Helena turned over and reached out for John in her sleep. It surprised her to find him missing. In the early years of their travels through space he had frequently had trouble sleeping. Since coming to the Loki system, they had been busier, but with fewer of the crises that preyed on his mind and stole his ability to sleep. She sat up and looked around the bedroom. He wasn't there. She padded barefoot through the silent apartment, not bothering to dress. They kept the apartment warm for the baby, and she was perfectly comfortable in bare skin.

She was not surprised to find him standing beside the baby's crib, watching Alex sleep. The baby was fair, with wisps of blond hair, which curled around his ears and forehead. He had full red lips that were parted slightly as he slept. Alex was completely relaxed in his sleep, sprawled on his stomach with arms spread out to his sides. His left hand lay atop a small stuffed bear that his mother had made for him before his birth. The bear was his constant companion. Helena watched Alex move in his sleep, fingering the bear's already well-worn ear. Even though he was only nine months old, she was fairly confident that he would be left-handed, like his father.

As she stepped up next to her husband, he drew her into his arms. She leaned back against him, enjoying-- as always-- the feel of his skin against hers. Arms around her waist, John leaned his cheek against her golden hair.

"Was he fussing?" she asked quietly.

"A bit, I think that new tooth is still bothering him." John answered softly, speaking directly into her ear.

She nodded. Alex was a happy child, unless he was teething. He had never had colic, or temper tantrums or any of the other problems babies seemed to come up with. Other new parents on Alpha missed a lot more sleep than they did.

"He's just so wonderful, Helena." John continued, caressing her sides and nuzzling her ear as he spoke. "I never thought having a baby would be like this. Sometimes he looks so much like you and other times like me. He's like a blend of the two of us."

She smiled. "That's what he is, darling. "

John hadn't been too keen on the idea of fatherhood. She was well aware of the fact that they had expended a good deal of effort to have this child because she wanted to be a mother, and John loved her enough to humor her. But the birth of their son had changed all that. In fact, even before the birth, once he could feel the child move within her he had been in awe of the entire process of having a baby.

"I just can't believe we've made another whole person! It makes me feel--" he paused, searching for the right word. "Immortal," he finally decided was the right word. She could feel him grin even though she wasn't watching his face and smiled with him.

John's caresses had become more ardent as they spoke. The baby was soundly asleep and oblivious to his parents' attention. It was time to leave their son's room. She stopped her husband's hand as he began to caress her breast and led him from the room. He followed willingly, and as soon as the door slid shut behind him he pulled her into his arms and pressed his lips against hers hungrily. She responded eagerly. Although they had not been celibate during the last nine months, their lives were busy, their schedule disrupted, and like most new parents, when they had a chance to rest they were too tired to be particularly effective lovers. Tonight was different. She could feel John's passion rise, and his actions aroused her. She thought briefly that they would never make it to the bed if they continued like this, then she gave up thinking, and merely felt.

The commlock chimed at its usual time, an hour and a half before shift change. The baby was still asleep. Helena usually had time to take a shower before Alex began to demand attention. She wondered groggily why she was having such a hard time hearing the alarm. Her head was pillowed in the crook of John's arm, and her arm was draped across his chest, her favorite sleeping position. When she opened her eyes and looked around she smiled. They weren't in bed. John had snagged a cushion from the sofa for his pillow and was still soundly asleep. She stretched luxuriantly. It had been a long time since they had made love on the living room floor.

She felt wonderful, as if she could float off the floor and fly around the room. She propped herself on one elbow and watched her husband sleep. The feeling of euphoria just wouldn't go away, and she didn't want this moment to ever end. At that moment, she knew she was pregnant. She tried to dampen that thought. There was no way she could know that. She shouldn't feel any different, and even if their actions a few hours ago had resulted in pregnancy, she was well aware that it would be weeks before any tests would be conclusive. Nevertheless, she was completely sure that they had just made a new baby.

At that moment John opened his eyes. With the unerring mental radar he always seemed to have about her, he looked directly into her eyes and smiled. He caressed her cheek, "Good morning."

"Good morning." She simply smiled, not yet ready to stir and break the intimacy they shared.

"You're pregnant aren't you?"

The question startled her. "Why do you say that?"

He leaned forward and kissed her lips, "You're practically glowing with happiness. I almost need dark glasses to look at you."

"There's no way we can know that. Maybe I just enjoyed spending the night on the floor with you," she teased.

"Maybe, but the only time I've seen you look quite like this is when you're pregnant."

Again she tried to rein in her spirits, "It'll be several weeks before I can do any test to confirm it." Her grin was infectious as she added, "But I think you're right."

He pulled her against him, glowing a bit on his own and grinning with her. "I think it's wonderful."

He hadn't quite ever felt that way before. The last time he was too nervous over her reaction in case she lost another baby. The first time he had been detached too and his attitude had sheltered him a bit from the heartbreak that Helena experienced. This time, he knew what to expect, and how wonderful the end result was. He spoke prophetically, "This time it'll be a little girl, who is every bit as lovely as her mother."

Ellen Lindow

January, 1999