Lisel was surprised to see her grandfather waiting in the hallway when her shift ended. “Grandpa, what are you doing here?”
He kissed her cheek and took her arm. “I thought I’d see if you would deign to have a bite to eat with an old man.”
“Oh, Grandpa,” Lisel giggled.
She was in a better mood than she had been eight hours before. Lisel’s specialty was teleoperation. The mining ‘bots under her care for this shift had found a rich vein of ice, always welcome on the moon. Her find would provide an additional new water source, and she would receive a mining bonus that would provide her additional credits in her account. She chattered on about her find all the way to the Terrace. Food Services had several different areas for serving food now, and Lisel wasn’t surprised that her grandfather chose the most exclusive one, located with a view of the garden below. They nodded at several others seated in the spacious room and took a table near the balcony. A small ‘bot rolled up to take their order. Her grandfather ordered her favorites, and his. Lisel dimpled. Their tastes had always been the same. He winked at her and settled back in his chair as the ‘bot trundled off to fulfill their order.
Lisel looked around. “You used to always bring me here and order that when I was little and Mama and I would be at odds.”
“It always served its purpose. Your mother got some peace, and you were distracted enough to cheer up.”
“I miss Mama.”
“She’ll be back in a year or so.”
“You say that like it’s no big deal. A year is a long time.”
“Your mother has talents that Alpha needs. Besides, with your grandfather’s connections in the Federation, it’s best that she negotiate on behalf of Alpha. It’s not like your father doesn’t miss her too.”
“He’s so busy, I’m not sure he even notices she’s gone.”
“Of course he’s busy. He’s the Commander. It’s always been a very intense job.”
“I don’t remember you being so busy when you wore the black sleeve.”
Her grandfather chuckled. “You were very young at that time. Believe me, I was busy. It did help that I was training Neil to take the reins, so in a sense we were both doing the job that he’s doing alone now.”
The short squat ‘bot rolled silently up to the table. Two covered trays were stacked on top with a pot of Kava and two mugs on top. They arranged everything on the table, returned trays and covers to the top of the ‘bot and began to eat.
“Grandpa, did I make Gramma mad when I left this morning? I didn’t mean to be impatient with her.”
“She knows you needed to get to work. And no, she wasn’t angry. But there was more that you should know, and we both felt it would be best if I picked up the story from here.”
“Why?”
John had heard that question more in the last few weeks than he had heard in his entire lifetime. Evidently some switch had recently turned on in Neil’s brain and he wanted to know why about absolutely everything.
“She’s working,” John explained patiently. “We’ll meet her for supper in about an hour.”
Neil reached up for his father’s hand and hopped along next to him.
“Working? Why?”
“Because that’s how she helps people.” John took both of the little boy’s hands and swung him up the first five steps of the staircase they had come to.
“Fly an Eagle?” Neil asked hopefully. He knew well that the stairs led to the travel tube and out to the launch pads.
“Not today. But we are going to the Eagle Hangar. You can sit in the pilot’s seat.”
Neil smiled his sunny smile that was so much like his mother’s and turned to climb the stairs, using both hands and feet. John stepped up behind him and swept him up in his arms.
“Me do it, Daddy! Me do it!” Neil kicked and struggled.
John sighed, but set the fiercely independent little boy down. It would take a little longer, but he wasn’t in that much of a hurry.
They had just reached the top of the stairs and turned toward the hallway leading to the travel tube when John’s commlock beeped.
“Koenig.”
”Commander, we have a contact. It just
appeared on our sensors.”
“What kind of contact, Sandra?”
“Unknown. I have contacted Maya. It could be some kind of naturally occurring phenomena.”
John glanced at the door to the travel tube just ahead and at the little boy jumping along ahead of him. It would be best not to be so far away from Command Center if something strange had come up. “I’ll be right there.” He closed the connection with Sandra and touched another button on the commlock. Alice Manning’s face appeared on the screen.
“Commander, the doctor is in with a patient. Can I help you?”
“Hello Alice. I was planning to take Neil out to the Hangar Bay with me, but I’ve been called back to Command Center.”
Alice nodded. Helena’s staff had all been tremendously supportive to her family. They were used to John’s busy and ever-changing schedule. “Someone will meet you in Command Center in a few minutes. Doctor Koenig’s session will be over shortly. Neil can stay here with us until she’s done.”
“Thanks, Alice.” John signed off and turned to explain to his little boy that there would be no time on an Eagle today. That would be much harder.
By the time he reached Command Center with Neil, Maya was already sitting at her desk staring intently at the screen. Alice walked in right behind them and whisked Neil away. Had it been anyone else, Neil might have protested, but he adored Alice and would do anything for her.
“What have you got, Maya?”
Maya shifted in her chair. Like many of Alpha’s women over the last couple of years, Maya was pregnant. She and Tony Verdeschi were surprised and thrilled. Neither Maya nor Helena had been particularly optimistic about her chance of conceiving a Human/Psychon hybrid, but so far her pregnancy had gone smoothly for both mother and child. Tony, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck.
“Commander, it looks like an outflow point from a space warp. There is quite a bit of debris.”
“A space warp? Could we be pulled toward it?”
Maya shoot her head. “As you know from our encounters with them, a space warp of this sort is directional. We should be in no danger.”
John relaxed slightly until Maya frowned. “What is it?”
“I’m picking up several very faint life form readings.” Maya looked up at him. “Commander, I believe the debris we’re seeing is from a space ship that didn’t remain intact during the warp. There could be survivors.”
John had ridden an Eagle through a space warp and was thankful there had been strong shields on the Eagle. The shields over Alpha had also remained intact during more than one encounter. Obviously these people hadn’t been so lucky, and if the moon hadn’t been close by, they would have been out of luck. John touched a button on his desk and Alan Carter’s face appeared on the screen. “Alan. We have an encounter with the remains of a ship coming out of a space warp. There may be survivors.”
Carter gave a curt nod, listened to his instructions and was on his way to a waiting Eagle in moments. It would be a while before Alan reached the area. Leaving instructions to call him back to Command Center when Alan was in position, he headed to Medical Center to pick up his family for dinner.
He may have gone mad for a while. He didn’t really know. There was no sensation of time passing or distance traveled. He didn’t really feel anything at all. He was simply there. At one point he thought he saw some sort of space ship pull alongside him. But he didn’t really believe it when a figure floated up in a standard issue yellow and orange pressure suit. It wasn’t until he was inside the Eagle, and someone removed his helmet that he began to wonder if this was reality, or some sort of afterlife. Someone peered down at him and said, “You’re going to be all right,” and he lost the thread of consciousness.
Neil settled at the dinner table between his parents and chattered happily. He was a very verbal child, almost constantly talking from the time he could string two words together. He had a habit of greeting anyone who came near. He knew everyone, and liked everyone. He also said the name of anyone who walked by, perhaps because people nearly always greeted his mother and identified themselves immediately since she couldn’t see them. He was polishing off his desert when he looked up and smiled sunnily. “Alan Carter!”
Carter was still wearing his pressure suit, although he had left behind helmet, collar and gloves. He slid into the seat across from Helena.
“How did it go?” John asked. He had expected to be called back to Command Center before Carter returned.
“We found two survivors and signs of several bodies.” Carter said, choosing his words carefully in front of the child. “I brought the survivors straight back. They’re in Medical Center. I authorized two other Eagles to go out on salvage patrol. We might find some pieces of the ship useful.”
John nodded. Processed metals were hard to come by. Recycling was much easier than refining minerals.
“The survivors,” Helena asked. “They’re humanoid?”
Carter looked at John, then back at Helena and mental alarms began ringing for John. “They’re human, Helena. It’s an Earth ship.”
“An Earth ship? You’re sure?”
“The two survivors had Earth patches on their p-suits. Some of the debris was also similarly marked.”
“What ship?” John asked.
Carter was still watching Helena and obviously trying to decide how to phrase this. “It’s the Astro 7. Helena, I think one of the survivors is Lee Russell.”
Helena’s face turned ashen. She clutched the edge of the table. John put out a hand to steady her, afraid she might faint. “Alan, that’s not a joking matter,” John said.
“I wish I were joking, John,” Alan said quietly. “The mission patches, the ship’s markings. I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true. Helena, do you want to go to Medical Center.”
Helena pulled herself together and drew herself up. “No. No, I want no part of this.” She turned sightless eyes on John. “He is not to know I am here. Not at all. Do you understand?”
“Helena – “ John started, surprised at her steely insistence.
“I’m going to our quarters. You are not to mention me to him at all. Promise me, John.”
“I’ll do no such thing. Helena, if he’s here –“
“No! I won’t be put through this again. I won’t see him!” Helena turned and stalked away, surefooted despite her sightlessness. Two people had to jump out of her way. She touched her commlock and swept out the door without hesitation. Everyone stared after her. Her emotional outburst was so out of character it left everyone in shock.
John moved to go after her, then remembered Neil sitting next to him. The little boy had turned around to watch his mother as she walked away. He was on his knees, clutching the back of the chair, eyes wide. John glanced at the door, now closed behind his wife, and back at his son.
“Go,” Alan offered. “I’ll watch my little mate finish up his supper.”
“I need you back out there directing the salvage operation. You’ve got to pick up everything you can. I want to make sure that’s really what it looks like.”
Alan nodded. He stood and placed his hand briefly on the top of the little boy’s black curls. “See you later, cobber.”
“Bye, Alan,” Neil replied.
John lifted the little boy and turned him around in his seat. “Finish up your supper, son.”
Melita Kelly left a nearby table and joined the commander and his son. “Commander. Let me watch him for a while. We could go down to the play area in the park after he finishes his supper. Would you like that, Neil?”
Neil nodded enthusiastically. John put his hand on her shoulder in wordless thanks. “I’ll come for him in a little while,” he promised. “Be good,” he cautioned his son. Neil nodded and picked up his fork. John hurried away.
The apartment was dark when he entered. At first he thought that Helena must not have come home. She usually turned on the lights, even though she didn’t need them. But when he turned on the lights he found her sitting on the end of the sofa, knees drawn up, eyes open and unseeing. John moved across the room and knelt in front of her, taking her hands in his.
Early the next morning, Bob Mathias was stepping out of the shower when his door buzzed. Since becoming Chief Medical Officer a few years ago, trading places with Helena, early morning meetings had been very rare, but nearly always one person. Mathias checked the communications post and wondered again if the man ever slept. He pulled on a robe and opened the door.
John Koenig burst into the room, pacing with pent-up frustration. “I do not understand her at all! She’s not making any sense!”
“I talked to Carter earlier. And heard about her outburst.” Mathias tied the belt on his robe and moved to the coffee pot in the corner of his room. He poured two cups and set up a second round.
“She’s being completely irrational. She wants nothing to do with him. Wants me to promise her that we won’t tell him she’s here. I asked her what she thought would happen when he walked into the cafeteria while we were eating. She said she just wouldn’t go there anymore. Bob! What’s gotten into her?” Koenig threw up his hands and stopped his pacing for a moment.
Bob handed his commander a cup of coffee in the hope of slowing him down for a few moments. “Where is she now?”
“At home, asleep. About an hour ago she cried herself to sleep.”
“And Neil?”
“He was with Melita Kelly until bedtime, then we tucked him in before continuing our… discussion. He won’t wake up for another hour.”
“She must know that we’ll have to let Russell know all about what our situation is.”
“She does. But she insists she doesn’t want to see him, talk to him, have any kind of contact with him at all.”
“How does she propose we manage that?”
Koenig set the cup down. This part required more pacing. “She wants me to tell him.” He shook his head and turned to look at Bob. “What am I supposed to do? Sit down and say, ‘your wife is here, but she’s married again, and has a child and wants nothing to do with you’? It is him, isn’t it?”
Mathias nodded cautiously. “I believe it’s him. And the other is his pilot, Ben Starnes. I’ve kept both sedated. They had been running low on oxygen, banged up by the breakup of the ship, but nothing serious.”
“The others? There were a dozen people on that mission.”
“Carter reported they’ve only found… pieces of bodies. It’s a miracle Russell and Starnes are intact.”
Koenig sat and put his hands over his eyes, elbows propped on knees. “Dammit Bob, what am I supposed to do?”
“I can talk to him when he wakes up.”
“That seems like the cowards way out. I’ll do it,” John said with resignation. “What about Helena?”
“She may come around,” Bob said with a shrug. “John, look at this as a control issue for her.”
“Control?”
“Yes. With all the crises we’ve been through, there has been very little she has been able to take control over. Breakaway, leaving Earth, coping with surviving, strange planets, aliens of varying hostility, even the accident that’s left her blind. Each thing has chipped away at her ability to control her life. Here’s one thing she can insist on, have a bit of control over.”
“She says she doesn’t want him to see her the way she is now. The scars, ten years older.”
“I’m sure that’s a factor in it too. For him, he left behind a beautiful young wife just a few months ago. Although I doubt he’ll feel the same way, I expect she would rather he remember her like that than the way she is now.”
“I doesn’t make any difference to me, and if he’s the man I think he is, someone worthy of Helena’s love all those years ago, it won’t make a difference to him.”
“John, how do you see this resolving itself? I mean, aside from Helena’s wishes, irrational, or not.”
John looked up, surprised. How do I -- ?” He looked away, eyes unfocused, concentrating. “I… guess I don’t know.”
“Helena was married to him first. It’s very possible that he’ll want her back.”
“But…”
“And you seem to think the changes in her life won’t make a difference to him.”
“We have a family, our son –“
“And perhaps she still loves him. Alpha’s a small community. You and Helena could certainly share custody of Neil even if you are no longer together.”
“Bob!”
“See how hard this may be? For you? And it’s even more so for her. John, I’m not trying to say you’d be better off if she keeps this attitude, but I am saying, she has every right to be confused and upset, and not thinking particularly rationally. She probably would like to see this particular problem simply vanish into thin air.”
“This is just so unlike her.” John shook his head. Bob handed him the cup of coffee again.
“Yes, it is. And I expect once she’s had a chance to calm down, she’ll be a good deal more rational. But for now, why don’t you let me talk to Russell first, explain the situation. Including Helena. Then you can meet with him afterwards.”
John nodded reluctantly.
“We’ll also assign Russell and Starnes quarters. Carter said he’ll be happy to sign them both on as pilots. We can always use extra pilots. We can see where else they may want to work as they settle in.”
All he really wanted to do was sit in a dark room and cry, not that they would let him. He knew that he was beyond lucky to be alive and rescued by a group of humans. His ship was destroyed, all the crew but Ben dead, they could never return to Earth, and, most important, he had lost Helena. He was fairly certain that last part was the part that hurt so much that it felt as if he had received some kind of serious internal wound.
Mathias said he had been shaken up badly by the tumble through the space warp, or whatever they called it, but would regain his equilibrium soon. Carter, chief pilot here and their rescuer, had shown them around his domain at the Eagle Hangar and started both he and Ben on simulator training. Carter should have been younger than them, but because this warp had somehow moved them through space and time, they were now junior to a man who had barely started with the space program when they left in the Astro Seven. Carter was a cheerful Aussie who seemed sympathetic to their ordeal and eager to have experienced pilots on his team.
Most of the Alphans had been friendly, in fact, eager to visit with the only new members of the community in the last five years. Ben had renewed an acquaintance with someone he had known before, a widow by the name of Melita Kelly who had been a young trainee when he’d left Earth, and was now a few years older than he, but not so much to be noticeable or make things awkward.
And then there was Helena. No matter where his thoughts went, they circled back to Helena. The CMO, Bob Mathias had pulled up a chair once he was awake and given him the score. That warp thing had sent them across the galaxy and through ten years of time. And somehow, across all that time and space, they had emerged in the wreckage of their ship within easy distance of the runaway moon. And Helena was here. And Helena didn’t want to see him.
Mathias was a decent sort, and obviously a long-time friend of Helena’s. Still, he was kind and sympathetic to Lee. He explained all that had happened to Alpha and to Helena. And perhaps he couldn’t blame Helena for being reluctant to have Lee complicate her life right now. Five years of mourning him, coping with their unexpected departure from Earth as CMO here among the survivors. Finding someone to start a new life with, a new family, then an accident that left her blind. Mathias was very thorough in his explanations and Lee had taken it all in, a bit stunned by all that had happened. Mathias had not been surprised that he wanted some time to think about things, and assured Lee that he would be available to talk about things any time.
His second visitor had been Carter. Carter had given him a commlock, a yellow-sleeved uniform and informed him that he would be assigned to Eagle pilot duties as soon as he was checked out on the machines. Carter was also straight with him. Helena and her new husband were friends of his. He didn’t necessarily agree with Helena’s determination not to see Lee, but advised Lee to follow her wishes for now.
Then the base Commander had arrived after Carter, so soon after he got dressed that he wondered who was watching him. Physically he felt okay. Emotionally he was still in shock. He had never met Koenig. Although both had spent most of their adult life involved with the space program, they had always worked on different projects. He knew of Koenig, of course, who had been to both Venus and Mars during his career. Under other circumstances he might have even liked the bastard. But at the moment, all he could think of was that this is the man who was with Helena.
Koenig seemed embarrassed about the situation, but unrepentant. He told Lee about his son, his and Helena’s, and some of the ordeals he and Helena had been through together. It was quickly obvious that he was devoted to Helena, and although he didn’t agree with Helena, would give in to her wishes on this and asked Lee to also abide by her wishes for the sake of his own love for her.
How could you fight against that? Lee couldn’t. He did love Helena. He always would. And although he wasn’t happy that she didn’t wish to see him, not happy at all, he would follow her wishes for now.
Between Ben and Carter they kept him busy once he was out of Medical Center. After spending most of a year in the tin can of Astro Seven, Alpha seemed spacious to him. And he was fascinated by the gardens in the new Beta section. So much greenery was something to be treasured. The trees weren’t very big yet, but there was a large open space, big enough for a half size football field. There were usually a few people out kicking a ball around on the grass, despite the fact that the grass was nurtured and babied by a league of amateur gardeners.
So his days took on a routine of fitting into this new environment while trying not to think about the fact that Helena was here somewhere… and didn’t want to see him. He would get up and have breakfast with Ben and usually Carter, then they would head out to the Eagle Hangar. Mornings were spent with the grease monkeys who kept the birds flying. Carter knew they were both engineers, and expected them to be mechanics too, as well as computer techs. A working lunch, someone was usually sent to pick up food. Afternoon was simulator time. Carter threw some of the roughest sims at them. At first he wondered how they came up with such bizarre conditions. Sometimes he and Ben were paired. Other times they were placed with other pilots, or maybe Carter. After nearly a month of sims he was given one of picking up and distributing waste canisters across a pre-defined grid. He was paired with Bill Fraser that time and after they crashed in the shock wave from a gigantic explosion Bill told him that was his own ‘black box’ info from Breakaway. That simulation gave Lee nightmares. He found out much later that most of the other sims were similarly real: planets with endless snow storms, shock wave defenses, violent thunderstorms, poisonous or corrosive atmospheres. He had a newfound respect for what these people had been through.
Usually they worked late and a group of pilots ate together when they were through for the day. Evenings were time for the gym. Exercise was strongly encouraged for all the pilots. There were also movies to watch, a rec room with plenty of games to play. Many of the movies were new to Lee, filmed after his disappearance.
Barely two months after his arrival he was added into the rotation of pilots and sent aloft. He might have thought the trip to the south lunar pole was merely to give him a taste of the real thing, but supplying the ice mining teams and returning with a load of ice was an important task as he soon found out. He returned with a group of miners who were ripe for some fresh food, some new company and a shower. When he climbed out of the Eagle in the hangar he was told to take the rest of the day off.
Ben was still sweating through some odd simulation where the Eagle had been taken down into a subterranean cavern that he had to lift straight up from. Lee didn’t want the day off. It allowed him too much time to think. But he did as he was told.
He prowled the hallways. It had become a bit of a habit of his. Helena couldn’t really hide from him indefinitely. And no one had ever told him he couldn’t walk wherever he pleased. If anyone asked, he was simply trying to become familiar with Alpha’s layout. But no one had ever asked. In the ‘evenings’, after the highly populated first shift ended and had time for dinner, there were frequently people strolling the hallways, either going to and from the rec and dorm areas, or simply out for a stroll. But it was only halfway through first shift and hardly anyone was about.
As he came to one of the numerous identical intersections, a small foam glider floated across his path. A child’s voice giggled and a little boy dashed into view chasing the glider. He wore shorts, a baggy long sleeved shirt and sandals, typical attire for the few children here. His hair was a dark mop of curls and he turned and stared at Lee with Helena’s green eyes.
“Hello.” The child said in a sunny voice.
“Hello,” Lee answered back, unable to think of anything to say.
“Who are you?” the child asked.
“I’m Lee Russell.”
The boy with Helena’s eyes smiled. “That’s my name too. I’m Neil Lee Koenig.” He turned to look behind him. “Right Daddy?”
Lee was so startled he hadn’t had time to wonder who was with the boy, or to hope it was Helena.
“That’s right, son.” Koenig said.
Lee felt slightly dizzy. She had named her son after him. Then why wouldn’t she see him? Surely she knew he would never do anything to hurt her. Including making no waves with her new family. He almost missed the next thing Neil said to him.
“…Do you want to come with us?”
“What’s that?” he had to ask.
“To fly the plane. Daddy says we can stay in the park to fly the plane until supper. Do you want to come with us?”
“Mr. Russell probably has other things to do, Neil,” the commander said gently.
“Do you?”
“Not really,” Lee had to admit.
Neil immediately took his and handing his father the plane, took his father’s hand too, and guided them both toward the elevator. Neil chattered artlessly away about the plane and how it flew. Someone, probably his father, had done a good job of explaining Bernoulli’s principle.
As they left the elevator and entered the park, Neil wound down with, “And someday we might find a planet with an atmosphere and we can build airplanes big enough to fly in! Wouldn’t that be something?”
Lee couldn’t help but smile. “That would indeed.”
Neil ran ahead of them into the area set aside for a playground. “Fly it, Daddy. Fly it to me,” the child commanded.
John pulled back his arm and let the plane loose. It dipped, then rose, flying over the boy’s head. Neil laughed and raced after it with a shriek of delight.
“He’s beautiful,” Lee said softly.
“Thank you. I think so, but I may be a bit biased.” Koenig said with a smile.
“No. He’s really…” the words caught in his throat. “He has his mother’s eyes.”
“Yes.”
Neil picked up the plane and started to run back.
“You fly it, Neil. Do it just the way I showed you.”
The boy spread his legs and stood still. He pulled back and thrust his arm forward, concentrating hard on pushing the plane while keeping it moving straight ahead, not down. The plane floated along just above the ground, making it about half the distance back to Koenig. Neil clapped his hands. “Your turn, Lee Russell.”
Lee felt awkward at intruding on this father-son time, but Koenig smiled and nodded, so Lee moved forward and picked up the plane. For a while the three of them sailed the plane back and forth, but a preschooler doesn’t have much of an attention span. Soon he asked to go play on the swings, and from there he was ready to play in the sand with a few plastic toys left ready for any child who came by. Koenig gestured to a nearby bench and they sat together and watched the little boy concentrate totally on pushing a small model moon buggy across the hills of sand.
“We always talked about having a child…” Lee said
“I know.”
“I guess she told you.”
Koenig nodded.
“Could you… tell her… tell her I won’t interfere. I’d just like to see her.”
Koenig sat forward, elbows on his knees, fingers laced and before him. “Bob told you about her accident.”
“Yes, he did.”
“Did he tell you about the scars?”
Lee nodded. “It doesn’t make any difference to me.”
“Of course it wouldn’t. I don’t know you, Mr. Russell, but I think I know the kind of man Helena would fall in love with. It wouldn’t make any more difference to you than it does to me. But it makes a difference to her. I think she really wants you to remember her the way she was, not the way she is. I’ll talk to her again. But Alpha’s a small place. She can’t hide from you forever.”
“I’ve thought the same thing.”
Neil broke up the conversation by dashing over and leaping into his father’s arms. “Come play, Daddy!”
Lee stood. “I need to go.”
John stood too, swinging Neil up with him and settling him against his side. He nodded at Russell.
“I’ve enjoyed this. And I’ve enjoyed meeting you, Neil,” he turned to the little boy with a smile.
“You’ll come play with us again?” Neil asked.
“I’d like that.”
Koenig held out his hand. “I’d like that, too.”
They shook hands without another word and Lee turned away from the father and son.
It had been an odd meeting. Neil, of course, had no experience with strangers, and had taken to Lee immediately. John recounted everything to Helena that night after Neil was in bed.
“I like him, Helena.”
Helena smiled. “Of course you do. You have a lot in common.”
“Including loving you. Helena, don’t you think he would adjust to things here better if you just talked to him?”
“It sounds like he’s adjusting fine. John, please, not yet. I’m just not ready.”
“He won’t think any less of you because of the scars.”
Helena squeezed his hand. They sat together on the sofa in the living room of their apartment. Neil had a small bedroom, and John used the spare bedroom as an office. “It’s not the scars. John, I’ve never even seen the scars. It’s just…” she sighed. “It’s hard to put it into words. I just want him to think of me the way I used to be.”
John pulled her into his arms and simply held her.
Life had settled into a routine and Russell was beginning to understand that space travel on Alpha was just about as dull as space travel in a much smaller ship. When nothing happened, there simply wasn’t much to do. He stood ready watches with the other pilots, and flew on the few missions to other parts of the moon. But most of the time in between he helped work on the Eagles, keeping them in shape for when they were needed, and he waited, like the rest of the Alphans, for something to happen.
He was on a swing shift in the ready room one evening, playing pool with Alan Carter, when Koenig walked in with Neil on his shoulders.
“We hoped we’d find someone down here,” Koenig said as Neil leaped from his shoulders, trusting that Carter would be there to catch him.
“What are you two doing wandering around this evening?” Carter asked, throwing the boy high into the air.
“Helena went to a baby shower and so we were left to our own devices,” Koenig explained.
Carter caught the little boy and swooped him around and with a quick glance to make sure Russell was ready, tossed Neil across the pool table to Russell’s waiting arms. The little boy crowed with laughter. “And when you asked Neil what he wanted to do, he said he wanted to come fly an Eagle, right cobber?”
Russell spun the boy around and back into his father’s arms. Neil nodded breathlessly. Carter took the boy from his father’s arms and handed John a pool cue. “Why don’t you and I go aboard the Eagle and your dad can finish this game for me.” He turned to John. “I have stripes, and don’t let him sucker you, he’s good.”
“Better than me, I’m sure. I’m out of practice.”
Carter and Neil vanished down the short hallway to the waiting Eagle. With a gesture Russell indicated that it was John’s turn. John surveyed the table and set up a shot. With a powerful shot, John sank the fourteen ball and turned his attention to the eleven.
“Carter says you and Ben are settling in well.”
“Glad we can help out. The Eagles haven’t changed that much since we left. You do seem to be short on pilots.”
“It’s a high risk job. We’ve lost a lot of good men.”
The eleven bounced ineffectively from bumper to bumper and John stood back to let Lee take his turn.
“Carter also says you should be given some more responsibility. Your talents are being wasted out here.”
Russell set up a bank shot to put the three in the corner pocket while avoiding the eight ball. “I’m not sure what talents those are, but I’m certainly willing to help any way I can.”
“What do you know about hydroponics?”
“I helped out a bit on the Astro Seven, we all did. But I’m no expert.”
The three missed the pocket by a quarter inch and rebounded knocking the eight in a slow trajectory toward the side pocket. Russell grimaced and stood back to give Koenig room.
The three was now blocking any chance for Koenig to have a decent shot at the eleven or the thirteen. He decided on a bank shot at the twelve. “We had some problems in Hydroponics a few years ago. Killed three of my best people. We picked up the pieces and moved on, but the department lacks leadership. There are a number of workers who get the job done, and a few bright young people with ideas, but no one to weigh those ideas and decide what makes good sense and what’s pie-in-the-sky for us right now. The section head from Food Services oversees them right now, and both are currently under Mathias, but I’d like to see someone take hold of the department and give it some direction.”
Lee watched the bank shot go nowhere. The balls bounced around the table with a pleasant clacking sound. It did set up a good shot at that three, sitting annoyingly close to the corner pocket, and Lee managed to sink the ball and set up a shot for the four. He sank that one as well, one ball left before the eight. He concentrated on the task and quickly sank the last two balls. He stood and looked at Koenig. “If that’s what you want, I’ll do it. But I want one thing in return.”
“What’s that?” Koenig asked, surveying the pool table with only stripes remaining.
“I want to see Helena.”
“That’s not really within my power.”
“Let me just see her. She doesn’t have to know I’m there.” He stood firm. “Commander. I’m not trying to destroy your family.”
“I know. I know. I’ll see what I can do.”
Ever since they became a couple, John tried hard to make sure that he and Helena had time together. It wasn’t easy. His job was unpredictable and demanding. But he had confided that his last marriage had been strained to the breaking point because he didn’t make time for his wife, and he wouldn’t make that mistake again.
When John suggested they have dinner together at the end of the week, she looked forward to it, as she always did. Sometimes they joined other couples. At other times, John made arrangements for them to have a quiet dinner for two, which he had done this time. Melita Kelly picked Neil up from the apartment and he would eat dinner with her. Helena knew Melita was seeing Ben Starnes and was happy for her. It had been a long time since Melita had lost her husband and Helena knew just how lonely that could be.
After Neil and Melita left, Helena changed into the dark blue evening dress that she knew John loved. No one had much variety in their wardrobe, and it was nice to wear something besides a uniform for a change.
This evening was a night for a quiet dinner, just the two of them. The main cafeteria had a modular design and rooms could be blocked off in various sizes for VIP dinners or departmental meetings or even private parties. A small section had been reserved for the Koenigs and the table was already set for them. Being commander had a few privileges, John reminded her. They savored their time alone together, then strolled through the hallways, hand in hand. Even without her sight, Helena eventually realized that they were heading upwards toward the old Main Mission.
“I know where you’re taking me.”
“You do?” John asked in a voice too innocent.
“I do. John, the rooms are always kept too cold up on the surface since we don’t use them. And it’s not like I can’t tell we’ve been working our way upwards,” she smiled.
His arm went around her waist. “I thought you’d know where we’re going.”
“If you think you can lure me up there and seduce me, you are very wrong,” Helena said with a laugh.
“That was not my intent,” he assured her.
“You’re not changing my mind.” She stated.
They stepped on the elevator that would take them up to Main Mission. “I don’t intend to.” He assured her.
He pulled her into his arms and held her close, as if he never wanted to let her go. She leaned against him and he buried his face in her hair. “I love you,” he said to her as the doors swished open.
“I love you, too.” She stepped off the elevator with him. The heat was turned up. It was actually comfortable here in the hallway leading into Main Mission. He took her hand and they walked around the corner. The two had walked together all over Alpha since she had lost her sight. She trusted him and he knew exactly how to give her nonverbal clues about the area around her. With a squeeze of the hand and a pause, she was prepared for the steps up to his office.
“John, you’ve turned up the heat. What are you up to? I am not…”
He placed a finger on her lips. “Helena. That’s not it,” he said softly. He led her forward until she was standing next to his old desk.
“Then what? John, why are we here?”
John hesitated. He bent and kissed her softly, his hands on her shoulders. “Helena…” he spoke slowly. “Helena…” he started again. “It’s time for you to get this over with.”
It only took her a moment to realize what he meant. “We’re not alone are we? Who else is here?” She turned her head, searching for audio clues.
“Helena.” Lee said softly. He stood by the window on the other side of the room.
“Lee?”
John squeezed her shoulders, then firmly placed her hand on the desk to orient her to the room. “I’ll be just outside.” He stepped away and she heard the door between the office and the rest of Main Mission closing. He had left her here. Alone. With Lee.
The silence in the room was deafening. She could hear her own heartbeat pounding in her ears. She could hear the soft whoosh of the air vent just above her and to her right. It was over the back door to John’s office, the one that led to the stairway. For a moment she considered fleeing to that door. That’s when she realized how well John had engineered this. She never wore her commlock when she wore this dress. There was nowhere to hang it on the stylish and provocative dress. Any calls would be routed through John’s commlock. Doors in the lower section also had touchpads, but the commander’s private office was dedicated to commlock key only. She could leave only when John, or Lee, allowed it.
She drew a deep calming breath. Then another. Lee remained quiet. She had no idea where he was in the room, but he was obviously giving her time to come to grips with this.
“I mourned you for years.”
“I know.” He had moved closer. He was now standing where the globe had been. She wondered where the globe was now. Perhaps it was still standing there? She pictured Lee standing next to it. His hand gently caressing the world they had lost.
She closed her eyes, trying to get rid of such an image. He would look almost as he had when she had last seen him, climbing into that van that would take him to his waiting Eagle, and thence to the Astro 7 Probe.
“No, you don’t know. It hurt to keep breathing. You were just… gone. No word, no goodbye. No body to bury. I hoped and I hoped. ‘Missing around Jupiter’ they said. They never said ‘dead’. They always said ‘lost.’” She turned to face him even though she couldn’t see him. “For a while I fooled myself into thinking you were still out there somewhere. And for a while, the news media stirred my hopes. Since the Space Program couldn’t figure out what happened, the journalists were free to speculate every wild theory they could find.”
She put her hands over her scarred face. “They would knock on our door and ask me the most awful questions. I sold the house. I couldn’t live there any more, with every item in it reminding me of you. I moved to London. I worked there for several years before coming here.” She looked up from her hands, her fists clinched. “I thought perhaps here, where I had never been with you, I could find a way to live again. I had no thought of ever, ever marrying again, loving anyone again. Certainly not the way I had loved you. I could never do that again.”
“But you got past that,” he said. His voice came from closer this time.
“Things changed. Oh how they changed. She turned and walked around the large desk, following the edge with the tips of her fingers. She knew this room well. They had fought for their lives here, and she had fallen in love here, against her better judgment. “We’re still alive, still surviving here because of one man: John Koenig. He has kept us together, lead us through things … you wouldn’t believe the things that have happened to us.”
“I’ve heard some things. You’re right, they’re pretty unbelievable. Almost mythological.”
“They are. But they were real. I was there. John watched over everyone, protected us all, saved us time and again. But he loved me. And he waited patiently while my own heart healed so I could love him too.” She smiled. “And that’s saying a lot. John Koenig is not a patient man.” She had come to the end of the desk. There were steps to her right, but all the furniture had been moved down to other rooms. John’s chair was at his new desk in Command Center.
“And now here you are.”
“All I wanted to do was see you. It hurts like hell, but I understand that you’ve… moved on.”
“Moved on? Moved on?” She shouted, incredulous. “Of course I haven’t moved on. I love you as much as I ever did, you idiot. But now there’s John and there’s Neil, and there’s all of Alpha watching me and trying to figure out what I’m going to do.” She leaned against the desk. “And I don’t know,” she said more softly. “I have no idea how to handle this. All I could do was put it off… as long as possible.”
Lee’s hands were on her shoulders and then her arms were around him.
“I’ll never stop loving you,” she said fiercely, head tucked against his chest as she had always hugged him in the past. “It would be easier to stop breathing.”
He kissed her temple and held her tightly. “Oh, Helena. I wish I hadn’t complicated your life like this.”
“I wish you hadn’t either. But I can’t wish you weren’t here either.”
He held her for a while, until she was ready to pull back. She turned her scarred face up to his, green eyes still clear, if sightless. “I can’t possibly leave him.”
He placed his forehead against hers. “I know. I understand. You know I can’t stop loving you either?”
She touched his cheek softly. “That’s one thing I have never doubted.” She stepped back from him. “Lee, I’m not up to small talk just now, but we’ll talk again, okay?”
“Any time you’d like.”
She gestured to the door. “Can you…” she didn’t speak further about the fact that he and her current husband were effectively holding her captive here.
“Certainly.” Lee pulled his commlock from his belt and opened the door.
As promised, John was waiting on the other side of the door. “Helena?” John said. She knew exactly where he was standing by that one word. She walked straight to him, pulled back her hand and slapped him hard with incredible accuracy. Then she swept down the three steps, steps she knew all too well, and headed out of Main Mission without hesitation.
John Koenig
John had been sitting on the steps that led down from his old office, waiting for the doors to open. When he heard the beep of door opening he stood and took the two short steps to the door. He was fully aware that Helena would most likely be mad at him for tricking her into coming here, but he still didn’t expect the slap.
Lee came to stand beside him as she stormed out of the room.
He pulled his commlock from his belt and touched a button. “Alice?”
“Yes, Commander?”
“She’s just left Main Mission and I expect is heading for the elevator. I don’t think she wants to be with me for a while.”
“I’ll see that she gets safely home, John.”
“Thanks.”
He returned the commlock to his belt and he returned to sitting on the steps. Lee sat beside him. “I do love that woman,” he said.
“I do too,” Lee sighed. “She’s beautiful when she’s pissed isn’t she?”
John nodded.
After a moment’s silence, Lee said. “So, tell me about this job in hydroponics.”
“Grandpa.” Lisel sat back and looked at him. “You’re Lee Russell. You’re Grandma’s first husband.”
“Correct. I knew you would catch on.”
“I thought I would find you here,” a familiar voice boomed from behind her.
Lisel turned and looked and leaped from her chair into the old man’s arms. “Poppop! What are you doing here?”
“The opportunity arose, so I thought I’d come home for a visit.”
Lisel pulled back, still holding onto his shoulders. “Did Mama come home too?”
The old man’s blue eyes twinkled. “As a matter of fact, my daughter did accompany me!”
“Oh my gosh! I’ve got to go see her!” She kissed both grandfathers and dashed from the room, both dinner and story forgotten.
Alan Carter eased into the chair his granddaughter had recently vacated and called up an order on his commlock. “I didn’t mean to chase her away.”
Lee shrugged. “She’s young. And, she’s been wanting to talk to her mother. We weren’t expecting either of you for several months.”
“One of the scientists here on loan has been called home unexpectedly, a clan issue. I saw the opportunity to come with the packet ship sent to pick him up and here we are. So, what is Lisel up to?”
“An issue over a boy. She and Neil have been at odds over it and Helena has been trying to play the peacemaker. Helena wanted her to know about John.”
“It’s about time. Everyone has babied her too much. Including my daughter.”
Lee smiled indulgently. “She is the youngest. I suppose we have all hated to see her grow up. Helena started telling her, but it got to be too much for her. Even after all these years, the emotions are too raw. I’m not sure I’m doing such a good job either.”
A small robotic server rolled up next to the table with a bottle of wine and two glasses. Carter poured and set the bottle on the table in between. “Well, don’t think you’re going to pass it off on me. I wasn’t even here for the worst parts.”
“The worst parts. No, you weren’t here for those.” Lee frowned, then smiled at his old friend. “You were luckier than that.”
