John entered the Medical Center to find his wife sleeping. He eased over by the bed and quietly pulled a chair so that he could sit next to her. He reached for her hand holding it gently. Fingering her wedding band, he thought about their wedding day. She was so beautiful in her wedding white dress but now she lay in front of him, pale and gaunt. He pressed the finger with the ring to his lips. He didn't want to lose her. She was everything to him. John knew that his actions a few weeks before had damaged their relationship, he hoped that the damage could be healed. Alan was right, he had to support her and not fight against her for the sake of her health, the baby and their marriage. He was still sitting with her when Helena stirred and turned over on her side. Koenig slipped off his boots and eased into the bed next to his wife, careful not to disturb her. He held her as she slept, her familiar gentle breathing acting as a lullaby.
When the duty nurse checked on Helena she found the doctor and the Commander sound asleep. She lowered the lights and left them alone.
Early the next morning, Helena was awakened by the feeling of familiar arms around her waist. She turned slightly and saw John's head next to hers on the pillow. Smiling, she closed her eyes, thinking that maybe things would work out for them.
John stirred. "You asleep?"
"Mostly. What're you doing here?"
"I came to talk, but you were asleep. I've missed you."
She hadn't opened her eyes yet. Feeling him next to her she could almost imagine they were still at home and none of the awful things they had said to each other were anything more than a dream. "I've missed you too," she admitted, holding him as tightly as the IV's in her arm would allow.
"Helena, if I could take back the things I said, I would."
"I know," she said slowly. She really didn't want to deal with this right now, but he seemed intent on talking. "But you can't do that, and I can't pretend I didn't hear them."
"I love you so much. I'm so scared of being without you," he whispered into her ear. Here in the dark, with his eyes closed was probably the only way he could admit that.
"I told you I wouldn't leave you, and I won't. But I've got to have this baby, John. I've got to," she whispered back.
"They'll do the tests on the baby this morning won't they?"
"Yes."
"I'm going to be there-- hold your hand. And if the results show the baby is ok--" he hesitated only a bit, but Helena sensed it. "-- then I'll help every way I can to make sure both you and our baby is ok."
"You mean it?"
"With all my heart."
They both fell into a more relaxed sleep than they had experienced in weeks.
Bob Mathias entered the Medical Center at the beginning of the first shift. He went to his desk to check the Helena's chart. A look at the visual monitor to ICU made him smile. As he scanned the sheet his smile widened. He was pleased to see that Helena's vitals indicated that she was recovering from her bout with morning sickness. He looked up from the report as Kate Goldburg entered his office.
"I hope that smile indicates good news."
"This latest bout of extreme morning sickness seems to have subsided somewhat." He knew exactly why she was in Medical Center at a time when she should be well into her day's work.
"The test is this morning?"
"Yes, but we won't know the full results for a few days yet." He glanced at the monitor again and couldn't resist another smile. He was debating whether to wake them up or let them sleep a while longer.
"There's something more than test results that are making you smile." Kate insisted.
Bob turned the monitor so she could see what he was seeing. The Koenigs were clinging together on the small hospital bed, sound asleep.
"Very touching," she said, her voice dripping sarcasm. "Bob, he's practically torturing her," she fumed.
"Helena isn't a complete innocent in this either, Kate," Bob reminded her sternly. "The two need to start somewhere. There have been times lately that they couldn't stand to be in the same room together."
"Who's watching their kids?" Kate asked. She knew that John wasn't likely to call her, but the friends Helena usually shared childcare duty with, the Devers and the Frasers, had both been at breakfast with
just their own offspring when she had left to come down here.
Bob sighed. He hoped Kate wouldn't exacerbate the situation, but she had a good point. "I'll have to ask him."
John eased out of Helena's bed, pulling the blanket back over her. He slipped on his boots and was about to leave when he ran into Mathias and Kate.
"Morning, John."
"Bob, Kate."
"Visiting Helena?" Bob asked, feeling grateful that Kate was so far keeping quiet.
"I came by last night to talk, and we fell asleep," Koenig grinned sheepishly. It wasn't exactly the first time this had happened.
"Did you have a chance to talk any?"
"Yes, a bit. I know you're doing the tests later and Helena is pretty anxious about it. I promised to come back and hold her hand."
"Who's watching the children, John?" Kate asked.
"Carter is with them. They should be waking up about now."
"He stayed with them all night?" Kate asked.
John looked at her mildly. "He offered to stay while I came and talked to Helena. It was his suggestion. I know he wouldn't leave until I returned. The children are in good hands." Something about Kate's tone raised his hackles and he couldn't resist adding, "You and Helena have both reminded me lately that you're her nutritionist, as well as her friend. That doesn't give you the right to question my decisions as a parent."
He turned and stormed out of the Medical Center.
"I think I touched a nerve."
"I think you didn't help much. Helena needs all our support. That was the first time John has stayed longer than a few minutes in days, and certainly the first time they've managed to talk any. It was a good start."
"Let's hope those test results give us good news," Kate replied.
John may have talked to Helena, but that was only one small step down a long road to reconciling.
Keisha
July, 1999