By Betsy Nicholas
“Ok, Alan, your deal,”
Tony Verdeschi handed the deck of cards to his friend.
Alan started dealing
five cards each around the table to Tony, Bill Fraser, Bob Mathias, Pat Osgood
and John Koenig. Several of the men
were relaxing a bit back on Alpha after a recent tour on the new planet, Loki.
While on the new planet, they were busy setting up a base camp,
inventorying the plant life and minerals on the planet and basically enjoying
being out of doors. Establishing a
new home was stressful but nothing like that which they had endured over the
past few years as their asteroid flew uncontrolled through space.
Tonight, approximately 8 months after the Moon had gone into orbit around
Loki, the group was enjoying themselves with a game of poker and some of
Tony’s infamous beer.
John
Koenig kept looking at his watch, torn between the good time he was having with
his friends and the responsibility he knew he had to his wife.
“What’s
the matter, John? Out past
curfew?” Bill Fraser joked to the Commander.
While they had shared quarters for years, John and Helena had been
married less than a year.
Before
he could answer, his comlock beeped, “John?” It was Helena’s face that
greeted him on the tiny screen. “Where are you?
I’ve been waiting….”
The group did all
they could do not to erupt into fits of laughter as John responded, “Yeah,
sorry Darling, I’m on my way”.
As soon as the
connection was terminated, everyone had a comment, “Uh oh, John, you’re in
trouble now”,“Gotta get home to the ol’ ball-and-chain, huh,
Commander?”, the jibes continued as John put down his cards and moved away
from the table.
“Yeah, yeah, cut me
some slack, will ya? I’ll see you
guys later….”
“Good night,
John”, “Later”, “Night”, “Good Luck”, they all called after him as
he hurried out of Alan’s quarters. After
the doors closed they continued to chuckle about how John jumped when Helena
called, worried that their friend was going to be “in trouble” for staying
out late with the guys. Only Bob
Mathias smiled to himself, knowing why John had to hurry home.
When the doors to their
quarters opened, Helena was standing in front of him, waiting.
“John, you were supposed to be home an hour ago.
Where have you been?” Before
he could answer, she continued, “You want me to do this by myself?”
“Darling,
if anybody could figure out a way to do it, it would be you.” He smiled and
waited for the door to close and moved towards her, wrapping his arms around her
and pulling her against him for a kiss.
“Yeah,
but it’s much more fun this way,” she stepped back and untied the robe she
was wearing, letting it drop to the floor, “now, come on, let’s get
pregnant!”
They made love off
and on for close to two hours…laughing, talking…they were both very much
enjoying their new challenge of conceiving.
They had been “trying” now for about a month…since their time on
Loki when John had convinced Helena that, despite their first disappointment,
they should try again to have a child. She
was wary at first of his commitment, she knew he would do anything to make her
happy, but little by little she came to believe he really did want to be a
father.
The
couple was being cautious this time though on two levels. Most importantly,
neither wanted to let the other know how worried they were that, if they were
able to conceive, the pregnancy might again result in miscarriage as the first
one had. Bob Mathias was not able
to determine precisely why the baby, a boy, had not lived past the first
trimester. Helena’s age, some
genetic incongruence, years of exposure to radiation and scores of other alien
climates and cultures….there was no way to know for sure if this was an
unfortunate twist of fate or a sign that the couple was not destined to have a
baby. They were going to do
everything they could to make it happen, which, happily, required them to make
love as often as possible.
Also
at issue to the couple was the desire to keep their continued attempts to
conceive a private matter…just between the three of them: Helena, John and Dr.
Bob Mathias. Keeping a secret on
Alpha was next to impossible, especially when it surrounded the Commander and
the Chief Medical Officer. The
Alphans’ intentions were good, but it was difficult enough to maintain a
relationship between two people without having 300 others knowing about every up
and down. If they were once again
to be disappointed, they wanted to keep their grief more private this time
around.
Neither
of those concerns were on John’s mind tonight, however, as he watched his wife
sleep, her head resting on his shoulder and her arm across his chest. He had been himself surprised that he very much wanted to try
again to have a child. He was
merely trying to please Helena the first time they got pregnant, shortly after
they were married and resolved to the fact that Loki, and the Moon in orbit
around it, were to be their home. The
morning Helena gave him the news that they were to be parents changed all that.
He found he was fascinated with the idea that he, they, had made a child.
He wondered about what he or she would look like, what the child might be
thinking, if babies in the womb even had thought, and he was fascinated with the
concept that Helena was carrying a life inside her.
All
those feelings were shattered however with the miscarriage. At the time, he had kept his hurt and disappointment to
himself, making Helena’s grief his first concern.
He realized later that had been a mistake, as it conveyed to her that he
was not upset by the loss. They had
eventually worked through the pain and Helena’s subsequent depression and were
now starting on a new adventure together and he admitted to himself that he had
not been this optimistic in a long time.
Helena stirred and he
reached to brush her hair from her face. In
the starlight that streamed through the windows of their quarters, he could see
her eyes slowly open. “Go back to
sleep,” he whispered and kissed her forehead. She mumbled in agreement and rolled over onto her side away
from him. He turned with her and
wrapped his arms around her, falling asleep wondering if they had made a baby
that night.
It
was just short of five weeks after that night that Helena walked into Bob’s
office, waiting for the door to close behind her to say, “You got a minute?”
“Anything for you,
Boss,” he responded, “What’s up?”
“I’m about four
days late….I know it’s a little early, but I’d like to take a pregnancy
test.”
“Helena…” he
knew he was being overly protective of his patient and friend, “four days is
a little soon, you sure you want to go through that? Why don’t we wait a few days…”
“I know, Bob,
please? I just have a
feeling…,” in her eyes he saw more venerability than he was used to seeing
in this strong woman and could not resist her.
He acquiesced, “Ok, let’s do it.”
Medical Center was
uncharacteristically quiet these days, most of the activity was pregnancy tests
and pre-natal visits due to the Alphans’ ever-growing desire to procreate! They found a deserted exam room and as he was preparing the
chemicals needed to perform the test, Bob asked, “You tell John you were going
to do this?”
“No,
I don’t want him to get excited if it’s a false alarm.
I’d rather just wait and tell him I’m pregnant!” She smiled but he
saw the anxiety. She was trying to
put on a good front, but Bob knew how apprehensive both of them were these days.
He hoped he would be able to give them news that would change all that.
It had been 3 hours
and Helena was going crazy, waiting for the test results. She tried to keep busy working in her office but she could
not concentrate. John had left
early that morning with Alan to observe the construction of greenhouses on the
lunar surface so he luckily he was not around to notice her worrying nor had he
seemed to realize this week that she had not started her period. It was around
the middle of first shift and most of those in the Medical Center had gone to
lunch. Helena could not wait any longer and she went to find Bob Mathias alone
in the lab.
“There you are,
Bob, the test results done yet?” She
tried to sound blasé but he knew differently.
He had just gotten the results about 10 minutes ago and was about to page
her.
“Yes,
as a matter of fact, you want to know what they said?” he knew it was cruel to
toy with her but since he knew the answer, it was worth it…
“Come on, Bob,
don’t do this to me, am I pregnant or not?” she demanded.
”Yes, Mrs. Koenig, you
are about 5 or 6 weeks along, congratulations!”
She let out a long breath,
“Oh, Bob, thank you…”
“Hey, I didn’t do
anything but look into a microscope! When
are you gonna tell your husband?”
“He and Alan will be back
tonight….Bob, what are our next steps?” she knew they were not out of the
woods yet.
He proceeded to list for
her the testing he wanted to perform to make sure the baby was going to be
healthy. They agreed that she and
John would schedule an appointment with him the next day to go over everything
together.
That afternoon, Helena
planned how she would tell John the news. The
first time they got pregnant, she could not contain her excitement and rushed to
his office to tell him. This time,
she thought she’d try a different tactic, and planned a romantic dinner and
evening during which she’d share her news.
It was about twenty hundred
hours that evening when Sahn called to let Helena know Eagle 4 was landing with
John and Alan on board. With the
new foods available from the plants found on Loki, many of the Alphans, tired of
years of hydroponic food, had begun to experiment with cooking.
Helena had never been much of a cook, no real time for it actually, but
she had done her best, with some help from Kate Goldburg, to attempt to put
together a sort of a vegetable lasagna for their dinner.
Well, she thought, if it didn’t taste all that great, at least it
smelled good and maybe, after she told him the news, they wouldn’t even get
around to eating!
About twenty minutes later,
John walked into their quarters, closely followed by Alan Carter.
John stopped a few feet in the door, “Hey, that smells really
good…we’re starved!” After teasing Helena one time too many about her
cooking, he knew he’d better be supportive if he wanted any dinner at all. He
moved across the room and met her with a kiss.
“Welcome
home, Darling. Hi, Alan,” she
tried not to sound disappointed that John had just invited their friend to stay
for dinner. Since Victor’s death,
John had been spending a lot of time with Alan.
Helena knew it was important that John have a guy to hang around with and
she thought the world of Alan. He
had become a regular visitor at the Koenigs’ at mealtime, which she didn’t
usually mind, but tonight…. She tried not to be angry with John as he had no
way of knowing what she had planned and she was determined not to ruin the rest
of the evening by being short with John.
“It’s supposed
to be lasagna, you’ll have to let me know what you think. Don’t worry, Kate did most of the work, it’ll at least be
edible.” She said, trying to sound lighthearted.
Two hours later when
dinner was finished and the dishes had been cleared away, John and Alan were in
a deep discussion of the greenhouse construction they had observed earlier in
the day. Helena should have been
more interested in the topic but she wasn’t, given her current preoccupation.
Finally, she yawned and declared, “This is fascinating, guys, but I’m
going to bed.”
John
realized she hadn’t really been included in their conversation and looked at
her to see if was upset with him, “I’m sorry, Helena, we can talk about
something else…”
“No, really, I had
a big day,” which wasn’t a lie, “I’m just tired.
Good night, Alan.”
“’Night,
Helena, thanks for dinner, it was really good,” Alan responded, trying to
figure out if he should leave. He
felt so comfortable in their quarters, much more homey than his own, he often
had to remind himself not to overstay his welcome.
John
rose and walked over to kiss Helena goodnight, “Sorry…” he apologized
again, not quiet reading her mood tonight.
She
kissed his cheek and whispered, “Don’t be, just wake me up when you come to
bed, ok?” He nodded in response,
finally starting to realize she might have had plans for them and wondering what
it was he might have missed out on this evening.
About
an hour later Alan said goodnight and John took a few minutes to put away the
blueprints and coffee cups from their long evening of planning. In the kitchenette area, he found Helena had sat out a carafe
of Lokian wine, or what passed for it, and one glass. He felt badly, having thwarted her plans for the evening, and
remembered her request to wake her when he came to bed.
He grabbed the wine, found another glass, and headed into their bedroom.
The
lights in the living room were still on and he left the door to the bedroom
open, allowing some light into the room without waking Helena immediately.
He quietly sat the glassware down on the nightstand and undressed, then
gently lie down next to Helena. She
was sleeping soundly and he hesitated waking her….he leaned down and kissed
her on the forehead and she stirred. “Hi”
she mumbled and smiled.
“Hi, yourself, sorry I ruined the
party tonight…why didn’t you say something?” he asked as he began to
stroke her bare arms and place kisses on her throat, which he knew drove her
crazy.
“It
was no big deal,” she responded to his question and his mouth on her body by
running her hand through his black hair, “I had just planned to serve you
dinner, make love to you,” she paused as he continued to kiss her neck and
shoulders, “then tell you I was pregnant….”
John stopped and looked up
at her, “Helena….are you serious? That’s
fantastic!” he moved up and kissed her deeply on the mouth.
“When did you find out? How
far along are you? Oh, my god…” he kissed her again before she could answer.
She was laughing when they
parted, “I found out this morning…probably about six weeks or so…. guess
all that sex was worth it,” she chuckled.
“Oh, it was worth
it,” he answered, “Helena, I’m so happy, I love you very much, you know
that?”
She smiled, knowing he was
sincere in his excitement, “I don’t know, maybe you’d better show me how
much…”
They made love tenderly
then lay awake talking for hours. Helena
explained all the tests that Bob wanted to conduct before they were
out-of-the-woods and John asked several questions, wanting to be well educated
on the process, what was being tested and what they might find.
As Helena finally dropped off to sleep, John pulled the blanket up more
tightly around both of them, perhaps subconsciously trying to protect his unborn
child from harm and whispered to her as he kissed the top of her head,
“Everything’s going to be alright this time, I just know it…,” then he
drifted off to sleep…
Betsy Nicholas
October, 2000