Things Shared
By Amanda Russell
The coldness coming from John physically and emotionally overwhelmed Helena Russell. She took a deep breath and leaned against the wall while the door closed behind her. A sob caught in her throat and she realized – fully – that the man inside was not John Koenig, was not the man she loved and knew. Either something had happened to him on that asteroid, or… She didn’t even want to think about it. All she knew was that the man claiming to be John Koenig was not. Perhaps he was not even a man. The feel of his skin, the coldness… Helena knew instinctively he was not Koenig, but she had no proof. So, she would have to get proof and there were only two people on Alpha who suspected what was going on, who questioned ‘Koenig’s’ actions as she now did. Helena would search out Tony and May in the Psychon’s quarters. They had to be able to help!
Helena trembled as she sat at her station in Command Center. Never before had a confrontation with John – publicly or privately – taken so much from her, cost her so much control and willpower. She was now certain this being was not John Koenig. She didn’t know who or what he was, only that he had to be stopped. She had done all she could. She now hoped Tony and Maya would find some way to help Alpha while on that asteroid, or that someone here on Alpha, realizing what was happening – between ‘John’ and herself as well as to the base, would be able to stop him. Perhaps Alan, or Sandra. Helena didn’t know but accepted she could do more good backing down from this creature posing as John and staying in the Command Center than she could by being placed under sedation in the Medical Center.
Shivering, not so much from the cold as from what she was feeling, Helena clenched her hands and wrapped her arms around herself. She could only hope that somehow the real John – the one she loved – would return to his place – as Commander of Alpha and in her arms.
No longer caring what he might do to her, unable to sit quietly and watch Alpha die at the hands of this creature, Helena watched him shouting orders at Carter. Suddenly another voice – the same voice but from a different part of the Command Center – filled the awed silence and countermanded the orders. Helena’s gaze shot toward the other source of John’s voice and she knew he was back. She vaguely heard the alien’s excuses, her full attention on the man she knew to be the real John Koenig. Suddenly his attention was off the alien and directed at her.
“Helena, you can tell us apart. The things we’ve shared he can’t know.”
Her eyes locked with John’s, Helena stepped forward, her voice steady and calm.
“I need no other proof than his actions, John.”
Again the alien made excuses for his behavior, trying to use the relationship she had with John to his own advantage. He was clever, but she had told John the truth. His actions had proven to her that he was not John Koenig.
Suddenly the nose of the energy beam rose, only to end abruptly. The alien was gone, nothing more than a pile of debris on the Command Center floor. Helena met John’s gaze and saw in it an assurance that everything would be all right. Then she heard John taking Command again, ordering Alan to get Maya and Tony off that asteroid before it blew, asking for status reports and ordering that the remains of the alien be cleaned up and saved for Maya to examine when she returned. Helena moved back to her station and began an overall check of Alpha’s medical and life support situations. She felt John’s hands on her shoulders and realized she had been trembling. His touch was calming, soothing, reassuring and loving. When she turned to face him with her report, Helena was externally calm. She met John’s questioning gaze with a silent answer she would be all right for awhile, then retreated behind her professional mask.
“We lost three of the Life Support systems before the beam was cut. It will be several days to re-power and bring them up to full capacity, but there appears to be no permanent damage. Medically there were no severe injuries. Several cases of frostbite were reported, but Bob and Ben are handling them.”
John nodded, on hand still on her shoulder as he turned toward Sandra Benes.
“Sandra, put us on Energy Yellow Alert, giving priority to Life Support, Medical and Food/Water processing. Bring the heat up as quickly as safety allows.”
“Yes, Commander.”
The data analyst turned back to her station to do as he’d ordered. John let his gaze take in all the activity of the Command Center. Everyone seemed to be all right. His taking command immediately had given them the stability and assurance they needed and things were slowly returning to normal. It would be awhile before Alpha was again running at full power, but at least he knew it was possible.
Certain the immediate crisis was over, John turned back to Helena as her hand rested on his arm and she squeezed it gently.
“John, I’d like you to have a medical check…”
Knowing it was as much for Helena’s own peace of mind as it was for his welfare and the good of the base, John nodded his agreement.
“You’re right, Helena. Sandra, I’ll be in the Medical Center if you need me.”
“Yes, sir.”
Taking Helena’s elbow, John followed her out of the Command center. They were silent all the way to the Medical Center, neither wanting to say what needed to be said where others might overhear. When they entered the medical facility, Helena was relieved to see most everything under control. There were still a couple of patients waiting and as Bob finished with a water recycling tech, Helena called him over.
The doctor joined Helena and the Commander, a questioning look of concern in his eyes.
“Bob, I’ll take over here. I’d like you to give the Commander a full exam.”
The question in his eyes grew bigger and Helena smiled reassuringly at the doctor.
“It’s all straightened out, Bob. We just need to be sure John wasn’t harmed – in any way – down on that asteroid. Maya and Tony will also need to be checked when they return.”
“Of course, Helena. Ben said he’d like to see you as soon as possible, something about Life Support system three.”
“I’ll check in with him as soon as I can, Bob, thank you. John…”
Their gazes met briefly, John nodded, then followed Bob Mathias to an exam table while Helena turned her attention to two the two patients still awaiting treatment. Ben would have to handle it on his own until Mullens and Enloe were looked after.
Helena entered her office an hour later to find John waiting there. He was seated on the couch, eyes closed. She carefully sat next to him, not wanting to disturb him if he were asleep, but John’s eyes opened and he smiled, reaching for her hand.
“Bob wanted me to wait for the test results and I thought you might…”
Helena was moving into John’s embrace before he had time to even finish his sentence. Both felt some of the fear and confusion leave Helena as his arms went about her, and Helena felt herself finally begin to relax.
“Are you all right?”
“I think so, John.”
As memories of what nearly happened flashed through Helena’s mind, she began to tremble again with a delayed reaction. John’s eyes grew wide with concern and he held her away just long enough to meet her gaze and ask her to tell him what had happened, then he drew her into his embrace again, doing his best to make her feel safe.
Before she could reply, her office door buzzed and John released Helena as Bob entered with the results of Koenig’s tests.
“Commander,… Oh, Helena, I’m glad you are here, you should hear this as well. Commander, my exam and the test results indicate you were unharmed by your experience on the asteroid. All I found was a bruise on one shoulder that could be stiff and tender for a few days. Otherwise, you’re fine.”
John nodded as he heard Helena sigh with relief.
“That’s good to know, Bob.”
Matthias smiled.
“Anytime, Commander. I would recommend you try to get some extra rest over the next couple of days – that goes for both of you.”
Helena’s gaze darted to Mathias and she caught the twinkle in his eyes. He was well aware of what he had interrupted, and was also aware they were in need of some time alone with each other.
“Is that a medical order, Bob?”
His gaze went from Helena to Koenig, then back to Helena. After all he was their physician. He grinned.
“Yes, Doctor, it is.”
With that, Mathias turned and left Helena’s office. John smiled as Helena turned back toward him. He reached for her hand.
“Well, you heard the doctor…”
This time John was cut off by the bleeping of his commlock. He was needed in the Command Center for a time. Helena gave him a sad, tired smile and squeezed his hand.
“Go. I’ll be waiting when you’re done. I still have to check in with Ben anyway.”
The look in John’s eyes told Helena more than words ever could. She accepted his kiss then quietly watched as the door to her office closed behind him.
It had been a very long day and John Koenig was more than ready for some quiet time behind the closed doors of his private quarters. Since he’d left Helena in the Medical Center a few hours earlier, he’d had the chance to learn all that had gone on at the hands of the alien. After his return from the asteroid with Tony and Maya, Alan confessed that that – like almost everyone – he had accepted the alien mirror image as the real John Koenig. He’d been willing to believe it was John doing things for reasons known only to him. But as the being’s behavior grew more fanatical toward the end, Alan began to have his doubts. And when Helena Russell denounced the alien, had openly opposed the man everyone believed to be John Koenig and then backed down so suddenly – something she would not have done under the same circumstances were the real John Koenig in command – Alan had suddenly realized he was wrong; that the alien posing as John Koenig really was going to kill Alpha as Helena claimed.
This information explained so much to John, and he was anxious to see Helena, to learn first hand how she had known.
The door to his quarters opened and Koenig entered. He keyed in the privacy setting as the door closed behind him, and he moved further into the room. Helena looked up from where she sat curled up on the couch. She’d been sitting in near darkness, only the light on his desktop illuminating the room.
“Helena…”
Their gazes met as Koenig moved to sit beside her. She was in his arms again and he held her closely for a long time. When he felt her relax against him, John held her back a bit to meet her eyes.
“Will you tell me about it?”
Knowing that if anyone could calm her remaining fears it was this man, Helena nodded and sat forward.
“I knew something was wrong when you – he – first returned from that asteroid and wouldn’t let me touch him. I didn’t want to believe it, wouldn’t accept what my instincts – and my heart – were telling me. But when I did touch him, felt the inhuman texture and iciness of his skin… All I knew from then on was that it couldn’t be you. His actions were so contrary to your nature, your very being that… I had to do what I could to help Maya and Tony.”
“Alan told me how you stood up to him in the Command Center. I’d like to have seen that.”
Helena shook her head as she glanced down at their clasped hands, trying to appreciate John’s attempt at humor, but unable to just yet. It was too soon. She shuddered slightly.
“I can still feel the cold coming from him… Do you know what hurt the most, what really forced me to accept he wasn’t you?”
John shook his head as he reached up to caress Helena’s neck, to meet her gaze.
“No, what?”
“… He called me ‘Doctor Russell’ when we were alone together.”
Her voice trailed off as John slowly smiled his understanding. He hadn’t called Helena ‘Doctor Russell’ in private for years, even when they were arguing or angry with each other.
“… He just didn’t now anything about you.”
Their gazes met and John nodded, drawing Helena back into his embrace.
“And we’re all relieved he didn’t.”
He felt Helena nod against his shoulder. He could sense she was playing it all over again in her mind. She unexpectedly sat up and met his gaze, a look of… sudden realization in here eyes.
“What is it, Helena?”
“John, we’re going to be the talk of the base by morning.”
“What are you talking about, Helena?”
“When you were trying to make everyone in Command Center see you were the real John Koenig…”
“I told them the truth about the switching of the jackets and the…”
“And you said to me ‘The things we’ve shared he can’t know.’ As soon as that gets out…”
John shook his head and tried not to chuckle as he placed a loving kiss on Helena’s mouth and once again met her gaze.
“Helena, everyone on the base knows how we feel about one another. How can one innocent statement make a difference?”
“Because no one will interpret it as innocent, John. ‘The things we’ve shared’ will provide gossip for weeks to come.”
John looked into Helena’s eyes, unable to keep from smiling. It might be interesting to hear what people came up with.
“So?”
“John, don’t you care that we’ll…”
“No, not really, because the truth is the only thing that matters. And the truth is that no one can know what we have shared – what we will share.”
Helena nodded her agreement and met John’s gaze again, then moved closer to him, her hand coming up to rest on his chest. Her eyes grew soft and her voice slightly deeper.
“Does that include tonight?”
John’s answer was to draw Helena close so their mouths could meet gently. Helena sighed and relaxed in John’s arms, content to let the evening become one of many they shared that no one else could ever know.
Amanda Russell
April 9, 1987
Revised December 9, 2007