She sat curled up on the end of the couch, a pillow pushed between the arm of the couch and her back, another pillow clutched to her middle. Her legs were drawn up against the pillow and her eyes were closed, although sleep would not come. She was too uncomfortable to fall asleep, and the timing was wrong.
Damn! Why did this have to happen now? She had other plans, better things to do... The timing was bad, on so many levels.
Sighing heavily, Helena Russell shifted position slightly, trying to get more comfortable. It wasn't working, there was no comfortable way to sit, or lay, or even stand. But she readily admitted that, the mood she was in, she doubted she would be comfortable in any position. Taking a deep breath, Helena released it as a shuddering sigh, swallowing back the tears that were about to fall.
Koenig finished his post flight checks, stood, and left the cockpit of the Eagle. He smiled to the maintenance crew, just arriving to service the craft and ready it for his return flight in five days. He grabbed his flight bag from the storage rack and exited the craft. He took the first travel tube heading for the living quarters after checking in with Command Center and the Commander, as protocol demanded. Koenig received his guest quarters assignment with a knowing smile from Paul Morrow, as if he too was aware that Koenig would be spending very little time there and the guest quarters assignment was only a formality.
Stepping from the travel tube, John headed down the hall toward Helena's quarters. He knew she was off duty and knew she was expecting him. This time he'd been able to send her a quick message to alert her of his arrival. John hadn't been able to wait for Helena's reply, but he wasn't worried. She was always anxious and delighted to see him. Pulling his commlock from his belt, John entered Helena's security code as he neared her door.
Helena looked up from her place on the couch when her door opened. John stood framed in the doorway a moment, then stepped further into the room as the door closed behind him. His smile faded and he paused a moment when Helena stayed curled on the couch instead of rushing into his arms. Her expression was not one of joy, but more of annoyance and she was apparently not pleased to see him.
"Helena."
""How was your flight, John?"
"It was fine..." John moved further into the room, coming over to the couch and dropping his flight bag to the floor. He sat as close to Helena as he could, aware she made no attempt to move, keeping her knees and feet between them. She looked as if she might have been crying, and John reached out to caress her leg, still puzzled by her lack of response to him.
"Helena, are you all right? You look... well, kind of pale, and not too happy to see me."
Helena shook her head and closed her eyes a moment, then looked back at John, giving him a weak smile.
"I am glad to see you, John, and no, I'm not all right. I'm bloated, my breasts hurt, I have a back ache and the worst case of cramps I've had in years. My emotions are on a roller coaster ride, I have a headache that won't go away, and as glad as I am to see you, the last thing we'll be doing while you're here is having sex... I also think you should stay in your guest quarters so there will be no chance of misinterpreted actions or misunderstandings."
John had slowly eased back, his eyes growing wide. He nodded and glanced at where his hand rested on Helena's knee. Carefully he removed it and rested it on the couch between them. It took him a minute before he could speak - or had any idea of what to say. He latched on to the one positive thing he'd heard.
"But... you are glad to see me...?"
"I know what I just said sounds horrible, John, but... I can't help it. I am glad you're here and I am happy to see you, and if... well, the timing is bad."
Koenig nodded and reached for Helena's hand, sliding slightly closer to her. He stretched over and kissed her cheek gently, meeting her gaze. "Bad timing aside, can we still spend some time together while I'm here? We can do other things besides make love."
Despite her mood, Helena chuckled softly as she studied John's face. Lately it seemed they did little else but make love when they were together, especially since they saw each other so seldom now that she was stationed on Alpha and John was still on Earth. When they were together, their libidos took over and they came up for air only when they were hungry or had to report for duty. A distant smile touched Helena's eyes, but she shook her head.
"I'm lousy company right now, John."
"I don't mind. You've seen me at my worst."
"I mind and this isn't the same. I don't want you to see me like this."
"Like what? A beautiful woman who is having a bad day or two? I can handle that."
"Thank you, John, but... I need to be alone. I can't explain it, but that's what I need... along with about a ton of chocolate."
Koenig slowly nodded and gave Helena's hand a gentle squeeze. "All right. I don't know as I completely understand, Helena, but... I'll call you later, okay?"
"Okay. John... I am sorry."
He met her gaze steadily for a long moment, able to see she really was sorry and deeply wished things could be the way they had both anticipated. He kissed her tenderly, then stood. John grabbed his flight bag from where he'd dropped it by the end of the couch, looked at Helena another long moment, then left her quarters. As the door closed, John heard Helena take a deep breath that could have been the prelude to tears.
This wasn't right. He should stay with her and take care of her, but Helena didn't seem to want him near her, and he had to respect her request that he leave her alone. Lost in thought, John turned and headed back toward the travel tube stop.
"You look like a man whose plans for lots of nookie have just been grounded."
Koenig glanced up, gave Alan Carter a hard glare, then nodded. The travel tube arrived and they stepped into the car. No one else was there so they had it to themselves. John sighed heavily and sat on one of the molded plastic chairs, Carter sitting opposite him.
"I don't get it, Alan. She says she's glad to see me, but doesn't want me around."
"Why?"
"She said she doesn't want me to see her like that."
"Like what?"
John ran his hand over the back of his neck and shrugged. "Like she is, I guess... She gave me a whole long list of symptoms and said the last thing that would happen while I was here this time is us having sex. She even said she thought I should stay in my assigned guest quarters so there would be no... misunderstandings. Then she said again she was glad to see me. I don't get it, Alan."
Carter took a deep breath and shook his head, trying very hard not to chuckle. "For a man who was married once, you don't know much about women do you? Sounds to me like you've been slung out due to a case of 'that time of the month'."
John's mouth fell open slightly as he met Carter's gaze. The Australian pilot nodded knowingly.
"Why didn't she just say so?"
"Sounds to me like she did. You just weren't understanding."
John shook his head, amazed at his ability to completely miss what she was telling him. "Yeah, I think you're right, Alan. Helena did say it hadn't been this bad in a long time... Damn! Now what? I want to help, but I left, just as she told me to... This is all kind of new to me, Alan. Jean never... well, if she had these symptoms, she never told me about them."
Alan Carter shook his head as he studied his friend carefully. "I know just what you need to do, John. Was there any mention of 'a ton of chocolate' by chance?"
"Yes, Helena said... How do you know about that?" Koenig sat forward, his expression suspicious, ready to rise and beat the hell out of his best friend if need be. Alan held his hands up to warn John off, having a good idea of what was racing through Koenig's mind.
"Get that thought out of your head right now, Captain. I did not have too many of my own lethal margueritas, get the sisters mixed up and try to boink the wrong one! Helena would have separated me from my family jewels and Melissa would have hung my out to dry by any that Helena left intact..."
John winced at the image, then sat back, unable to restrain a chuckle. Alan had described each sister's reaction perfectly.
"Yes, you're right. Sorry. But how did you come by that information?"
"Let's just say the topics Melissa picks for pillow talk aren't exactly...conventional."
"I think we'd better keep this between us, Alan. If Helena were ever to find out Melissa has... shared this information..."
"Yeah."
"But next time you see Melissa, tell her thank you from me. So, what should I do?"
Carter smiled as he sat forward. "Bill Fraser is flying the next shuttle up isn't he?"
"Yes, it leaves Earth in about 2 hours..." John began to understand and smiled as he nodded. He reached for his commlock and put through a call to Bill Fraser on Earth.
Helena had just gotten off duty the next day and was again curled up on the end of the couch. She still felt miserable, and while the cramps were a bit better, the rest of her symptoms were still present, especially the lower backache.
John had been true to his word. He'd called her before bed the night before, and again before breakfast that morning. They ate lunch together and she had to credit him with trying to be helpful and understanding. He was concerned for her, worried about her, but at a loss for what he could - or should - do to help her.
Startled when the door to her quarters opened, Helena was reaching for her commlock to summon security when she once again saw John framed in the doorway to her quarters. He carried a large box tied together with a ribbon. Stepping into the room as the door closed behind him, John crossed to the couch and placed the box on the low table by the couch.
"John?"
He smiled as their gazes met and he nodded toward the box. "Open it."
Helena sat forward and reached to pull the box into her lap. She untied the ribbon and lifted off the cover. The unmistakable scent of chocolate filled the air and she pushed the cushioning paper aside to find a cache of chocolate in the form of several large blocks of solid milk chocolate and several bags of smaller, individually wrapped chocolate pieces. Helena stared at John, her eyes wide with amused bewilderment and appreciation.
"John...?"
"I couldn't manage a ton of chocolate, but I hope this will help a little."
Helena moved the box aside and pulled John down beside her on the couch. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. "Thank you." She sniffled briefly, her raging emotions nearly giving way to tears. Then she pulled back and eyed John warily.
"I'm not sharing."
John chuckled and shook his head as he pulled Helena's arms from around his neck and held her hands in his. He met her gaze.
"No, it's all for you. The only thing I want is to be near you, to help you feel better, to do whatever I can to help you through this."
Helena swallowed hard as she studied John carefully. "Most men would run in the opposite direction when confronted with PMS this severe."
"I'm not most men. I know that I have absolutely no clue what this is like for you, but I can see what it does to you, and I don't like it. Just let me stay, let me take care of you - pamper you, stand in the line of fire if you need to throw things,... unwrap the chocolate for you..."
Helena dissolved into a fit of giggles that bordered on sobs. John reached out and carefully pulled her into his arms. It felt so good to hold her and he felt Helena relax into his embrace. They eased back on the couch and just sat there for a few moments. Finally John placed a kiss on the top of Helena's head as he gently caressed her shoulders.
"I love you, Helena. All I ever want is for you to be happy."
"I know, John. I'm sorry I'm such a mess right now."
"That's hardly something you have any control over. As you said before - the timing is just bad. Now, what can I do to help?"
Helena eased up to meet John's gaze. "I would really like a back rub."
"Done. Go lie down. I'll get the lotion."
"I do love you, John."
"I know. Go on." John helped Helena to her feet. He headed for the bathroom to get the hand lotion he'd use for her back rub. Helena quickly changed into her bathrobe, then laid down on her stomach on her bed, her robe draped across her lower body. She pillowed her head on her crossed arms and watched John as he sat beside her on the bed.
"John, I think it only fair to warn you... If I feel your hands anywhere but on my back, you will be in serious need of medical attention."
Koenig moved up on the bed so he could meet Helena's gaze more easily. He took her hand gently. "When have you ever said no that I haven't listened?"
Helena glanced away, then back at John. "I don't think I've ever told you no before."
He squeezed her hand and nodded. "You're right, you haven't, but... I will listen, Helena."
"I know. It's just..."
He shook his head as he placed a finger lightly over Helena's lips to still her protest. "It's all right... Helena, I do have to ask one thing."
"What?"
"Does this happen often? I mean,... do I have to tread lightly every month or..."
Helena quickly chuckled and shook her head. "No. Usually it's just one or two symptoms that last no more than a day. I'm not sure why I got everything all at once this month, but I think it may have something to do with my body still adjusting to conditions here on the moon. All I'm certain of is that it sucks, big time."
She could see a quick smile of relief cross John's face, then she relaxed slightly, settling onto the bed. "I seem to recall something about a back rub..."
John stood, moved to the end of the bed and opened the bottle of lotion. He was about to squeeze some onto his palm when Helena raised her head and looked back over her shoulder at him.
"John, before you start... would you get me some chocolate?"
He chuckled and complied. As Helena savored the taste of the rich, creamy confection, allowing it to melt in her mouth, John began to slowly and gently massage her back. He bent close and placed one kiss on the side of her neck, whispering into her ear. Helena sighed with contentment. Maybe, with John's pampering, her symptoms would fade more quickly and the timing wouldn't be so bad after all.
* * * * *
* * * * *
Amanda Russell
February 6, 2000