“Talk to me Mel, I’m about to fall asleep here.”
“Okay, let me turn the radio down. That station was fading out anyway.”
“Speaking of fading out. I can see the scenery has put all three kids to sleep.”
“West Texas is a bit monotonous.”
“A bit! That’s an understatement, love. It’s downright boring. Tell me again why we decided to drive it.”
“Geoff has wanted to see Carlsbad Caverns ever since he did that report on caves last year. And we thought it would be fun to do some camping.”
“Well, we should have flown. Skipped the Gulf coast and West Texas. There’s nothing out here but rocks and cactus.”
“It’s not a very hospitable place, that’s for sure. But it’s easier to get around out west with a car. It’ll be fun once we get to New Mexico. A couple of days at the caverns, White Sands, then up to Albuquerque and over to the Grand Canyon.”
“Right now it’s just boring.”
“Okay, let’s talk. Tell me, what’s the best lay you ever had, present company excepted of course.”
“Mel, the kids—“
“Have been snoring for the past fifty miles. They won’t be awake for ages.”
“I still don’t think that’s the best subject. Keep in mind we’ll be sleeping in tents tonight, with the kids in the tent next to us.”
“We can be quiet when we have to be.”
“Oh, yeah, sure. That’s why your sister insisted on buying new mattresses at your parent’s house.”
“It was the squeaky mattresses she was complaining of, not our moans of ecstasy.”
“I think Helena was trying to be subtle and let us know they could hear us.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. You don’t do subtle very well, love.”
“It’s never been my strong suit. Was that an exit sign?”
“I haven’t seen an exit in about a hundred miles.”
“Well don’t miss the one to Pecos. The next one is about forty miles away. I’d hate to have to turn around and come back.”
“No way in hell am I taking a forty mile detour.”
“Eighty, actually, once you get to the next exit and turn back.”
“I’ll go on to El Paso, sell the Navigator and fly us all home before I’ll turn around and go back.”
“You don’t really mean that!”
“Try me, sweetheart. Did the kids eat all those twinkies we picked up in Sonora?”
“I think there was one left. Let me check.”
“Hey, get your butt out of my face!”
“I thought you liked my butt. I can see them, they’re right behind my seat on the floor.”
“It’s a bit distracting love.”
“Alan Carter! You pinched me.”
“You put it right in my face! It was too much temptation.”
“Here. I got it. Want me to unwrap it for you?”
“It looks like it’s been stepped on.”
“Well, Geoff kicked off his sneakers. The twinkie was under them.”
“Euwww!”
“It was still sealed!”
“Yeah, but still. I think I’ll survive without it.”
“Remember the first time we drove around in Texas together? You didn’t have problems falling asleep then.”
“That’s for sure. Don’t even think about it, Mel. One of the kids would be bound to wake up.”
“Okay, okay, but don’t say I didn’t offer.”
“I won’t.”
“Where is your hand?”
“You used to wear skirts when we travel.”
“We didn’t have a luggage carrier on the roof. I don’t like climbing up there to let all and sundry get their thrills.”
“Liar. You love the attention. The more, the better.”
“Not from my eight-year-old.”
“Well, maybe not.”
“Aren’t you afraid we’ll wake the kids with my moans of ecstasy?”
You said they were snoring.”
“You said I couldn’t keep quiet. Hey I’m only teasing. Don’t stop.”
“I don’t want to stop. My word, you’re wet.”
“I always am when you’re close by.”
“Hey, that sign said Fort Stockton is ten miles ahead. Maybe there’s a Dairy Queen there.”
“This is Texas. There’s always a Dairy Queen.”
“Ice cream?”
“And coffee. According to the map the road from here to Pecos is two laned. We’d better not get behind some old pickup truck hauling hay and going ten miles per hour.”
“We’ll worry about that after we stop for ice cream.”
“Mommy? Are we there yet?”
Maureen J. Long