any children.

               It wasn't as if Helena were not trying. She had no trouble getting pregnant, but carrying the child to term seemed the problem. She was a good wife in every other respect. Obedient, responsive to his wishes, and more than willing to give him those children, but ...

               Reaching for the soap, Koenig began to suds himself, unable to get his thoughts away from his domestic situation. Inside he knew the problems weren't all created by Helena. He had done more than his share to make things as they were. He was not always reasonable with Helena - venting his many frustrations on her. Like just now. He'd taken out his annoyance with medical orders on her. Yet she'd accepted it as she always had.

               No, not always. There had been a brief time, early in their marriage, when Helena would have reacted differently, would not have accepted his anger. She'd have put him in his place - a result of her having been on her own for so long and the lack of strict male authority over her. But that had been part of what attracted him to her. It had all changed after she lost that first child...

               Rinsing himself off, Koenig reached for a towel. Contrary to the way it looked - then or now - he really had loved Helena. He supposed he still did, but he no longer knew how to show her. There was so much... he didn't know how to term it, but whatever it was certainly was interfering with their relationship. Very little - if anything - about their marriage was enjoyable anymore. He wanted to do something to change it, to make it as it had been when they were first married, but he didn't know what, any more than he knew how to tell or show Helena he did love her. Maybe something would eventually come to him. Until then...

               Putting on pajamas and robe, Koenig went to join his wife for dinner. When the meal was finished, Koenig settled himself at the desk and Helena finally allowed herself to relax enough to drift into a light sleep. She stirred slightly when he came to bed and moved toward him as she always did, but this John Koenig ignored her, turning on his side away from her. Helena checked herself as she was about to slip her arm about him. Here she could not do that, he would not understand -- at least as she was sensing and understanding their relationship. Sighing silently, Helena also turned on her side and closed her eyes, setting her mind on the problem of getting herself back to where she belonged as quickly as possible.

               Three days after the Eagle accident, Mathias told Helena she could return to very limited duty - no more than three hours a day to begin with. And Helena put that time to good use by acquainting herself more fully with the medical facilities and capabilities of this universe so she would be prepared should she actually have to make use of her skills and knowledge. There were really not a great many differences, and that made things a lot easier.

               And with her return to duty, Helena felt she could more easily justify being seen in other parts of the base. At her first opportunity, Helena sought out Victor Bergman in his lab. He was pleased to see her and asked her in for tea. Once seated in a small, partitioned off area he used as an office, tea mug in hand, Helena met his eyes. She knew this was a man to be trusted - in either universe.

               "How are you doing, Helena?"

               "Physically, I'm fine, Victor, but mentally..."             

               "Is John pressuring you again?"

               Helena looked puzzled for a moment, then finally realized what he meant. She shook her head.             

               "No, not that, he's... grudgingly respecting doctor's orders."                             

               "Something else, then?"  

               Helena nodded, taking a deep breath. Bergman was her sole hope, and she could hold nothing back from him.

               "Victor, what I'm about to say may sound... absurd, perhaps even... insane, but I feel I have enough proof to convince you otherwise. What I don't have is the knowledge to put it right, and that's why I've come to you."        

               "Go on."              

               She met his eyes, then stood, crossing the room to glance at a small rendition of the moon's present surface.

               "Have you ever heard of the possibilities of parallel universes, of two or more different universes occupying the same time and place in space, but in a different... dimension, a different reality?"  

               "I have heard theories, read papers on them, Helena, but how do you know of them? Why do you ask?"             

               Bergman's eyes narrowed slightly, his mouth firmly set as she turned back to face him, her eyes downcast and voice slightly hesitant. She could easily find herself locked up in the Alphan Psych ward for a long, long time if she had misjudged Bergman.

               "I know of them because... I'm from a parallel universe, Victor. I believe the exchange took place during that Eagle accident. Simple facts - simple medical facts - will prove what I'm saying. The Helena you know is married to John Koenig and has had several miscarriages - the most recent being less than a month ago. A medical exam will prove that I have never been pregnant in my life, just as I have had several other medical incidents the Helena of your universe has not. I am more than willing to undergo that medical exam to make that proof available."

               Bergman had stood and was studying Helena Russell carefully. He slowly shook his head.

               "No, you needn't do that, Helena. I believe you. And it explains so much about you, differences, subtle though they may be, that I've noticed since the accident... Does Koenig suspect?"

               "No, I don't think so, at least... he hasn't let on."

               "Believe me, we'd know if he did suspect."

               "Will you help me, Victor? Help me get back to where I belong; return the woman you know to her rightful place here?"  

               "I will do what I can, Helena. Tell me, will those in your universe suspect?"

               A distant look came into Helena's eyes as she, for the first time, thought of John's reaction and considered the fact another woman was in her place on Alpha. And she felt certain that the other woman was more safe than she herself was. Slowly, Helena Russell nodded.

               "Yes, I believe so, and they too will be doing all they can to make things right."

               "But, it may require help from both sides of the affected continuums. Yes, I will do what I can, Helena. And what of you?"

               "Me, Victor? I'm a doctor - in any universe. I'm going to do what I can to help out here."

               Not quite sure he understood what she meant, Bergman nodded curiously, and watched as the woman slowly left his lab. He wished there was some way for the two Helenas to meet, he believed Helena Koenig would benefit from it, but that was not possible.

               Turning to the computer terminal, Bergman set to researching the parallel universe theory. He doubted there was much time left in which to right things.

               Helena Russell sat in her counterpart's office, deeply engrossed in her own research project when the door to her office opened and Mathias entered, a frown on his face. It had only been four days since the accident, but...

               Helena glanced up, then blanked the computer screen, not yet ready to explain what she was doing should Mathias get a look and become curious.

               "Yes, Bob?"

               "Helena, I... have the results of that medical scan we ran earlier today."

               "Is something wrong?"

               "No... no, as a matter of fact, your recovery is remarkable, especially considering the traumas your system has experienced recently. I know it has been less than a week, but I can no longer justify my order for the Commander to stay away from you. He'll be notified of the change when the next status report is issued - late today."

               Helena eased back in her chair as the full impact of what Bob had just told her hit. That meant... well, perhaps she could still find a way to avoid Koenig until Bergman had time to work things out.

               "I'm sorry, Helena."

               "It's... all right, Bob. I'll be fine."

               "Are you sure?"

               "Yes, Bob, I am... Really, I'll be fine. John is my husband and it is my duty..."

               She met the other doctor's eyes, unable to complete the sentence, choking on the words. No, she couldn't say it, could not voice that which she did not believe, no matter what role she was playing. Her only hope was that Bergman was making some kind of progress. Slowly Mathias nodded and Helena watched as he left her office, somehow sensing that he too shared Bergman's view of women's abilities. The female doctor sat for a moment, reviewing all her options. There weren't many, so she quickly put through a call to Professor Bergman.

               Less than five minutes later, Helena leaned back in her chair as she flicked the comm screen off. Bergman was making progress, but it was slow. He believed correcting the gap between the two universes was possible and he had begun work on the initial formulas. However, he would not have any firm results until later the next day.       

               Knowing there was nothing more she could do until Bergman had a better understanding of the situation, Helena Russell turned back to her own medical research. She saw distinct possibilities for what she intended, and it was only a matter of time before she traced down the exact thing she was looking for.

               Several hours later, Helena Russell became aware of someone watching her. She finished an entry on the computer, then looked up slowly to find John Koenig standing in the doorway to her office. The look on his face told her he knew of her revised medical status.

               "... John."

               "Helena, I want to see you in our quarters in ten minutes."

               "I'm nearly finished here. I'll be there as soon as I can."

               "I said ten minutes."

               She met his eyes and knew she had better not cause trouble just then. Slowly she nodded, then he turned and left. Fingers nervously rubbing against one another, Helena Russell took a deep breath to calm herself and resumed her work at the computer. She was very close to an answer, wanted to complete her trace of this particular lead, and simply could not stop until she had finished it. She would contend with Koenig later.

               Twenty minutes later than she should have been, Helena Russell slowly made her way down the hall toward the Koenig quarters, less than anxious about the upcoming meeting, reviewing the work she had done in the last few hours to keep her mind off what could happen when she did arrive. At least she had completed her research; she now knew how it had to be treated and approached, and knew, someday, Koenig would be grateful. Now he would only be angry and like it or not, it was something she must face.

               Taking a deep breath, hoping she was up to handling this Koenig as she could the man she knew when he was angry, Helena activated her commlock and opened the door. It slid away slowly and Helena stepped in. As she'd expected, she was confronted by an angry Koenig as the door closed softly.

               "John, I..."

               "I told you ten minutes."

               "Yes, I know, and I told you I would come as soon as I could. I had to complete what I was working on."

               "It could have waited."

               "No, it couldn't have waited. I was at a critical stage, and had I stopped, I would have lost a good fourteen hours of work."

               "That's no excuse for denying my wishes."

               "I didn't offer it as an excuse."

               She'd moved away from the door but Koenig caught her by the arm when she tried to pass him. Their eyes met.

               "Delaying what you know is going to happen hasn't helped any."

               Helena felt a sudden rush of fear but fought it down. She didn't want Koenig to sense it. She had known all along this might happen and had been hoping to avoid it, but the look in Koenig's eyes told her that was not to be.

               "John... couldn't we wait? We're both tired, and the time is wrong. My system hasn't stabilized yet. It wouldn't do any good."

               "Shut up and quit stalling. You may not enjoy it anymore but you are - for the time being anyway - still my wife and your duty is to provide what I want when I want it."

               Helena tensed in sudden, surprised fear when Koenig pulled her to him and began kissing her neck. He pushed her to the bed and was on top of her quickly, pulling at her uniform with only one purpose in mind. Helena closed her eyes and fought back the tears, unable to stop him and knowing - in this place, as the Helena Koenig of this universe - she could not try.

 

               Physically, Helena Koenig was well enough to be released from the Medical Centre only a few hours after the exchange had taken place and been discovered, but Bob Mathias, with John Koenig's approval, had decided to keep her there slightly longer - for her own well being.

               But, after four days Helena Koenig had begun to get restless, so her release was ordered, and she was advised to get as much rest as she could. John saw Helena Koenig to the quarters he and Helena Russell shared. As she settled herself on the bed and glanced about the room, fascinated by the fact Helena Russell had hobbies and other interests as well as a career and a healthy relationship with John Koenig, the man began to pack a few things. Helena watched him, curious.

               "What are you doing?"

               "Packing. I'll stay with Victor until we get things sorted out."

               He glanced over at her and she gave him a grateful smile. This was a man who truly cared for the people around him. Her John had been like that once - long ago - and still was to a degree, toward everyone but herself. She didn't know what had caused him to change toward her so.

               "That's..."

               "Helena,... do you really want to go back?"

               "I have to, John. I have no choice. My place is on that other Alpha, my duty is to give John all the children I can. The universe must be put right."

               "But is that what you really want?"

               "Yes, because... things must be put right, because... from what I've seen here, the Helena of your universe would never be able to fit in as me, would never be... happy or comfortable within our society."

               John smiled easily and nodded.

               "You're right about that. You and the Helena of my world are alike in many ways, but... vastly different in many others."

               "Because of the different societies in which we were raised, the different values and beliefs we were taught. I have no choice but to return, John, but... I will never forget the look you've given me at how different things could be; how much better they could be if... Nor will I ever forget the... envy I feel for your Helena, the love you have for her. I could never fit in here, could never take her place, nor would I want to try."

               John eased himself down on the edge of her bed and reached for her hand.

               "Did your John ever feel that way toward you?"

               "Perhaps once, a long time ago."

               "What happened?"

               "I... don't really know. Perhaps it was the death of his unborn son..."

               "Your son too, Helena."    

               "No, John, his son. In my world..."  

               "Never mind. There was a time in our history too when women were treated much as you are."

               "How did they change it?"

               "By... asserting their right to be treated as human beings. It was a long, hard fight, and in some ways they are still fighting it, but... there is hope, if you have the courage to try."    

               She nodded silently, glancing down at her hands, and the finger that had once worn John Koenig's wedding band. He'd taken it from her after the last miscarriage, saying she could have it back when she'd earned it. And tears came to her eyes.

               "Hey..."

               John took her in his arms to comfort her, wondering what could have triggered her sudden emotions.

               "Hey... Helena, shhh..."

               "I have to go back, John, I have to..."

               "You will, I promise. We'll do all we can to make things right. Okay?"

               Helena Koenig nodded and wiped the tears away, then settled back on the bed. She took a deep breath as she met John's eyes. If only her John could be half as caring as he had once been.        

               "I'm sorry, I..."

               "Don't worry, you've been through a lot. Now, I'd better get out of here and let you get some rest. See you later."     

               "All right. John,... thank you."

               He smiled and nodded, then picked up his small suitcase and left. As the door closed behind him, he reached for his commlock to call Sandra Benes. It was time Helena Koenig received a crash course in Women's Suffrage.

 

               He released her hands and pulled back, turning on his side away from her. Helena swallowed an anguished cry, then closed her eyes in relief and let the tears trickle down her face. She curled into a ball on her side and pulled the sheet over her shoulder, hoping Koenig fell asleep quickly.

               At least it was over, almost before she was sure it had happened. Koenig had been fast, and rough. She'd not felt this much discomfort from sexual intercourse for a long time, and she couldn't help but wonder if it was like that for them every time -- anything to keep her thoughts off what had just happened to her. If it was... she could only feel sorry for her counterpart. No woman should have to endure the disappointment and dissatisfaction. Nor should any man for that matter. If this was what they experienced every time, it was no wonder they were unhappy, no wonder she had sensed a resentment from Koenig that could not be totally based on the other Helena's inability to carry a child full term; to give Koenig that seemingly all important son.

               Hearing even breathing from Koenig on the other side of the bed, Helena Russell slipped from between the sheets and moved quickly to the bathroom. She still had a lot of work to do, and that work would also help keep her mind from the coldness and complete lack of sharing, of giving, of caring she'd just been through. As she showered and dressed, she was hoping - praying - that Bergman had found some of the answers they needed.

               Koenig lay on his side, hating what had just happened. It hadn't always been like that. Once - long ago - when they were first married, Helena had been eager to please him. She had been more than cooperative and he'd not had to force her, order her to bed with him. When had it all changed? When had he changed toward her, when had Helena become so... listless? Once she'd been lively, vibrant, unwilling to be totally dominated and ordered about by him, but now... The changes had been so long ago he really couldn't remember. Years. And he had loved Helena once. He still did, but no longer knew how to show it, how to make her understand that. It was all so complicated. The only thing of which he was certain was that they were not the same people they'd been right after Breakaway, and he didn't know how to change it back. The birth of the son he so desired would not make things right between himself and Helena, no matter what he tried to make himself believe.

               Taking a deep breath, Koenig closed his eyes to sleep. He had work to do come morning. There was always the chance something would happen to make Helena more of the self-assured woman he had met when first coming Alpha - a lifetime ago.

               Koenig was sleeping when Helena Russell left the quarters and she saw little of him the following day, save for the hour she was required to spend at a staff meeting that afternoon. Afterward she spoke briefly with Bergman, pleased to learn he would have some definite answers for her before the day was over. The remainder of that day was spent completing the research required of her project, and writing down the instructions for accessing it. Those instructions would be left in the safe keeping of Professor Bergman, for Helena knew he was a man to be trusted and relied on - in any universe. Helena knew she would be changed by her experiences here, just as she was sure her counterpart would be changed by what she experienced in her world. Perhaps those changes could be put to good use here when Helena Koenig returned. She was going to give it her best try.

               That completed, Helena Russell turned her energies on discovering more of the history of this Alpha, hoping she might be able to learn how they were able to allow new births while in her own universe it was a constant struggle to just maintain the lives they already had. But during that search, Helena grew fascinated by the personal histories of the people she was currently in contact with. She was distressed to learn that, in this parallel universe, Maya of Psychon had been with them only a few months. Helena Koenig was pregnant at the time they received the neutrino transmissions from Earth. Therefore it had been Maya who'd accompanied Koenig and Carter on that first attempt to return to Earth, and Maya who had contracted the viral pneumonia. They returned to Alpha too late to save the Psychon, and she died a painful death with Bill Fraser by her side. Tony Verdeschi had married Tanya Alexander three months before they'd encountered Psychon. Tony and Tanya had four sons and another child on the way.

               So absorbed was Helena in discovering these differences that she was unaware of the passing time, and only realized how late it was when the buzzing of her commlock intruded on her thoughts.

               "Yes."

               "Helena."

               "Victor... I'm sorry, I lost track of time. Have you news?"

               "Yes, good news."

               "I'll be right there."

               She signed off and quickly tidied up the office, making certain all traces of her research were disposed of and the instructions for Helena Koenig were in her pocket when she left.

               Over an hour later, Helena Russell nodded her understanding of what was to be done - and how it was to be accomplished. Bergman was certain it would work, and Helena knew she had to trust him. He was her only way back to her own life.

               "... and if there are no further complications, we should be able to attempt this early tomorrow evening."

               "I hope it is more than just an attempt, Victor."

               "As do I, Helena. You're certain the people of your universe will be working on this problem as well?"

               "I'm certain, Victor. John, and yourself, along with Maya, will be doing everything they can to correct things, to... return us to our proper places in the universal scheme."

               "I see. John knows you well, then, will be able to..."

               "Detect the differences in Helena Koenig? Yes, he will. He knows me very well, Victor. In some ways better than I know myself."

               "Mmhmm... Helena,... I heard about the revised medical orders. Are you all right?"

               "I'm... handling it, Victor."

               "Has he tried to..."

               "He hasn't hurt me, if that's what you mean."

               "He wasn't always this way, Helena. Once, long ago, it was obvious he truly loved her."

               "What happened to change him, to make him as he is now?"

               "Many things, among them the want, the desire - the need - for a son. He lost his first wife and twin sons in childbirth. Since then... perhaps he's afraid it will all happen again and is trying to prevent himself from truly caring for anyone. He appears to blame Helena for her inability to give him that son. His... coldness has grown worse with each child she has lost and yet, under it all... I believe John does still care for her, deeply, perhaps even love her, but is unable to show it."

               Helena Russell nodded, then glanced down at the computer disk she slipped from her pocket. 

               "Never having been pregnant, let alone having lost a child, I really can't begin to understand how either of them feels, but... I think I may have something here that will help."

               "What do you mean?"

               "While you have been trying to determine how to get me back where I belong, I've been doing a little research on my own. I've learned that Helena's inability to carry a child full term is due to a minor flaw in her reproductive system. She is unable to produce enough of a certain hormone to maintain the proper chemical balance needed for the child to go full term. The condition is easily corrected, but here... the technique has yet to be discovered and developed. These are the instructions for accessing all the data I've left behind on the procedure. Give them to Helena, tell her I'm sure it will help. Should she decide to undergo the treatment... Well, let's just say she should be able to give Koenig that child in less than a year after the completion of the treatment."

               Bergman slowly took the computer disk as he nodded, a single tear touching the corner of his eye.

               "Thank you, Helena. It will mean a great deal to her."

               "It is the least I can do."

               "Yes, well... perhaps you should get some rest."

               "I will, and Victor... thank you."

               "Thank me after you have reached your home. Helena, may I ask you a question? It is rather personal."            

               "Go ahead."

               "Why have you not had any children?"      

               A distant, almost sad look came to Helena Russell's eyes for a moment, then she blinked and glanced down at her nervously moving fingers. She slowly smiled, sadly.

               "Before, on Earth, before coming to Alpha, before Breakaway, I chose not to. I was busy with my research, my career, Lee was... in space a great deal... there was just never time for a family. Now, on Alpha, although John and I would like to have a child, we can't. My Alpha can barely sustain the lives we currently have. To allow new births would be... mass suicide."

               This time it was Bergman's turn to nod slowly, and he gave Helena a sad smile as she turned and left the lab. Perhaps he could still repay the favor she had done for Helena Koenig.

               Helena Koenig sat quietly in the quarters she, her counterpart in this universe, shared with John Koenig. She would liked to have met this woman, liked to have known her and called her a friend, but knew that was not possible. They would pass one another on the return trips, but nothing more.

               The whole thing was all so confusing. For a brief moment she'd wanted to believe it was nothing but a bad dream, yet it was not. The feelings for her counterpart coming from this John Koenig were too strong, too real to be part of a dream - bad or otherwise. Helena Koenig was certain she was living all this, and if it was not reality, it was fantasy - a hope for the way she would envision things to be, but it was not a bad dream. Selfishly, part of her wanted to stay there, to stay in a place where John Koenig truly did love her, care for her and about her, where she was treated with consideration, respect and affection, but it was not she who was treated that way; it was her counterpart, Helena Russell, and that was the woman whom John loved, not herself. Perhaps in time he would - could - come to love her, care for her, as herself, but there would always be the memory of Helena Russell, alive in some other universe, between them, always the hope that somehow they would be able to correct the universe.

               No, Helena Koenig knew she could not stay, just as Helena Russell could not stay in her universe. They belonged in their proper places, in the universe to which they had been born. And for all the disappointments and unhappiness there had been in her life, Helena Koenig longed for the familiarity of the Alpha, and the people, she knew. Logical or not, she also longed for her husband. She loved him still, in spite of all that had happened, all that he had done to her. She knew that if she could just give him the son he so desired, the son that was every man's right, he would begin to love her again. She would give John Koenig that son - or die trying.

               And until she could give John that son, Helena Koenig took comfort in the fact that she had done what very few women in her world had accomplished. She was head of an excellent medical research facility, had the respect and friendship of her colleagues, and had achieved that position with very little influence on the part of the men who'd controlled her over the years. Perhaps a small glimmer of the human rights she'd been learning about here had already begun in her universe. She hoped she could see the changes take a bigger, stronger hold - someday.

               Her thoughts were interrupted by the buzz of the door, and Helena Koenig called her permission to enter. The door glided open and John Koenig stepped in, a smile on his rugged face.

               He glanced at the woman for a moment, reflecting on the discussion he'd just had with Victor. The man was concerned about their... tampering with the universal scheme. Wondering if they had a right to expose Helena Koenig so openly to their values and beliefs in what was right. Victor wondered if it would do her more harm than good to know about conditions she might never experience, things she could only ponder yet never actively have as part of her life. John had countered by asking the professor if they had the right to deny her knowledge - knowledge that was every person's right. They were educating her, nothing more. What Helena Koenig chose to do with that education was up to her. Perhaps that learning could be put to use in her universe, perhaps it would remain only memories for her. None of them could know. However, John had long ago come to understand that whatever happened to them out in space - explainable or not - happened for a specific reason; for a purpose. They might not ever know or understand that reason, that purpose, but he was not about to question it, and wanted to help in any way he could.

               The door sliced shut behind him as Helena Koenig returned his smile.

               "Helena, have I come at a bad time?"

               "No, I was just... thinking."

               "How do you feel?"

               "Still tired, a bit... bewildered, but better, stronger."

               "I'm glad to hear that. And I have good news for you."

               "Oh?"

               John had moved further into the room and now sat beside her on the couch. He nodded and met her gaze.

               "Yes, I've just come from a meeting with Victor and Maya. They have found a way to straighten all this out. If all goes well, you'll be back on your Alpha by early tomorrow evening."

               "That will be nice... What is going to happen?"

               "Well, the way I understand it... There is apparently a door between your universe and this one. When the Eagles crashed simultaneously on the exact same spots on the moon in both continuums, the door was forced open. Sort of like explosive decompression in both places. You and Helena Russell were caught in the force and energy exchange of that crash, resulting in your switching places. What now must be done is to re-create the force and energy exchange in order to correct everything. Now, they have constructed a protective enclosure to concentrate that energy in one place and to guard against further injury to you on the return trip. Maya says the hardest thing, the most difficult factor to figure has been Helena's location on your Alpha. We'll know where you are, but allowing for the variables as to where she might be has complicated it a bit, made the calculations much more difficult."

               "Perhaps I can help. You said this exchange is to take place early tomorrow evening?"

               "Correct."

               "Then, assuming Helena is able to be up and about, that she is following my routine, if she's not on duty in the Medical Centre, she will be in our... my quarters."

               "You're certain?"

               "Yes."

               "Thank you, Helena, I'm sure that information will be a great help to Maya. Now, I'd better let you rest. Tomorrow will be a busy day - for all of us."

               "Yes. John, in case there isn't time tomorrow, thank you for everything, but mostly for your understanding, your caring, even though I'm not the woman you love. I do envy Helena that."

               "You're welcome, Helena, and... I'll be sure there is time tomorrow. Rest well." 

               John smiled and gave her hand a gentle pat, understanding, at least in part, what she meant. He stood and left the room. He knew Helena Koenig had been sincere in what she'd said, and he hoped everything went according to plan the next evening. He was anxious to have his Helena back and ask her about the Alpha she had visited. It could prove very interesting.

               Slowly entering the Koenig quarters, Helena was suddenly very aware of the tension in the air. She glanced up from her hands to find Koenig sternly studying her from his place on the couch. She swallowed, not liking the look of annoyed anger she had seen in his eyes.

               "Where the hell have you been?"

               "I had a late appointment."

               "With whom?"

               "Victor."

               "What for?"

               "It was... a personal matter."

               "That I don't know about."

               "Perhaps you will, in time."

               "In case it has slipped your mind, he relinquished all claim to you when he agreed to our marriage."  

               Helena bit back what she truly wanted to tell this man; Bergman's true feelings about the wisdom of the marriage, but could not allow herself to violate the Professor's confidence. Instead she swallowed again.

               "It doesn't mean we can't still be friends. You certainly aren't one."

               "And what does that mean?"

               Helena met his eyes, unwilling to get into it. Koenig would not understand. Nor did she want to make it even more difficult for her counterpart when things were made right. She glanced down and shook her head. She may have already overstepped....