Pete Garforth sat in the little office near the Moonbase Eagle hangars where he still worked, reading and re-reading his son's message. He always felt a little nervous about visiting Loki; after so many years of living on Alpha he'd developed a kind of agoraphobia and hated standing out on the planet's surface, under all that open sky. But he loved his grandchildren, and he loved his son and daughter-in-law. For the chance to spend time with them, he'd put up with almost anything.

Neil had asked him to come and visit them several times recently, but each time he'd cried off on some pretext or other. The truth was, his wife didn't want to go. And she didn't want him going anywhere without her.

"Pah! Let them come up here!" Jill had exclaimed, when he broached the subject with her. "Why should we spend five days travelling all the way down to that godforsaken place, just because your son chose to go and live there? And I don't want you running off by yourself, either. I might need you for something, and then what would I do?"

At the time Pete had nodded his head and kept quiet, not wanting to upset her. Jill was unwell, which wasn't all that surprising, since neither of them would see sixty again. She suffered type 2 diabetes and had to follow a strict diet to help control it, as well as take some tablets that the medical center had prescribed. And to make matters worse, the year before she'd had a minor stroke, which left her with a slight limp.

"But I really want to go," Pete muttered to himself, continuing to stare at the slate screen. "I'd like the chance to see Tony's son marry the Silberstein girl, as well as visiting Neil."

Taking a deep breath, he stood up and left his office, heading for home.

Dear Neil and Layla,

Pete sat in the bedroom he shared with Jill and pressed a button on his slate, sending the message. It felt good to do something he wanted to for a change, without

'permission'. Felt good to be his own man.

He put the slate down and lay down on his single bed with a sigh, placing his arms behind his head. Jill was sulking. She lay in her own bed with her back to him, pretending to be asleep. But he knew better.

"What's the big deal about seeing Salvatore Verdeschi married, anyway?" she'd yelled, when he told her of Neil's latest letter and his decision to go.

"He's Tony's son," Pete had replied firmly. "And besides, I'm really going to see my grandkids. Are you sure you don't want to come too?"

Then Jill had turned on the tears.

"I'm not well enough; you know that," she'd sobbed.

"They have a perfectly good medical center at Dover, I believe," Pete had responded. "I'm sure you'd be fine."

But Jill refused to change her mind, convinced that her normally malleable husband would do as she wished in the end.

'Not this time' thought Pete. 'I've had enough.'

* * *

The engines of the cargo Eagle shuddered as the craft lifted off from it's launchpad, and Pete gritted his teeth. He hated travelling as a passenger, even though he'd given up test flying new craft some time ago, after Richard Koenig had warned him that his visual acuity wasn't all that it should be. Sitting in the passenger module, or in this case the cargo module, felt like a demotion.

'Don't be so stupid, you old fool,' Pete thought, with a grin. 'You're off on a well-earned two week holiday, away from Jill and Alpha and all responsibility. Enjoy yourself!'

Jill had sulked with him right up until his departure, not even bothering to say goodbye. Pete knew he'd have to pay dearly for his holiday on his return, too.

'What did I ever see in the woman?' he asked himself, as he sat sipping a cup of coffee.

But he already knew the answer. After the death of his first wife, Ngaio, he'd been incredibly lonely. And Jill was incredibly attractive, very available, and more than willing to marry him- even if it meant putting up with his kids. As the years went by, Pete soon learned that as long as Jill got her own way with everything she was fine, but if she didn't, there would be hell to pay. It was easier to give in and spend as much time as he could at work. That way, conflict was avoided and everyone was happy..... weren't they?

Pete sighed, and his thoughts turned to young Verdeschi's wedding. Would Tony's son find happiness with his new wife, or would she be the kind of strong willed woman that Jill was? He didn't know Hester very well, but if she was anything like Jenna Silberstein, then Salvatore would have his hands full. Marriage was for fools!

You know better than that, a tiny voice inside him whispered. What about Ngaio? Sweet, gentle Ngaio?

Pete dropped his head and stared into the half empty coffee cup resting between his knees. It still hurt to think of Ngaio's loss, even after all these years. Theirs had been the least expected union on Alpha, he sometimes thought- next to Alan and Emma Koenig's several years later, of course!

Ngaio Johnson, the short, plump woman from Catering section, who never opened her mouth to anyone. That was how most people knew her when he'd first bumped into her in one of Alpha's corridors, knocking over some kitchen utensils she'd been wheeling along on a trolley. They didn't see the Ngaio he fell in love with. The way her hips swayed when she walked, her tawny skin, her beautiful voice, her big brown eyes, her wonderful sense of humour, her intelligence....

Pete remembered the thrill of kissing her for the first time. He'd taken her to the smallest of Alpha's observatories and they'd spent an hour or two staring out at the stars, wondering if their runaway home would ever come to a stop. The Moon was still a good twelve months away from the Loki system at that time, and life on Alpha was such a struggle. He'd reached down and gently tilted her chin up to face him, before kissing her lightly, afraid that his actions might frighten her.

"Why?" she'd whispered. "What makes us so right for each other, Pete?"

He never really did discover the answer to her question. They just were. Perfect for each other.

A flash of anger crossed Pete's mind as he sat in the Eagle and reminisced, bringing a frown to his face. He and Ngaio had known very soon after they met that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together but there had been such prejudice, just because he was an A grade test pilot and she was from a different part of Alpha altogether. The sideways looks, the whispers behind hands, the scowls from Jill and other former girlfriends. The snide remarks at get-togethers when he and Ngaio attended as a couple. At first, Ngaio had felt so intimidated that she almost broke off their relationship. But she didn't, and it made Pete all the more aware of how much she loved him.

There were some who didn't judge their relationship, though. The Commander, for one, and his beautiful wife. They understood what it was like to love someone the way he and Ngaio did- that much was obvious. And there was Alan- good old Alan, who's future wife hadn't even been born at that time. And Tony Verdeschi, who'd supplied some of his disgusting beer for the post ceremony reception and had drunk so much of it because nobody else would that he'd passed out. Pete almost laughed out loud at the memory. Gone. Alan and Tony gone. Ngaio gone. Now there was only Jill...

Pete reminded himself that life with Ngaio hadn't always been perfect. There were difficult times when she was very depressed because she had trouble conceiving. Once they'd landed safely in the Loki system, it seemed to be the signal for every woman in the place to start to breed. There were pregnant women everywhere they looked, it seemed. But not Ngaio. It took five long years for her to conceive, but when she did... Oh, he remembered the look of joy on her face when she told him.

"You're going to be a daddy at last," she'd whispered, as they climbed into bed one night.

And he'd wept with joy.

The birth was a difficult one, and baby Kiri was torn from her mother with forceps after a long labour.

"She's worth it," was all Ngaio had said, after the baby was placed in her arms.

There should have been no more children and Pete blamed himself for not being more firm about the matter when Ngaio brought it up. But she'd wanted more. Wanted a son for him. So Neil was conceived, and his eventual birth had brought about Ngaio's death.

Pete's eyes filmed over with tears, as he remembered Helena Koenig leading him into her office and sitting him down, a look of pity on her face.

"I'm sorry," she'd said. "I'm so sorry."

What else could she say? Ngaio was gone. The love of his life was dead.

As he sat on the Eagle, Pete realised that when he really thought about marriage, he thought about Ngaio. That was a true marriage- a marriage of love. When he'd married Jill, it was more like a business partnership. She got what she wanted, namely him. He got companionship and a hell of a good bed partner, even if it came at a cost. Well, they'd been sleeping in separate beds for years now and she wasn't much of a companion any more. If they weren't both so old, he might even consider dissolving the partnership.

Pete put his coffee cup down and closed his eyes. It was going to be a long journey and he thought he'd better get some sleep.

* * *

Pete went aft and strapped himself in, as the young Lokian pilot prepared to bring the Eagle in for a landing at Koenigschafen. The trip down to the planet hadn't been as unpleasant as expected and he'd become quite friendly with the flight crew, regaling them with stories of his past flying exploits and telling them the tale of Breakaway from his viewpoint. At first he thought they were merely humouring an old man, but then he realised they really were interested. To them, he was a piece of living history. It made him feel even older than he actually was.

The planet had changed tremendously since his last visit. He'd heard the new administrator had installed a kind of station, and there was a track running from the launch site back to Dover now. Pete could see why people chose to live in this pioneering town. It was probably quite exciting, if one could get used to the open spaces.

"Dad," called Neil, running to greet him as he stepped down from the craft. "It's so good to see you!"

Before Pete knew it, Neil had him in a bear hug.

"Where are Layla and the kids?" he asked, pulling away from his son, but keeping his hands on his shoulders.

"Back at the apartment," grinned Neil. "They're busy cooking up a big meal for you."

Pete laughed and patted his round stomach.

"It's not like I starve up on Alpha, you know. We do have food, remember."

"Of course, but Jill..." began Neil.

There was an awkward silence, which Pete finally broke.

"No, Jill hates to cook, that's true. I do most of our meals myself."

"Are you sure you can only stay two weeks Dad?" asked Neil, picking up Pete's bags and leading him towards a little platform. In the distance, a small train was creeping up the track towards them.

Pete looked at his son and smiled.

"I've had five days of travelling Neil, and I've done quite a bit of thinking during that time. I can't really stay here longer than two weeks this time, but you can bet I'll be back very soon. There are others who can do my job on Alpha now, and I reckon I'm entitled to retire, and give myself a little more free time. Who knows, if I can get used to these damned open spaces I might even decide to move here one day. I'd like to see my grandkids grow up!"

Neil opened his mouth to ask about Jill, but saw the look on his father's face and closed it again.

"You know we'd love that Dad," he said, after a few minutes' thought. "And Dover could always do with a flight engineer of your experience, even if you are retired."

"Let's take it one day at a time during this holiday," smiled Pete, as the train pulled up. "Now tell me more about this wedding!"