Destiny Fulfilled
by Ellen C. Lindow

   "I just don't like it. I think it's dangerous." Helena Russell leaned over her dinner tray toward John Koenig who sat across the table from her. She was close to losing her temper.
   Koenig pushed the food around his tray without showing any enthusiasm for eating it. "I can't see why you're so against it. He saw something out there, and it affected him, and he wants to discuss it in a public forum. What harm is there in that?"
   "Proselytizing a religious experience? I don't think we need that kind of complication here on Alpha." The whole incident made Helena uncomfortable. Eagle Pilot Bruce Donovan had been on a routine patrol mission. Power had been lost to the ship through a technical breakdown. Contact had been lost. By the time a rescue mission had been sent, Bruce had identified the problem and corrected it. But he had also returned a changed man. His demeanor exhibited a new found serenity and confidence. He spoke of destiny, his own personal destiny, and that of Alpha. He spoke positively about their future and their life here on Alpha. There was absolutely nothing that could be considered wrong with him.
   "Helena, we have no right to --" Koenig cut short as the dining room doors opened and a handful of Alphans just off of first shift entered. Koenig and Russell had met for an early supper. She was scheduled to work the second shift this week in Medical Center. As Commander, Koenig usually worked first shift. Then continued to work on paperwork, or meetings after dinner. He and Helena usually tried to find time for dinner together, even though both were on call 24 hours a day and it was not uncommon for one or the other to be interrupted or called away. "This isn't the time or place for this discussion," he abruptly halted the argument and turned to concentrate on his food.
   Alan Carter set he tray next to Koenig's and joined the pair. "So are you two going tonight?"
   Helena glared at him and gave the icy reply. "I'm on duty." She finished the last of her baked apples and prepared to leave. Koenig was no more forthcoming and stood before she did, despite the fact that his food was practically untouched. "I haven't decided yet." He turned to Helena, "I'll see you later." Then he turned and left abruptly.
   "Was it something I said?" Alan asked Helena jokingly.
   She smiled ruefully, "Just bad timing. I've got to get to work."

   Koenig walked quickly down the corridor, headed for the quarters he had shared with Helena for the past several years. He had again become nauseous as soon as he had begun to eat and hoped he could make it to his quarters before he got sick. He didn't want to worry Helena, but for several weeks now, he'd been struggling to keep food down, and was becoming concerned. He promised himself that he would talk to Bob Mathias tomorrow. Since he and Helena had become personally involved, Mathias had been his physician.
   He was relieved that the argument with Helena had been interrupted. He simply didn't have the energy to continue it. They worked hard to keep their personal and professional lives as separate as possible here on Alpha, although sometimes he wondered if he had a personal life. They had left Earth nearly six years before and clung to life on their runaway moon, but could not be said to thrive on their small base on and below the lunar surface. He had begun to think they had only a half-hearted existence here and was not sure he even wanted to continue to fight for life. He thought about Bruce Donovan, who seemed truly happy, a rare commodity on Alpha. When Bruce had asked for permission to hold a meeting, he had also invited Koenig, who had considered it, despite Helena's misgivings; but right now, he only wanted some time alone. He was glad Helena had late duty tonight as he escaped into the solitude of his quarters.

   A few hours later, Bruce Donovan welcomed twenty curious Alphans to his meeting and amazed them with his energy and positive message. Being told that Alpha could be a great place to live was not what they had expected to hear. They left the meeting smiling and agreeing with the points he had made. One remained behind, sitting on the front row, waiting patiently to be noticed. Bruce came to join her as the others filed out.
   "Well, Sahn, what did you think?" he asked the petite data analyst.
   She smiled wistfully at him. "You make it sound so easy Bruce, to make Alpha a home."
   "It is Sandra, it can be."
   "A lot of us left behind people we loved. Peter and I, we had planned to be married. Another two months..."
   "He's lived his life, Sahn. And we deserve the chance to do the same. There's a reason we're here, we may not know what it is yet, but we have to be ready for that destiny when we find it."
   She nodded, wanting to believe him, yet reluctant to give up her past life and dreams.
   "Are you hungry?" Bruce asked her. "I was too nervous to eat before."
   She stood with a genuine smile. "You didn't look nervous."
   "I was," he assured her as they left the small theater together.

   Shortly after the hour designated as midnight, Helena Russell entered her quarters. Noting that Koenig was asleep, she dimmed the lights and slipped quietly into the bathroom to shower and change into a well worn nightgown. Returning to the bedroom, she found Koenig awake and watching her. She sat on the bed next to him with a smile. He took her hand and kissed it. She touched his lips with her fingertip.
   "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I shouldn't have snapped at you. As long as nobody is forcing me to attend his meetings, I suppose I should try to be more tolerant."
   "It's okay," he accepted her apology. "I'm not really sure you can call this a religion, though."
   "That's what it looks like he's trying to make it. I already have religious beliefs, and don't care to trade them in on new ones. I've know Bruce a long time. The changes in him scare me."
   Koenig sighed. "He hasn't been any trouble, and he isn't asking for anything out of the ordinary. I don't need anyone thinking I would even consider censoring anyone's religious views."
   Helena nodded, she looked at her hands, clasped in her lap, her fingers entwined with John's. She wore a band of gold on her right hand, not her left. It was the symbol of the vows she had exchanged with her late husband, in her church, on Earth, so many years ago. Here on Alpha, she and John knew their commitment to Alpha and their survival came first, even before their love for each other. Koenig touched the silver cross that always hung on a chain around her neck. "In all the years we've been together, we've never really talked about religion before." He hesitated before continuing. "Helena, do you really believe we'll go -- someplace else, after we die.?"
   She didn't hesitate and her conviction surprised him. "Yes, I do," she stated firmly. "I don't know what it'll be like, or how much it will relate to this life, but I'm sure we'll continue, somehow." She smiled sheepishly. "I'm not sure I'm brave enough to cope with this life without that belief."
   He pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly. "I think you're very brave. And I believe that we'll manage to cope with whatever life manages to throw at us, together. And heaven must be something like the way I feel when I hold you."
   "Flatterer," she smiled and kissed his neck. "Don't be sacrilegious."
   "Never," he confirmed, reaching to turn out the light. He fought down another wave of nausea, and held her close, and they both drifted off to sleep.

   Koenig still didn't want to disturb Helena, when nausea overcame him again a few hours later, but was relieved to feel her hand against his forehead when she knelt by his side in the bathroom. "Drink this," she said firmly.
   He shook his head, his stomach cramping again. "Can't."
   "Do it," she insisted calmly. "It'll help, I promise." She was most persuasive, and supported him as she put the cup to his lips. He managed to gulp a bit of overly sweet tasting liquid, which did seem to help. He sat back weakly as the cramps subsided and she helped him take a couple more swallows. Then he caught his breath and accepted her help cleaning up.
   "Let me get my uniform on," she said, helping him back to bed. "I've called Bob, and he's going to meet us in Medical."
   "I'm okay now," he protested weakly.
   "No, you're not," she contradicted calmly, continuing to dress and tossing him a robe. "Your choices are: walk there with my help, or I call a med team with a stretcher and you ride there in restraints if necessary.
   The stretcher actually sounded tempting, but he accepted her first offer. "I'll walk." He pulled on his robe and stood unsteadily. She was at his side immediately and allowed him to set the pace.
   Bob Mathias was ready and waiting for them when they arrived at Medical Center. Helena stayed nearby, but allowed the other doctor to examine his patient without interference. She watched the monitors and tests Bob ran, but kept the opinions to herself.
   Upon completion of his exam, he asked, "How do you feel now, John?"
   "Exhausted, slightly nauseous, but better since Helena gave me that medicine."
   "Good. I need to get the results of these tests. In the meantime, I want you to get some sleep. You can either sleep here, or I can have Helena give you a sedative once you get back to your quarters."
   He glanced at Helena, then chose. "I'd rather sleep in my own bed. What do you think it is, an ulcer?"
   "I'm not going to jump to any conclusions. It's almost 4 a.m. This sedative should put you out until noon. Come back when you wake up. I'll let Command Center know you're on sick leave for the day."
   Koenig nodded his acceptance. Mathias motioned Helena to come with him for the sedative. As they entered the supply room. Helena turned to him. "Bob-," she began.
   He held up a hand to stop her. "I know you saw the same things I did, and I know what you're thinking. That's why I'm fixing two doses of this." He handed her the sedative. "Give him one, you take the other. Don't worry about it, or even think about it until I've had time to do the blood work. Make sure he eats something bland when he wakes, then both of you return here. We'll discuss it when we have all the facts."
   Helena nodded reluctantly. Technically, she was Mathias' boss, but he was also her doctor as well as John's, and she knew he was right. She would be of more help to John after a good night's sleep, but she doubted the sedative could stop the nagging fears she was beginning to feel.

   When Koenig woke up, he was alone. It was shortly after noon, and there was a tray of food on the table waiting for him. A note on a piece of red plastic rested on the top of the insulated tray, telling him that Helena had awakened and gone to Medical Center, he was to eat and join her there. The food didn't look very appetizing, nor was he hungry, but he ate it and dressed.
   He found Helena and Mathias in her office, Bob stood behind her chair so they could both see the computer screen. Koenig watched them for a moment through the glass walls. Both appeared engrossed in the information they were reading. Helena was making notes on a transparency pad. She looked up and noticed Koenig standing outside the office. As usual, her first reaction was to smile at him. He returned the smile and entered the office. She used her commlock to close the door behind him and motioned for him to pull up a chair.
   Bob also took a chair and Koenig could tell from the atmosphere in the room that they had a serious problem.
   "Did you eat the breakfast I left you?" Helena asked.
   "Yes ma'am," he said, glad now that he had choked it down. To his surprise she seemed disappointed.
   She looked at Bob. "That resolves that issue. We'll schedule everything for tomorrow morning."
   Bob nodded his agreement then turned to Koenig. Koenig could see now that Helena was in this conversation more as CMO than family member. "The tests have turned up a problem. We're hoping we can resolve it fairly quickly."
   "What kind of problem?"
   "There's a mass of tissue attached to the lining of your stomach. We've also detected a type of bacteria in your gastric tract that is associate with cancerous growths."
   "Cancer?" He looked at Bob and Helena. "Is this from some kind of radiation exposure?"
   Helena shook her head. "No. Various types of cancer are caused by many different things. In this case, we believe it's caused by a bacterial infection which you picked up years ago. Our tests show you have a strain of bacteria called helicobacter pylori living in your stomach. The infection is frequently asymptomatic, often for years, but if its untreated it can be a factor in producing malignant tumors.
   "How did I catch it?"
   "It's not common in the United States, but you spent some time in Latin America after the war. You most likely picked it up there."
   Bob added, "Certain ethnic groups are also known to be more susceptible to develop cancer in the presence of h. pylori. Your parents were from Russia weren't they?"
   "Why wasn't this detected before?"
   Helena sighed. "The connection between h. pylori and gastric cancer was made about five years before we left Earth. Existence of h. pylori does not automatically indicate cancer, and the World Health Organization decided it wasn't feasible to do widespread testing. It can be treated, but testing on a widespread basis was considered too expensive for the outcome. You've been asymptomatic for nearly twenty years, there was no reason to test for it, even if you were in an area where you could have been exposed to it."
   "Is it contagious?" John asked. He was stunned by the seriousness of this, but concern for Alpha still reigned.
   Bob responded, "Yes, but not extremely. I've already given Helena a blood test, and if needed we can treat the h. pylori infection with several standard antibodies, as we will with yours. We can also test everyone else on Alpha, but Helena is the one most likely to be infected."
   "And will she have a chance of getting cancer later?"
   "Not once we've cleared the infection, if she is infected. The risk of contracting cancer decreases almost immediately once the h. pylori are gone."
   Koenig stood and began to pace the small office. He was appalled that he might have inadvertently passed an illness on to Helena and others. Especially something that was treatable and preventable. "And what kind of treatment do you have in mind for me?"
   "We want to schedule surgery right away to take care of the tumor," Bob explained. "We'll treat the h. pylori with antibiotics, that's a separate issue. But we need to examine the tumor and remove it immediately. We'll schedule surgery for the first thing in the morning, and go from there. You can go to work this afternoon, get a good night's sleep tonight, then come back here around 7 a.m. tomorrow. Plan for at least three days recovery time." Bob turned to Helena. "I'd like you to assist, Helena. Can you ask Ben or Ed to cover for you tonight?"
   She nodded. "I'll take care of the arrangements." She gave John a serious steady gaze. "John, none of us are trained in oncology, but you can be sure we're making every effort to learn all we possible can about this. Fortunately, Alpha was a mirror site for Med-Lib, the medical library database, so we have as complete a database of medical treatments and theories as possible."
   "After the surgery," he asked. "I'll be okay?"
   "We won't know that until after we've tested the tumor and seen the extent of the growth," Helena replied cautiously. "We're going to hope that other organs haven't been affected as well." She looked down at her desk, unable to meet his eyes. "Once the cancer has spread, there's not any effective treatment that we can find."
   He stopped pacing and leaned against the office wall, amazed, and unable to believe what she seemed to be telling him. Although to anyone else, she would appear to be the picture of a detached professional, he knew that's not the way she felt. "Bob, if that's the case, how long would I have left?"
   "We don't know that it is," Bob replied, still cautiously, hoping for the best. "And without knowing the extent -- well, it could be from six months to a year."
   Koenig nodded. His thoughts came rolling through, too fast for him to express them aloud. He could almost feel Helena's misery, but couldn't find a way to comfort her; not here, or now. He did reach out and take her hand. She gripped his fingers with her own, but neither trusted themselves to look at the other. "I need to get to work. Any further instructions for tomorrow?"
   Bob spoke softly, very aware of the couple's pain. "No food after 7 pm, and nothing to drink after midnight. Be here at 7 a.m. tomorrow."
   Koenig nodded, then released Helena's hand and left the room. Helena remained still, staring at the notepad on her desk without focusing on it. Bob commented, "He doesn't have to work this afternoon. Neither of you do."
   "Yes," Helena said in a distant voice. "He does. I think we both need to."

   Koenig had always used work as a method of escaping. He wanted to be busy. Keep his mind occupied, do something. He knew Tony Verdesschi could handle any problems that came up in a couple of days, but if it was for longer than that -- well, Koenig had a lot of things to think about. He headed for his office next to the Command Center. It was a small office compared to the one he had used before, and just after, they left Earth. There was a desk with a bank of computer monitors against one wall, and a couple of extra chairs to allow for private conversations away from Command Center.
   "Commander Koenig!"
   The call broke his reverie and he turned before entering his office. Bruce Donovan was hurrying down the corridor toward him. "I was just in Command Center. They said you were ill and wouldn't be coming in today."
   "Hello, Bruce. That's mostly true, but there were a few things that needed my attention."
   "I just wanted to thank you -- for okaying last night. It meant a lot to me. And I think it did to the people who came, too."
   "I'm glad things worked out well for you."
   "Do you think it would be all right if we met, regularly? Once a week or so?"
   "There shouldn't be a problem. Just schedule it through Computer so it doesn't conflict with another group."
   "Sure. Perhaps you can come next time?"
   "Perhaps." Koenig ended the conversation by turning away and entering his office.

   Koenig opened his eyes following the operation to find Helena sitting patiently next to his bed. He smiled at her. "Hi."
   "Hi, yourself. How do you feel?"
   "I don't know yet. How am I supposed to feel?"
   Her look spoke volumes, and she didn't have to speak for him to know the outcome of the operation. She sighed and gave him the details. "Bob removed a portion of your stomach and the tumor. It was malignant. There were indications that the liver and pancreas have also been affected."
   He reached out for her hand and held it tightly. The recovery area of Medical Center was deserted. John knew that Helena had arranged that to give the two of them a little bit of privacy.
   "Now what?" he asked quietly.
   "We haven't given up yet. We've found several different types of chemotherapy, that have had some success. We've already begun synthesizing the drugs and Bob will begin that regimen as soon as you've sufficiently recovered from surgery."
   She leaned forward and kissed him softly. "I don't want to lose you."
   "I don't intend for you to." Koenig replied, caressing her cheek. "What about you? What did your blood test show?"
   "I show no signs of infection. We'll schedule a re-test for a few months from now to make certain, and check everyone else on Alpha as part of their next routine physical."
   "Good." He knew he would have to discuss with her the plans he had put into motion the day before, but not yet. Perhaps the chemotherapy would work, but he knew Alpha would need to prepare if he could not overcome the cancer. For the moment, he simply wanted to rest and know that Helena was close by. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

   After three months of different treatments, he was well aware of the fact that his condition had not improved. Some of the medicines had made him more ill than the tumor had. One treatment left him groggy and irritable, constantly in need of sleep, yet unable to truly rest. Each new regimen seemed to result in weight loss, and he never seemed to be able to gain any weight back. Exercise had also become difficult. He had continued his twice weekly Kendo workouts until Sandra had used a counter blow that had slapped his left wrist and broken it. The bone was slow to heal. Bob said it was due to the medicines he was taking.
   He did not allow his health to effect the way he ran the base. He still put in long hours, and a majority of the Alphans had no idea how seriously ill he was. Tony Verdeschi knew as did Alan Carter and Sandra Benes. Both Alan and Sandra attended Bruce Donovan's weekly meetings. Koenig usually sat with them. Helena still felt uncomfortable with these meetings and Koenig never discussed them or his attendance with her. The meetings gave them hope, and made him feel better. Over fifty Alphans attend the meetings now, some more regularly than others. They sought ways to make Alpha more of a home. Several attendees had chosen to marry, and asked Donovan to officiate. Helena attended the weddings at his side and kept her opinions to herself.
   It was Bruce who came to him in private one day and discussed the possibility of children on Alpha. Koenig first simply replied that it was out of the question, but Bruce asked that he at least consider it, and gave good arguments for it, including the immediate effects on morale, and the long term benefits of having a younger generation who could be trained to run Alpha as the original Alphans aged.
   "We barely have the resources to maintain our own lives, Bruce, how can we possible condemn children to this existence?"
   "Surely a few children would not put an immediate strain on our resources. And if we can survive for another five or ten years, there's no telling what we might find to improve our living conditions."
   Koenig knew it was unlikely that he personally would survive that long. He decided to discuss it with Helena, who surprised him by agreeing with Bruce. As part of her duties as head of Life Support, she had fully researched the capacity of their systems. Although there were certain components that needed to be replaced, or perhaps re-designed, she had several ideas to improve life support's facilities using available materials. Late that evening, after the talk he'd had with Bruce, they discussed the situation in their quarters. Helena showed him computer files of facts, figures, projections and proposals.
   "You seem to have this all worked out, Helena. I'm impressed."
   "I was planning to talk to you about this anyway, John. I know conditions aren't ideal, and a lack of certain vital supplies could still spell sudden death for us, but I think the benefits outweigh the problems. I don't see us being able to support more than five additional children per year, as conditions stand now, but Bruce is right, things could change for the better."
   "And how would we decide who gets the chance to have children?"
   "At first I don't think it would be a problem. Not everyone is willing to take a chance here with the life of a child, but a few women have asked about it, and would be willing to try."
   Koenig stood and paced around the room. The two tried not to discuss business in their quarters, but this discussion was the perfect opportunity to broach a subject Koenig had been reluctant to speak of with Helena.
   He stopped pacing next to the shelf that held a small piece of sculpture she had made for him. He touched it softly, unable to face her. "Even if we started this today, I won't be here to see the first child born."
   She remained seated on the sofa, looking at the folder in front of her. "I know," she replied quietly.
   "We need to make plans for what will happen after I'm gone."
   She shifted uncomfortably on the sofa, but did not respond.
   "I need to choose the next Commander; make sure I've passed on everything I can, make sure everyone here knows that the transition will be as smooth as possible."
   "Tony knows about--"
   "Tony knows," he interrupted. "But Tony won't be my successor. He's too impulsive." He turned to face her. "Alan isn't right for the job either. I've talked to both of them about this, and they agree with me."
   She looked up at him, puzzled.
   "It should be you, Helena."
   "No," she stood and crossed the room toward him. "John, don't even think it. I have a job here."
   "Which Bob Mathias can easily handle. Helena, you've been my closest advisor for years. You know my job as well as I do. You know the kinds of tough decisions I have to make, and you have experienced the struggle of making life and death decisions."
   "Please, John. Not me. There has to be someone else."
   "No one who could do the job as well as you. You'll have the full support of Tony, Alan, Maya and the rest of the command staff." He put his hands on her shoulders. "You have to do this."
   Tears streamed down her face. "Losing you, and having to take on this? I can't"
   "You will, because you have to." He put his arms around her, "I have faith in you. I know you can do it."
   She rested her head against his chest, listening to his heart beat. "All I've wanted, for a long time now, was to be your wife, and maybe have a family together."
   He laid his cheek against her golden hair. "All I can do is make you a widow, again, my love."
   "The pain won't be any less, married or not."
   The reasons they had not married before seemed meaningless now. They'd wanted to wait, find a new home, use all their energies toward that goal, and put Alpha's survival above their personal happiness. He pushed her back so he could look into her green eyes, now reddened from crying. "Then let's get married, and enjoy what little time we have left. We could have Bruce marry us tomorrow night, and announce at the same time that we're planning to train you as my replacement."
   She stiffened at the mentioned of Bruce's name, but nodded her agreement, wondering how she had let him talk her into this.
   The following evening, as many Alphans as could fit in the cafeteria were there to celebrate their Commander's wedding to their Chief Medical Officer. Although the atmosphere was upbeat, there was an undercurrent of seriousness. Eva Sanderson took Helena aside for a moment.
"I wanted you to know, Helena, the Commander talked to Greg last week. You have our support 100%."
   "Thanks, Eva. I appreciate it, but I'm hoping to put that off as long as possible."
   "I understand." Eva glanced across the room at the groom who was laughing and talking with Alan Carter and Bruce Donovan. "Is there any hope of a cure or remission?"
   Helena shook her head. "No, none of the drugs we've tried have worked, and the cancer is spreading. There's not much time left." Helena changed the subject. "Eva, you had asked about having a child. We're considering allowing some children to be born. Would you like to come by Medical Center tomorrow, and we'll discuss it."
   Eva responded with surprise. "You know I'd love to, but shouldn't you be on your honeymoon?"
   "Well," Helena smiled. "Getting John to take a day off has always been difficult."
   "Make him take the day off, Helena. I'll talk to you in a couple of days." Eva left her with a smile and a hug.

   Over the next three months Helena spent less and less time in Medical Center, and more time in Command Center or accompanying John in meetings and around the base. Their position in space had remained stable, no space warps, no star systems nearby. Long range scans indicated no change in the situation for the foreseeable future.
   Koenig was noticeably unwell, still losing weight, usually nauseous and frequently exhausted from small exertions. He was pleased to see that everyone seemed to be adjusting well to the transition. He sometimes became ill suddenly, and would leave Helena to cope with whatever situation was at hand. The others appeared to accept her decisions readily. Remembering the time he had nearly died in an Eagle crash, and awoke to find them at each other's throats, he was relieved.
   Mathias had urged him to get more rest so he began returning to his quarters to rest in the afternoon, leaving Helena in charge in Command Center. He would usually return about the time the first shift ended, and they would work together in his office for a few hours before dinner and retiring to their quarters for the night.
   One evening a week he would attend Bruce Donovan's meeting. He generally left the meeting feeling better than he'd felt all week. He thought it must be the chance to hear a positive message and feel like one of the group instead of always being the one in charge, a part of the group, but still separated by responsibility. Bruce had a knack for making everyone feel welcome, always greeting everyone with a handshake and a kind word. He genuinely believed that he and everyone on else had a particular destiny to fulfill.
   He awoke one afternoon to find Helena Russell entering their quarters with two supper trays. "Did I oversleep?" he asked, sitting up.
   "No. First shift is just ending," she answered, smiling. "I took off a little early."
   She walked toward the bed, but paused at the open closet. "Why are your uniforms mixed in with mine?" she asked, lifting a black sleeve. As soon as she touched it, she realized it was smaller than his.
   Koenig got out of bed and joined her. "I had them made for you."
   She leaned against him, staring at the new uniforms, but unable to say anything. She swallowed and tried to find something to say. "They won't fit me."
   "They should, they're the same size as your other ones."
   "No, they won't," she shook her head, trying not to cry, but not succeeding. "I'm pregnant."
   He took her shoulders and turned her to face him. "Are you sure?"
   She nodded, and smiled at him through her tears. "I just came from Medical Center."
   He could only stare at her and grin. "That's terrific!"
   "I thought we could celebrate." She glanced at the trays she had brought in and placed on the table.
   "I guess my timing was off," he said, holding her close.
   Eyes closed, cheek against his chest, she sighed. "No, not really." Then she looked up with a twinkle in her eyes, "But you could have closed the closet door."
   Koenig laughed and reached out to do just that, continuing to hold her close, and leaning down to kiss her.

   After another two months, Helena's pregnancy was quite evident. She still wore a white sleeved tunic, one cut with plenty of room in front, and no belt. Koenig was spending more time in Medical Center than Helena. Several vital organs were damaged by the cancer now, and he was in constant pain. Helena wished she could be with him more, but knew her responsibility lay in keeping Alpha running.
   She arrived to visit him late one evening. The lights in Medical Center were dimmed, Koenig was the only patient in residence this evening. He lay still, eyes closed, monitors above quietly displaying his condition. Even from across the room she could read the seriousness of his condition. Bruce Donovan sat next to him. While Helena watched quietly, Bruce reached out and took Koenig's hand. He bent over, as if in prayer. Helena watched the monitors change before her eyes. John's vital signs became more stable, indications of pain levels decreased. Helena slipped quietly into her old office and pulled up the monitors on John's bed, both video and telemetry. She sat and watched his vital signs steadily improve for nearly an hour. Then Bruce slumped back in his chair, breaking contact with Koenig. He sighed and shook his head. Koenig slept on, his vital signs again showing decline.
   Helena left her office and joined Bruce beside Koenig's bed. Checking first to ensure her husband's undisturbed rest, she touched Bruce on the shoulder. He looked up, exhausted and shaken, startled at her arrival.
   "What did you do?" she asked quietly.
   "What I must. I've come every evening, but it's not enough." He leaned forward and put his face in his hands. "He shouldn't be dying. It's not right."
   "Bruce, I don't want it to happen either, but--"
   "No, it's not right!" he stood and walked away from her. "It's not that you won't be a good commander, but you're not supposed to, you shouldn't have to. I can feel it."
   "Feel what?" She took a step towards him, hands outstretched. "Make me understand."
   He cast around, searching for the words, but not finding them. "It's not his destiny. You've got to believe me. I can see it!"
   He looked desperate and agitated. Helena ahead had her doubts about Bruce's stability lately, but had never believed him violent or dangerous. Now she began to winder.
   "If I had help..." he looked around as if the help he needed, whatever it was, would step forward. He looked at Helena, then at her enlarged belly. "No," he turned, seeming to reject any help from her. "Too dangerous," he muttered.
   "Bruce," she said, trying to calm him before they awakened Koenig. "You know I'd do anything to help John. But there's nothing left for us to do. We have to accept this, just like we accepted leaving Earth."
   He moved toward the door. "You don't understand," he repeated shaking his head.
   He left before she could move to stop him. She considered calling security, but knew she had no reason to detain him.    "Let him go," Koenig said quietly.
   "I thought you were asleep."
   "Half asleep," he replied, reaching for her hand.
   She sat next to him, pulling the chair closer.
   "He makes me feel better. I know he's not healing me, but the pain is more bearable after he leaves ... for a while."
   "But how --"
   "I'm not sure I care, Helena. I just know it works."
   She shifted in the chair, her second trimester was barely begun, yet she was already having a hard time finding a comfortable position to sit in. He placed his hand over the baby, smiling at the endless motion he could feel inside her. "Does he always kick like that?"
   "Constantly. He's going to be quite a soccer player."
   He closed his eyes, still smiling. He savored the quiet time together they had so rarely. "If you name him John', I'll come back and haunt you."
   "Then you better start suggesting some alternatives."
   The two spent time suggesting and rejecting names, until Helena began to yawn, and Koenig suggested she go. "After all, Helena, I can sleep all day, you can't." She agreed reluctantly, knowing how little time they had remaining.
   She was tired, and sleep came quickly. She had been asleep for several hours when she woke to the sound of alarms -- Medical Emergency, all teams to Medical Center. Up and dressed in seconds from long practice as well as fear that something had happened to John, she met both Bob Mathias and Ben Vincent in the corridor outside Medical Center.
   "Who was on duty?" she asked over the noise of the sirens.
   "Jeremy Devers," Ben replied. The young med tech frequently took the third shift, using the quiet time to study the medical texts that Helena and Bob provided him. He would be a good doctor some day. "I was on call. The doors are locked and neither of our commlocks will open them."
   Helena lifted her own commlock. "Computer, command override Russell Alpha Delta One', acknowledge."
   "Acknowledged," came the computer's unhurried reply.
   "Cancel alarms and override the door locks to Medical Center, priority one."
   "Acknowledged," the voice echoed into the sudden silence. The doors opened immediately, allowing the three doctors and the rest of their medical teams access to their workplace.
   Helena rushed to the corner of Medical where Koenig was lying peacefully in bed. Scattered on the floor around his bed were a dozen unconscious and barely conscious Alphans, including Bruce Donovan, Sandra Benes, Alan Carter, and Jeremy Devers. Jeremy held a commlock in his hand, his finger on the emergency button.
   The first person Helena reached was Sandra Benes. She bent to check her, and couldn't find a pulse. As she called for a stretcher, Helena's medical teams organized and began to move the most critical among the group to beds to receive treatment. Bob knelt beside her briefly as she began examining Sandra. "John's okay," he spoke quickly, knowing Helena would want to know. Then he moved on at Helena's nod.
   Sandra's condition was extremely serious, and Helena quickly found herself performing open heart surgery. Jeremy Devers joined her team, looking pale but determined. Alpha's heart-lung machine had undergone numerous repairs and modifications over the years and Jeremy was the technician who had the most familiarity with it.
   "Are you okay, Jeremy?" Helena asked without taking her attention away from the operation.
   "I'm fine," he replied.
   "Take Carl's place, then. We're going to have a long talk about your part in this later, Jeremy."
   "Yes ma'am."
   Helena's operating team was the best, and they had years of practice perfecting their teamwork. Whatever Sandra had experienced had placed tremendous pressure on her heart, causing a rupture in one chamber and internal bleeding. Only the fact that she had collapsed in Medical Center, and the medical team was able to begin treating her almost immediately gave her any chance at all.
   After six hours of surgery, and ten pints of blood, she was stabilized, and Helena was on the point of exhaustion. Helena stepped back, allowing her team to take Sandra to intensive care. Mathias was at her side immediately, handing her a cup and urging her to drink. It was a strawberry-kiwi milkshake, her favorite, but tasted different. "Is there banana in this?" she glared at him.
   "Yes, it's good for you, drink it." He took her elbow and drew her toward the office.
   She took another gulp of milkshake, grimaced, and asked, "How are the others?"
   "Jeremy was the least affected. He seemed to merely be unconscious. The others were suffering from various forms of stress induced pressure. It seemed to effect each person differently. Alan Carter has two burst eardrums and showed signs of clots in his bloodstream, he's reacting well to anticoagulants, four show signs of a mild stroke, four others were merely unconscious. Bruce Donovan is dead."
   "Cause of death?"
   "Undetermined as yet, we haven't had time to perform an autopsy."
   She opened the door to her office, wanting very much to sit down. Her center of gravity was not where she was used to it being, and leaning forward to perform the operation had strained every muscle in her body. Koenig was standing in her office, dressed in his uniform looking more fit then she had seen him look in months.
   "What are you doing here?"
   Bob replied, "I needed his bed for someone who was really sick."
   "How's Sahn?" Koenig asked.
   "She'll be all right, but it was a close call, and she'll have a long recovery period. How are you.?"
   Sandra's status relieved him. He grinned. "I'm fine."
   "No cancer, no signs of damage to any internal organs." Bob added.
   "He's in remission?" She took John's hands and gratefully let him lead her to her chair behind the desk. The chance to sit down was pure heaven.
   "He's healed. There is no sign of the damage done by the cancer at all."
   Koenig sat on the corner of her. "I went to sleep right after you left, and halfway woke when Bruce returned, he told me to go back to sleep, and talked to me quietly until I did. When I woke up, all hell had broken loose in Medical Center, I heard you ordering an OR be prepared for Sandra, and everyone else on your staff working to revive someone."
   "There was no way you could know what he planned," Bob insisted. "And no way you could know what kind of effect it would have on anyone who tried to help him. Now, when Helena feels up to moving, you take her back to your quarters and make sure she gets some sleep." Without waiting for an answer, he turned and left the two alone.
   Koenig bent down and gave her a soft kiss. Helena touched his cheek. "You're really all right?" still unable to believe it.
   "Really," he smiled, intensely relieved that he had been given this second chance at life.

   The memorial service for Bruce had ended. Helena had escaped to the older section of Alpha, to Main Mission , and a chance to see the stars. She felt bad about Bruce's death, and slightly guilty over the happiness she felt over John's recovery at the price of Bruce's life. She still shuddered remembering the way Bruce had looked at her and muttered "too dangerous" before leaving Medical Center that night. She wondered if she could have prevented what had happened or if Bruce had fulfilled the destiny he had spoken of so often.
   "I thought I might find you here," Koenig's voice came quietly from the shadows. He came to stand behind her and share the view. The two of them were frequent visitors to this quiet spot with a view of the stars.
   "I hate funerals," she said quietly, leaning against him.
   He wrapped his arms around her, placing his hands on her belly and feeling their child stir beneath him. "Me too, and we've had more than our fair share on Alpha. But life continues, through us, through this little one. That's what Bruce wanted us to see, that life continues, and we should concentrate more on that than the inevitable end. We've made some progress on Alpha, thanks to him. We're beginning to see this as a home. We need to continue doing our best to make Alpha our home until something better comes along.
     Helena nodded, wondering what else the stars out there held for them and their future family.

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