Helena shifted her chair back from her desk and rubbed her stomach without removing her eyes from the file she was reviewing. “Patience, Alex,” she murmured as her stomach growled and the baby kicked. “Daddy will be here with supper very soon.”
She glanced down at her swollen belly in time to see the baby kick against her right side and push an elbow or a knee against her. She rubbed the knobby spot on her stomach and it slowly subsided. She smiled. The baby was so active now, a month from his due date. He kicked constantly and pressed against her diaphragm, making her short of breath. It was also difficult to eat, and she was always hungry. She now ate five or six small meals throughout the day.
Tonight she was working late. One of the mining teams that had been on Loki for six months now was due in this evening and she wanted them checked out immediately. They had been on the planet longer than anyone else so far, and she wanted to know about any long term effects that the planet may have had. Everyone would receive physicals before they were released.
John would be here shortly to deliver her a small supper before the team landed. He had become a very attentive father-to-be. She and John both still had high-pressure jobs that took a lot of their time, but they made every effort to be together as often as possible, and would be arranging their schedules to spend as much time with Alex as they possibly could.
Because she was older and this was considered a high-risk pregnancy, plenty of genetic testing had been done early in the pregnancy. They knew the baby would be a boy. It had taken them a while, but they had finally settled on the name ‘Alexander Victor Koenig’ for the child. Once that had been settled, she had begun to refer to the child as Alexander. Alexander was kicking her. Alexander had the hiccoughs. Alexander was stretching. John talked to him too every evening as they curled up in bed together, and every morning when they woke up. When he saw her during the day he always greeted both her and the baby. She could already imagine the little baby growing up to look much like his handsome father.
It was their close friend Alan Carter who picked up their habit of talking to the unborn baby and shortened his name to Alex. Alan was already planning to teach the baby to play soccer. Once he started referring to the baby as Alex the nickname stuck and it already seemed natural.
The office door opened and John stepped in carrying a tray from the cafeteria.
“Anyone in here hungry?” he asked.
“We’re starved. And I’ve got a lot to do tonight, so I’m glad you’re here with food,” Helena shifted in her chair, trying to find a more comfortable position.
John put the tray on the desk and moved behind his wife. He placed his hand over her belly and murmured a hello to his son. While she leaned forward to look at the food he leaned down and rubbed her back in the spot where she always said that it ached.
“Mmm that feels wonderful. And you brought all my favorites,” Helena added with a smile.
“Kate packed the tray for you. She said that some you could leave for later. Then she scolded me for making you work late.”
Helena laughed. “You’re not making me work late. I’m making me work late. And I did take a nap this afternoon, per Bob’s orders.”
“Glad to hear it. I told that to Kate, and she slithered back into her kitchen mumbling something insulting under her breath. Tell me, why does she seem to always cast me as the villain?”
Helena laughed. “She’s just being a bit protective. She’s always been a good friend, and I don’t think she trusts any male.”
“Isn’t that a bit sexist?” John asked, procuring a carrot stick and sitting on the sofa.
Helena took a large spoonful of the vegetable soup and smiled. “If you’d been through what she’s been through you might feel differently. Don’t worry sweetheart. I know you’re not the bad guy.”
“I wish you would tell her that.” John crunched thoughtfully for a moment. “ETA for the mining team is about thirty minutes.”
“Good. We’re ready for them. I have a full staff on this evening. I know they’re all going to want to get some rest and blow off steam after the trip, but I do want a chance to check them over first.”
John nodded. “They all understand. This has always been SOP for them.”
There was a tap on the door and Helena touched a button to let Bob Mathias in.
“Didn’t want to disturb you, but here’s the roster. I’ve divided up the patients in the usual manner.”
“Thanks Bob. Come on in.” Helena reached out for the red plastic tablet. She sat it beside her but didn’t quit eating as she looked over the schedule. “We should be done well before midnight.”
“Yes, and I want you to sleep in tomorrow.”
“I like the sound of that,” John said with a smile.
“Both of you should. Pretty soon you’ll be having another reason to have your sleep interrupted. Better get your rest while you can.”
Helena looked expectantly at John. She hated trying to sleep in and having the alarm go off to get him up and off to work.
“I was planning to head back to my office anyway. I’ll tell Alan to be on call in the morning for any Command emergencies since Tony is still on Loki. We’ll both sleep in.”
Helena smiled. There was nothing she liked better than to curl up in her husband’s arms, their unborn child between them.
Bob, John and Helena talked as Helena ate her dinner, then John took the tray with him and Bob and Helena prepared for their patients.
Helena also found she tired easily, and she constantly fought her emotions, which frequently tried to get the better of her. Things she used to shrug off now caused her to tear up without any warning. Sometimes she had to retreat to her office for some solitude to recover. But she was absolutely certain it was going to be worth it.
Her last patient of the evening was Eva Sanderson. She pulled up the chart and looked over the vital information that had already been recorded before entering the small exam room. She knocked and opened the door. Eva sat in the exam chair dressed in Medical Center’s blue standard issue pajamas, yawning.
“Hello Eva,” Helena said.
“Oh, Helena!” Eva looked, then gave a second look at Helena’s rotund figure.
Helena recognized that look. She had seen it on too many of her friends here on Alpha. It was a bit envious, a bit wistful. She knew the feeling. She had surreptitiously given some of her patients that same look.
“How are you Eva?” Helena asked. “You look great. That’s quite a tan you have.”
Eva smiled and lay back to allow Helena to commence the exam. “Hard to believe I used sun screen isn’t it? I haven’t had a tan this good since I was in mining school and we spent the summer in Spain.”
Helena smiled with her. “Nice to breathe fresh air for a change isn’t it? I guess you’ll be going back soon.”
“Probably,” Eva said. “Really, I wish we didn’t have to mine on Loki. We have such a small crew that we have to use some pretty destructive mining methods. It seems a shame to mess up a perfectly good planet.”
“Well, we need the resources. It’s not like we have a choice,” Helena said as she watched the computer information scroll across the screen.
“I think we do. Some of us have been talking. The conditions we’re familiar with—microgravity and microatmosphere—would be more suited to mining the asteroid belt than Loki. Of course, some things will more likely be found on Loki, like petroleum for fuel and plastics. But it would really be more economical to mine most metals from the asteroids.”
“Have you talked to John about this?”
“Not yet. We’ve been talking about it on one of the public communication boards David Kano has set up. Those are really nice. Everyone seems to be brimming with ideas and it’s a good way to talk them through before making specific plans. Of course, we seem to have more ideas than we have people to carry them out.”
“I know. That does make it difficult. We really need more people,” Helena placed her hand on her belly. “And increasing the population is a long term task.”
Eva smiled at her. “How are you feeling?”
“Good, all things considered. Only a month to go now. And it looks like the baby is perfectly healthy from everything we can tell.”
“That’s wonderful news. I know you must be excited.”
Helena nodded. Things had changed so much lately. Before she was pregnant, she would have quickly deflected any personal questions her patients might ask her and kept things businesslike. Now, there was much more a sense of community, and of family, between everyone.
“Well, you check out fine. I won’t keep you any longer unless you have any questions, or anything you want to bring up?”
Eva glanced at Helena’s pregnant belly and glanced away. “Yes, there is something I want to talk to you about.”
Helena sat on the rolling stool by the exam chair. It was late and she was tired but she could anticipate that this would be another of the many ‘I-want-to-have-a-baby’ talks she’d had over the past year. She smiled encouragingly at Eva.
Eva twisted her wedding band nervously. It had been years now since her husband Greg’s death.
“Do you remember the first time you gave me a physical? It was a long time ago—before Breakaway even.”
Helena could easily call up the notes she had made at the time. She didn’t truly remember it. She had given thousands of physicals over the years and didn’t remember that particular one, but she nodded, encouraging Eva to continue.
“We had just come in from a six week tour and were heading dirtside for a month on Earth. There had been a solar flare while we were out and you were concerned about the amount of radiation we had endured.”
Helena remembered it now. The team had found a large vein of ice and when the flare occurred Greg had wisely put down in the shadow of a mountain and stayed put until it passed. Without his quick action his team would have been caught in the worst of the radiation. It was one of many occasions where his quick thinking saved their lives. No wonder they continued to follow him even after he became unstable from green sickness.
“You and I talked about my career and whether or not I ever wanted to have a family,” Eva shook her head, remembering. “I was so young then. You suggested I think about having some of my eggs harvested and preserved on Earth. Of course, I was much more interested in going on vacation with Greg at the time and we never got round to that. But Greg and I did talk about it. We even joked about me maybe being the first person to have a baby on the moon. There weren’t many married couples working up here back then.
“Of course then Breakaway happened just a little after we got back and we couldn’t have children. But I remembered what you said and I asked Greg to come see you. I asked him about at least storing some of his sperm. Just in case…” she tapered off.
“Helena?” she asked hesitantly. “Did Greg ever come see you? Do you… possibly still have that sample stored somewhere?”
Until that very moment she had forgotten all about that incident. Shortly after Breakaway Greg Sanderson had made an appointment with her. He had been embarrassed by the request and in his gruff stumbling manner he told her what he wanted. “For me wife,” he kept insisting. “She don’t ask for much, but she wants this. Just in case, you know?”
Helena had been impressed by the depth of his affection for Eva. He might be embarrassed but he was making this effort simply to please her. In his embarrassment he tried to make light of the incident. “It’s dangerous out there, doc. Never can tell when a bit of stray radiation might burn me ‘nads straight off. Then where would we be?”
It was a simple matter of collecting a specimen and storing it properly. They had means and had honored the request and Helena never thought of it again.
“Eva, he did give me a sample, and I stored it, but at the moment I couldn’t tell you whether or not it’s still viable. I’ll have to look into it.”
“Would you, Helena? Please?” Eva said eagerness tempered with caution.
“Eva surely there are other men…” Helena started.
Eva shook her head emphatically. “I loved Greg dearly. He wasn’t always the easiest person to love, but we were meant to be together. I’m not a people person and I just can’t go through all the games it takes to be married.” She sighed. “Or even to just get pregnant. I know several of the blokes on my team would willingly cooperate, but I know it wouldn’t work. It would put things… out of balance.”
Eva now ran the team that Greg led before his death. The all male team listened to her and were devoted to her, but Helena understood. The dynamics of the team would change if she chose one man to be the father of her child. She took Eva’s hand. “It’s your decision, of course, Eva. And we certainly need more children. I do have to warn you that it might not work.”
“I understand. But I would very much like to try.”
“It’s late, and I’m sure you’re tired. You get dressed and get a good night’s sleep and I’ll set up an appointment to go over what needs to be done.”
Eva nodded and Helena stood to go. “Thank you, Helena.”
Helena smiled and slipped out of the room. Rather than heading for her office she turned toward the lab. She used her commlock to enter the secure area of the lab that contained narcotics, certain experimental specimens and other supplies that needed environmental as well as security control.
In the back of the lab, in one of the refrigeration units was a door with a keypad. This was the most secure area for various controlled substances. The head pharmacist, Helena and the head of security were the only ones who had the combination. She tapped in the eight-digit code and swung open the heavy door. In the coldest section of the unit was a small locked cage. It contained five small vials. Each vial was packed in liquid nitrogen and hooked into another separate cooling unit. Attached to each was a plastic envelope containing written instructions. Those instructions were duplicated in a certain file accessible only by the CMO.
She unlocked the cage and inspected each small canister. She drew the canister marked “#1” to the front and removed the instructions from the envelope. She read them over to herself and replaced them in the envelope. She then returned the canister to its proper place, relocked the cage, and the refrigerator. She stood for a moment, twisting the ring on her finger nervously, then she stepped away from the lock.
“What are you looking at?”
John’s voice startled her and she turned to face him, moving more suddenly than her pregnant body was prepared for. She placed her hand on her belly. “I didn’t know you were there.”
“Sorry. I was waiting for you when you left the exam room. I called your name, but you didn’t seem to hear me.” John walked toward her and took her hands. “What’s got you so upset?”
She moved away from him. “I’m not upset,” she said, unconvincingly. She looked away from him.
This time he moved up behind her and put his hands on her shoulder. “You certainly look it.” Gently he turned her to face him. “Is there something wrong with someone on the mining team,” he asked with concern.
It was a question from her commanding officer, not her husband. Despite his tender ways, she could hear the tone in his voice. “No, John,” she reassured him. “Nothing like that.”
“Then what?”
She sighed and moved away from him. She was immediately aware that the action caused him concern once again. Usually, she leaned on him for comfort when she was tired or upset. She moved to a lab stool and sat down. This was not a conversation she wished to carry home with them nor was it one she wanted overheard by anyone.
“John, I know that since our encounter with the Darien ship you have been adamant about us surviving for our own sake, not some repository of a set of genes or specimen.”
John frowned and watched her from the other side of the table. He nodded slowly for her to continue.
“On principal, I agree with you. We need to survive on our own, not for some intangible substance. The Dariens missed the point. Their gene bank would not maintain their civilization, but it might have meant the continuity of their race.”
“Helena, are you saying you have a gene bank?”
“Not… really,” she said hesitantly. She took a deep breath. “All I have is five samples of sperm from willing donors. Four of them came to me. The fifth… I requested. All attached certain conditions to the use of their sperm. Conditions I will make every effort to honor. The problem is, the conditions from the first donor have just been met.” She hesitated.
John waited for her to continue. She merely sat, her green eyes meeting his. He finally shook his head, and paced up and down the aisle of the lab. “Helena, I still don’t believe you should be playing God with people’s genes. You shouldn’t get the right to decide…”
“I don’t have that right,” Helena said. “Each donor has placed conditions on their own sample. In fact, right now, my dilemma is not deciding whether or not to use the sperm, but how to go about doing it.”
“How?”
“Yes, how,” Helena said with more force and anger than John expected. “I had no problems collecting or storing the samples. That’s basic laboratory technique. But, there is no one here experienced in human artificial insemination. None of us knows how to use these… gifts.” She shook her head impatiently. “We’ve been arrogant and optimistic. I made a promise to someone and now I’m not certain I can keep it.” She was close to tears and she hated that. This was a situation that she had dreaded for years now, and the addition of her own pregnancy with its hormones throwing her off balance was making things even worse. “I feel so helpless.” She shook her head with frustration.
John was silent for a while and Helena knew he was trying to determine how best to resolve this without further upsetting her. Finally he said, “You’ve overcome more difficult things in the past.”
“Yes, we have; mostly with a lot of luck. Right now, I just don’t have the skills to do this, and I don’t know if I can destroy someone’s hopes because of my failure.” She felt tears slipping from her eyes. She closed them tightly and tried to brush the tears away.
He was by her side in a heartbeat. His strong arms engulfed her and she leaned against his chest, welcoming his strength. “Right now you’re tired. I know you feel that this is the right thing to do, and I won’t argue that now. Let’s go home and get a good night’s sleep, then you can sort through the problem tomorrow and we’ll discuss the best way to proceed.”
She barely had the energy to nod her head in agreement. She would need to spend some time researching the problem. Just letting Eva know that she would be working on it would be enough for the immediate future. But she was hoped she could come up with something much more concrete.
Ellen Lindow
June 15, 2001