Family Resemblance

By Ellen Lindow

Helena entered the primary classroom with Richie. He was holding her hand and practically pulling her through the door in his eagerness to start school. Now he would be a big kid, just like his brother and sister. He spotted his buddy, Billy Reilly across the room kneeling next to his mother by a shelf full of blocks and slipped out of his mother's grasp to join them.

Annette Fraser walked over to Helena with a smile. "Another eager one, I see."

"He can't wait to catch up to the big kids," Helena said. "So, are you looking forward to being with the little ones again?"

"Relieved, is more like it. When Jenna asked if she could move up with her class while I dropped back to pick up the little ones I felt like singing. I really didn't want to have Dinah in my class."

Helena nodded. She scanned the room, noticing that Richard and Billy were already building a tower together. Yasko's daughter was kneeling in front of a computer screen in one corner touching the different colored shapes and making them move. A little boy with silky dark hair sat on the floor nearby with a book in his lap. Two others ran past the boy and he looked up sharply. Something about the way he moved caught Helena's eye.

"Who's that?"

"That's Sarah Pulcher's little boy, Evan. He's the youngest in the class, but quite bright, and very well behaved. Sarah keeps a tight rein on him."

Helena nodded. She only vaguely remembered the child. Of course, he had been born a few months after Richard and she had been on light duty, more a paper pusher than a doctor, and spending more time at home with the children than at work. She and Sarah had never been more than passing acquaintances, so it wasn't too odd that she wouldn't have had much contact with Sarah or her son over the past few years. Helena looked over at Richie and tried to catch his eye to wave goodbye, but he was much more interested in the blocks. She smiled at Annette and wished her luck and headed for work. It would be her first full day of work in ages. John would be picking up the children this afternoon and she would meet them at home for dinner.

Medical Center was busy as usual. There was always plenty of work, both routine and unusual, scheduled and emergency. Just before lunch she sat at her desk and keyed in the code that would let her observe Richie's classroom. The children were all sitting in a circle listening to Annette read to them. All were intently watching their teacher. Richie had his back to the camera and was sitting tailor fashion with his elbows on his knees and his chin on his fists. Annette reached a spot where she looked up from the book and smiled and the children were all laughing. Evan Pulcher was sitting next to Annette and he smiled as his teacher looked down at him. Helena leaned back in her chair and stared at him. There was something...

She closed the connection and pulled up the boy's file. He was almost six months younger than Richard, and had been born nearly a month ahead of his due date. She scanned his file, a very healthy little boy, seen only for regular checkups, never any accidents or problems. No father was listed. Sarah had always been a bit of a loner. Helena remembered that John had once mentioned that Sara never could manage to speak to him in complete sentences. Something had convinced Helena that Sarah had a crush on John, but Sarah had never seemed to have the nerve to do anything about it. Lately John and Helena had been so caught up in the children and expansions on Loki and Alpha that Helena couldn't even remember the last time she'd seen Sarah. Helena punched in another code to reach more secure information and found... nothing. She frowned. Even though she was usually the one to enter the genetic information, while she was on maternity leave one of the other doctors should have done it. That information was necessary to Alpha's future. She knew all the doctors on her staff agreed. She backtracked through the file, found that all the regular tests had been performed and processed, but somehow there had been no follow-through. The data was there, it just had never been attached to Evan's file. That was odd.

With a few more steps, she performed the necessary security procedures to process the genetic information. She had devised a protocol that automatically moved genetic information into the most secure files possible. It took four levels of encrypted pass codes to access the data, and she was the only one with all four levels of clearance. The data was as safe as she could make it. Everyone had the right to their privacy but this database allowed Helena to make sure the children were as healthy as possible.

The computer didn't take long to process this data which should have been posted shortly after the child's birth. Helena sat back in her chair and stared at the information on the screen. She bit her bottom lip thoughtfully and sat very still, considering all the possibilities very, very carefully. She thought about the child she had seen this morning. She would probably never have looked for this information if she hadn't had some suspicion. She had yet to make up her mind about what to do next when the comm panel beeped for her. She looked up to see John's familiar, beloved smile. She couldn't help but smile back.

"Hello, beautiful. How about a quiet lunch for two?"

Her stomach did flip flops as she answered. "Meet me in our quarters in fifteen minutes."

John cocked his head to one side. "I like the words, but you're tone doesn't match my feelings."

Her smile was brief. "I need to talk to you about something. Our quarters would be the best place."

"I'll be right there." His tone was beginning to match hers, concerned and serious.

Helena transferred the file to her slate and left her office.

Helena was seated at the dinner table when John arrived. There was no lunch on the table, but her slate sat before her, and she seemed to be concentrating on the screen. She sat up straight and looked him in the eyes as he slid into the seat next to her.

He placed his hand over hers on the table. "What is it, my love?"

She didn't doubt the term of endearment, despite the information she had found. At the moment she was more puzzled than angry, although she rather thought she might be experiencing a bit of shock, and the hurt and anger would show up eventually. She laced her fingers with his.

"When I took Richie to school this morning, I noticed that Sarah Pulcher's little boy was in the same class. Have you seen him?"

John frowned. "Not that I can recall. In fact, Sarah has been working in the data area lately. I don't think I've seen her in..." he tried to remember. "months, maybe longer." He sighed. "She used to show up in my office, bringing me coffee, or reports, and just kind of stare at me. Then she transferred away from Main Mission, and I haven't seen her since. I did get a request the other day from her about an opening in the data section on Ceres-2. I approved it. Why, is there something wrong with the boy?"

Helena had watched him closely. The training she had received in psychology gave her good skills in reading body language, and her long association with John made her an expert in his reactions. He could never lie to her, and his answer was an open and honest one. "Not that I know of. Something about him just caught my eye. I took a look at his file when I got a chance this morning."

She watched her husband closely. "No father was listed," she said.

He sighed. "That's a shame. We have too many women here who want to have children, but not make a family with the father. Not one of the best things we brought with us from Earth."

"True. But sometimes it's for the best. Sometimes the father can't take an active role."

John shook his head. "I know that's the argument you gave when Eva Zoref wanted to have a child, and wanted to use donated sperm with complete confidentiality, so she didn't even know the father. I think we agreed to disagree about that one. Did Sarah do something similar?"

It was such an innocent question, and was asked so innocently. Was that what had happened? Helena had checked Sarah's file carefully, and found no evidence that anyone on her staff had done so. Donated sperm could have been used, but if that were the case, standard procedures for use of the sperm bank had definitely been circumvented.

She answered him obliquely. "I couldn't find the usual information in the boy's file. It turned out that all the proper tests had been carried out, but left in the computer under anonymous numbers rather than attached to the correct file. It should have been done automatically shortly after the boy's birth, but no one ever did it. I suppose it's my oversight, but Richie was just a baby, and I was spending as much time as possible with the children."

"Which was the right decision," John gently added. "We worked too hard to have the kids not to enjoy them when they were little. I was glad we were able to work things out so you could be at home with them as much as you have been."

She had taken home as much of the computer work as possible, and cut her patient load to the bare minimum, scheduling appointments at times when the children could be with John. She had also spent time in Medical Center after the children had gone to bed each evening. The schedule had been tough, but both she and John had considered it worth while. With Richie in school now, her schedule would match the children's and she had been looking forward to spending some evenings at home.

John was still holding her hand and she squeezed it tightly for a moment. "I corrected the problem in Evan's file and encrypted the information about his heritage as I have with the others."

"The boy's name is Evan? I kind of like that."

"But you need to see this." She turned the slate toward John so he could see the computer's information on the boy's parentage. She had never showed him confidential information before and he had never asked to see it. Even as she turned the slate she wondered if she should show him this.

He read through the screen carefully, unfamiliar with the layout, and taking longer than she would to absorb the data. "Wait a minute..." he said thoughtfully. "Helena, there's got to be something wrong here."

Helena shook her head. "It's accurate. Short of bringing the child in and performing the tests again, there's nothing wrong with the data."

"But, Helena..." He shook his head, then looked at her with shocked eyes. "I swear I..."

"He was conceived when I was seven months pregnant with Richie. You and I were barely speaking. On more than one occasion you stormed out of here at midnight and didn't come back until the next morning."

John stood and paced across the room. He turned quickly and looked back at her. She was looking at the table again, head bowed, almost looking as if she were in prayer. "You can't believe I..." he couldn't continue.

"I don't John. I honestly don't. Even when we were fighting the most I never thought you might be..." her voice broke a bit. "that you might be going to someone else."

She wiped her hand across the corner of her eye, trying desperately not to cry.

John moved back across the room and knelt by her. "Never, Helena. It never crossed my mind. Helena, you're my life. I wouldn't ever jeopardize what we have like that." He suddenly paled and rocked back on his heels. "Oh, my god!"

Helena bit back a sharp retort about forgetting an indiscretion. It wouldn't help anything. "What?"

"Two months before Richard was born?"

"That would be about right, maybe three."

"Take a look at my file from that time. Bob would have made an entry if he treated me for something."

"Treat you, for what?"

"Just look," John said impatiently. He stood and paced again while she called up the file.

Helena found the entry and read it. She looked up at John. "You never told me about this."

"On Earth it was called the 'date rape' drug," Helena said quietly. "You could slip it into someone's drink and have your way with them. They'd wake up the next morning without any clue what happened the night before. I wonder how she got it."

"Why would she do this?"

Helena shook her head, then she moved to sit next to her husband. She placed her hand on his shoulder. "This isn't your fault."

"And the little boy?"

"It certainly isn't his fault either."

"I've never even seen him that I can remember."

Helena stood and crossed to the computer screen. She called up the classroom's camera and waited. "There. That's him."

John came to stand beside her. A dark haired slender little boy was standing by a bookshelf. He turned and looked toward the teacher then responded to her gesture and took a seat at a desk. Helena felt John tremble next to her.

"What are we going to do?"

Helena sighed. "Nothing. If Sarah had wanted you to find out about him, she would have told you by now."

"But I'm his father." John said faintly.

Helena knew how important John's children were to him. He adored their three and spent as much time as possible with them. How could he not feel guilt at not treating this child the same way?

"How could telling him that help him?"

"What?"

"He seems to be a bright happy child. As you said, he's not the only one with no father. He's probably still young enough not to have even questioned that. If you decide to confront Sarah and insert yourself into his life, you'll only disrupt it. He will become an oddity, the Commander's bastard son. Pay attention to him and you will be accused of favoring him. Ignore him and you will be accused of neglecting him."

John put his arms around her, drawing comfort from her presence.

"Keep an eye on him. If he ever needs your help, be ready to give it. But don't disrupt his life just because you know who he is and what his mother has done. I expect she's asked to go to Ceres 2 because he's beginning to look quite a bit like you. Of course, everyone there knows you too, but Evan won't, and that's who she's protecting. Let Sarah have her child, and wish them happiness."

John nodded and bent down, leaning his head against her shoulder, but his eyes were on the little boy with the crooked smile who would must never know just how much his father loved him.

Ellen Lindow

July, 1999