It had been six days since they had seen each other. Their parting at the end of last weekend had been the most difficult one so far and he was certainly glad that work was requiring him to spend so much time in Florida. He would be coming on Friday could she pick him up at the airport?
She left work early and stopped at the mall to do a bit of shopping. She went in only one store and emerged with several skimpy items that she planned to wear for him.
As he flew from Texas, he thought of nothing but her. Hoping that she was starting to feel the same things he was. He was so deep in thought that he barely heard his wingman and friend Alan Carter call the tower for clearance to land. His mind snapped back to the present and he skillfully landed his craft eager to see her again.
"Who is she?" Alan asked as they grabbed their gear and headed inside.
"What you mean?" John shrugged, trying to act as if he didn’t know what Alan was talking about.
Alan laughed, "You know who I mean. The Sheila that’s got your mind in a fog. You didn’t say ten words between here and Houston. She must really be something."
John was now laughing. He and Alan had been friends for a long time. Conceding to his friend he simply said, "She is." He slapped Alan on the shoulder as they entered the building.
He spotted her immediately, standing by the counter. She was casually dressed in blue shorts, a white sleeveless blouse, and sandals. She smiled when she saw him and immediately moved in his direction.
"Helena," he captured her in his arms giving her a tight squeeze as he hugged her.
"Hi. How was your flight?" She said into his ear as she hugged him back.
"It was fine." He released her, staring into her shinning eyes. From behind him, John heard Alan clear his throat. Alan was beginning to think he’d been forgotten. John pulled his gaze from Helena and turned in his direction, "This is Alan Carter. He’s a friend of mine from flight school. He’s working on the Meta Probe too."
Alan stuck out his hand to greet her and as he accepted her hand he was immediately captivated by her intense green eyes. He now understood why his friend was so distracted on the flight.
"Hello, I’m Alan."
"I’m Helena Russell," she said simply. "Well, I bet you men are hungry. Am I right?"
John looked briefly at Alan who had been complaining since Pensacola that he was starving.
"I think we can do with something to eat. But I could probably do with a shower first."
"Okay, why don’t we go back to my house and I’ll fix us something to eat and you two can clean up." She turned gesturing to the parking lot where her car was parked. Both men nodded their heads in agreement and they followed her outside.
As they approached her car, John noticed she already had the top down. She handed him the keys and John opened the trunk. He noticed the little pink and white striped bag as he tossed in their gear. He smiled widely as he speculated on what might be in the bag. Alan slid into the back seat as John and Helena occupied the front. John reached over and squeezed Helena’s hand as she reached for her sunglasses. She winked at him, a promise to things to come later.
As they pulled out of the parking lot, Helena mentioned that her sister was in town. "She came in on her sailboat. Would you two mind if we stopped at the Marina to pick her up?" The two men looked at each other, neither had any specific plans for the evening. "Great," Helena replied.
They arrived at the Blue Water Marina at sunset and Helena pointed to a 25 foot white Catalina docked on the third finger pier from the end. The name of the boat was Wind Seeker. A woman was below deck in the small cabin attempting to replace a light inside the cabin. Judging by the language she was using as she struggled with the light, she was having little luck.
"What in the world are you doing in there?" Helena called from the pier. A shapely blonde crawled out of the cabin and into the cockpit of the craft. The two men on the pier stood motionless and stared at the woman. She was an exact duplicate of Helena. John looked at Helena then at the woman then at Helena again. Helena looked at him with a puzzled expression on her face. "John?"
"Helena, she--you--twins? You never said you had a twin sister," he finally managed to say.
Helena smiled realizing that she didn’t tell him that she had a twin sister. "I’m sorry. This is my sister Melissa. Melissa, this is John Koenig and Alan Carter."
Melissa climbed out of the boat. "Hi, you must be John. She’s talked non-stop about you all week." Helena was blushing when John glanced in her direction.
"And you’re Alan?" She said shaking Alan’s hand. Alan smiled broadly. She was wearing a revealing red sundress and he was trying hard not to stare at her prominent cleavage. "Yes, I am," he finally managed to say.
"Are you ready for dinner, we’re headed up to the house," Helena asked.
"I’m starving. I’ll deal with this light later." She tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder before stepping back on the boat.
From the parking lot, Helena’s cell phone sounded. "I’m on call this weekend, I’ll meet you back at the car." Helena returned to the car and John followed her.
"Need any help closing her up?" Alan asked. He moved from the dock on to the boat with ease. "Let me take a look at that light, maybe I can fix it for you." He stepped into the cabin and in a matter for seconds had the light repaired.
"How did you do that?" Melissa asked. "Show me."
"Nothing to it, you just move this panel like this..." Alan stopped talking as Melissa moved next to him as he sat on the seat cushion. Her perfume was distracting and she had placed her hand on his upper thigh as she watched. "Then what?" She said waiting for Alan to continue.
"Then you just place this here, move this there, and there you are," he shrugged and smiled at her.
"Well," she said. "Guess I was doing it the hard way." Her smile was bright as she looked in his eyes. "Thank you."
"Anytime," he smiled back, still fighting the urge to stare at her breasts.
"Alan, do you sail? Would you like to go later?" She offered as she gathered her things.
"I love to sail! Haven’t been in years." He helped her lock the vessel before helping her onto the dock.
"Great! We can go after dinner if you like. Are you staying at Helena’s too?"
"No, I’m staying at the Coastal Condos. Are you?"
"I did last night but I’m going to stay on the boat tonight. I wouldn’t want to interrupt...that," she pointed in the direction of Helena’s car. Alan smiled. John and Helena were tangled in a serious clinch. "It’s been a long time since my sister has been interested in romance and I’m not about to interfere." Alan understood completely. "It’s been a long time for John too."
As Helena prepared dinner and John took his shower, Alan and Melissa had some time to get to know each other. They sat out on the back porch in a pair of rockers and watched the moon reflecting on the water. He told her about his career in the space program and she told him about hers as a travel agent. Each discovered that the other was presently unattached. They continued to make small talk until John joined them to announce that dinner was ready.
Helena had prepared a meal of salad, boiled shrimp, scallops, and potatoes. John selected a California white wine and the four sat down to dinner. The conversation during dinner was lively. John and Alan told embarrassing stories about one another, each trying to top the other. Finally, Melissa asked why they were in town and John explained that they had an early morning meeting with Victor. Bergman had been granted permission to work with Koenig and Carter on the Meta Probe experiment. They were to meet first thing Saturday morning. "Well, I guess that means you need to get to bed early earlier then." Melissa looked across the table at Alan.
"Not so early that we can’t take that sail you offered me." Alan answered as he finished his wine.
"Oh, you two are going sailing?" Helena glanced over at John hoping she didn’t appear too eager to be alone with him.
Melissa caught the look in her twin’s eye. "Yes, I offered to take Alan out since he repaired my light." She nodded toward Alan. "I guess we should be going before it gets too late. Helena, do you want me to help you clean up?"
"I’ll help her," John offered, almost a little too quickly. "You guys can get out of here."
"Are you sure?" Alan asked. "It won’t take long if we all pitch in."
"It’s fine, really. I’m just going to throw everything in the dishwasher." Helena pointed in the direction of the kitchen.
"Okay. Can we use you car, sis?" Melissa rose from the table looking around for Helena’s keys.
"They’re on the table in the hall." John pointed to the small oak table.
"Great! Thanks for dinner."
"Yeah, thanks Helena it was great." Alan said as he handed the keys to Melissa.
"Anytime. Have fun." She smiled fondly at her twin.
"Don’t be late Alan," John shouted as they closed the door. Alan gave him a quick wave in return.
Helena moved into the kitchen loading the dishwasher as John removed the dishes. They talked as they cleaned catching up on the week’s activities. When they were finished, Helena turned on the machine. With the dishwasher purring in the background, they moved into the den.
"Would you like some coffee?" Helena offered.
"I don’t think so." John was grinning as he had other thoughts on his mind. She returned his smile.
"What would you like to do?" She knew already knew the answer.
"Well, " he said easing up behind her and leaning his lips close to her ear." I’d like to see what’s in that little pink and white bag. I brought it inside." He motioned toward her bedroom.
"And just what do you think is in that bag?" She mused, turning around in his arms to face him.
"Something for me, I hope."
She shot him a seductive look and teased. "I’m not going to show you."
"You’d better show me or else." He laughed.
"Or else what?" She reached up and mused his hair"
Or else this." He caught her hands and pushed her against the wall. He leaned down and kissed her passionately. His hands gripped her shirt as he untucked it from her shorts. As they came up for air, she licked her lips. "Okay you win, I’ll show you what’s in the bag. Why don’t you make yourself at home." She ran her hand down his chest before she moved away. He watched her go into the bedroom. Helena turned to smile at him as she closed the door.
"Don’t take too long," he called as he moved over to the couch to await her return.
"John," Helena stepped out of the bedroom. She was wearing a beautiful white lacy negligee. It had thin spaghetti straps that were a bit to long and exposed quite a bit of cleavage. John looked up from the book he was pretending to read. She was stunning. "Helena, you take my breath away." He rose from the couch grinning ear to ear. She smiled as she held out one finger and motioned him inside her bedroom.
John followed her into the darken bedroom. She pressed her body against his. He kissed her shoulders, slowly moving the thin straps from her shoulder down her arm. With their passions rising, they touched each other eagerly "Helena," he whispered against her ear. His hands were moving over her body. He attempted to move them over to the bed but she stopped him. "Let’s try something different," she suggested.
"What’d you have in mind?"
"Let me show you," she looked up seductively.
She walked around in front of him and pulled his hands around her waist. She pulled him against her feeling his excitement when he pressed his body to hers. Koenig touched her skin though the silky fabric sending waves of pleasure throughout her body. "Follow me," her voice was thick with desire. He followed willingly.
They walked through her den and out onto the porch. The ceiling fans were on and there was a soft sea breeze crossing the patio. "Here?" he said reluctantly.
"No one will see, it’s dark here." She reached up and pulled his shirt over his head. "Scared?" She teased.
His response was a deep growl as he looked around the deck "Where?" he asked.
"Here, " she pointed to the white rocker.
She reached up and pulled his lips down to hers kissing him deeply. If he was harboring any apprehensions about making love on the porch, it was gone. He gently lifted the thin straps off her shoulders allowing them to fall down her arms. As her gown fell to the floor, he once again thanked Sir Isaac Newton for his discovery of gravitational pull. She removed his clothes and they stood naked in the moonlight.
Helena placed a cushion in the rocker then led John over to the seat and gently guided him down onto the cushion. He was enjoying the view of her standing naked in the moonlight. She gracefully positioned herself on his lap, sitting mostly on his knees as she held onto the top of the rocker. They kissed passionately, each exploring the others body. Helena raised up slightly and moved up so their bodies could fully connect. She moaned softly as she started rocking the chair back and forth.
John’s body tensed as the intensity of Helena’s rocking continued. Having been together before, he’d learned all her sensitive spots. In this position her most sensitive spot was exposed and he touched it, quickly bringing her to orgasm. She screamed out his name, "JOHN!" then leaned down and kissed him as she moved the rocker faster bringing him to orgasm. His body tensed against hers and shook from the sensation.
Helena and John untangled themselves and moved from the rocker to a white wicker couch. The night air combined with the ceiling fan made the porch slightly chilly. John found a large beach towel and wrapped it around them as they sat cuddling on the wicker settee. Helena laid her head on his shoulder and for a few moments they simply sat in silence. John sensed a change in Helena’s mood. "Hey, everything alright?"
She smiled against his chest still enjoying the feeling of his bare skin against hers. "John, where do you think we’re going?" It was a question that had been on her mind all week.
He tilted her head up so he could look into her eyes. His response was simple and honest, "I don’t know."
"Where do you want to go?"
"I’m not sure. I know that I want to be a part of your life, if you let me."
"You already are," she reached up to kiss him lightly.
"If we try to pursue a relationship it might be tricky. We lived in separate states, half the time we live on separate continents, and soon if Meta works out, we’ll live on separate planets."
Helena sat considering. Finally, she offered, "Maybe for now, we should go slow and enjoy the times when we can be together."
John wrapped his arms around her tightly and kissed her temple, "That sounds like a plan to me."
The next morning John eased out of bed, careful not to wake Helena. He showered and dressed before heading into the kitchen to start the coffee. After retrieving the morning paper from the drive way, he headed out to the porch with his coffee. He selected the white rocker, smiling as the pleasant memories from last night sweep through this head. From behind he heard the door open and close. Helena appeared as his side wearing his shirt. She noticed he was sitting in the rocker. "Good morning," she leaned over and kissed him. He pulled her onto to his lap and returned her kiss. "Good morning," he said when they parted.
"What do you have planned for today?" He placed his hand on her knee, moving up and down her thigh as they spoke.
"I don’t know. I’ll probably run into the office this morning." She was having a hard time concentrating as the movements of his hand almost kept her from forming a rational thought.
"Can you give me a ride?" He gave her a huge smile and his hand slipped higher. .
"Not now John, the sun is shinning and people might see us " She responded innocently batting her eyelashes. He gave her a deep laugh as he caught meaning of her joke.
"I mean to Victor’s lab?"
"Oh to Victor’s lab." She giggled "Sure I can give you a lift there."
Victor Bergman sat at the desk in his lab reviewing his findings. He wasn’t happy with the conclusions of his last experiments. His head was hurting and he rubbed his forehead trying to ease the pounding. He was under a lot of pressure and it was affecting his health. Alan Carter knocked lightly and pushed opened the door.
"Alan! Come in." Victor stood and greeted Alan.
"Professor, how’s it going?"
"Well... things could be better. Where’s John? Isn’t he with you?"
"No... I thought he was already here. Well, not to worry, Helena will see that he makes it." Alan winked at the old professor.
"Helena?" A huge smiled crossed Bergman’s face. He looked over to Alan. His eyes were bright with humor. "You know, I knew those two were meant to be together."
The two men nodded in agreement. They’d both known John Koenig a long time. There had been times after Jean’s death that they wondered if he would survive the grief. John Koenig was a man with many moods and deep feelings. Yes, they agreed, it was good to see him happy again.
Around lunchtime the three men walked to the cafeteria. The pounding in Victor’s head had eased but the pain was ever present. John noticed Victor rubbing his head several times during their meeting.
"Victor, are you alright?" His voice held concern. He’d encouraged Victor to see a doctor last week.
"Oh I’m fine, it’s just a little headache, John." The old professor smiled, he didn’t want to be a bother to anyone.
"Are you sure? If you aren’t feeling well, we can stop."
"No, I’m fine. Besides, Simmonds wants our report on the Meta probe first thing Monday."
"He might just have to wait." Under his breath Koenig cursed Simmonds. He was mad at the Space Commission and Simmonds, feeling they were pushing Victor too hard. Bergman had also been blamed for the Tony Celillni's incident and John felt that was unfair too. Victor noticed John’s change of posture. "I’m alright John, really." Koenig nodded in defeated agreement.
"Besides," Victor continued, "Don’t you have something to tell me?" Victor looked over at Alan, who was watching the old friends.
"What?"
"Helena? Remember her? How are things going with that?"
John’s face turned slightly red.
"We’re here to discuss the Meta Probe, remember?"
"We can talk about that anytime, tell me about you and Helena"
"There’s nothing to tell. I called her and we met for dinner."
Alan and Victor exchanged a knowing look.
"She’s quite a woman, you know."
"Yes, Victor. She is quite a woman. However, I think it might be more interesting to find out how Alan likes her sister?" John shot Carter and amusing glance.
"Let’s get back to the Meta Probe." Alan quickly responded.
The three men shared a hearty laugh before returning to their work.
Victor walked wearily to his car at the end of the day. His headache was back with a vengeance and he couldn’t wait to get home and relax. He pulled out of the parking lot and headed to the interstate. It would take him 30 minutes to get to home. Thirty minutes of driving into the setting sun, a grueling drive even without a headache. The sun was low in the sky, and it was bright. Victor lowered the sun visor to trying to block the relentless rays. He had little success. The longer he drove, the worst his head hurt. The pain seemed to start in the back of his head end over his left eye. As the pounding increased, his vision became fuzzy. Bergman blinked his eyes tightly trying to clear his vision. When he opened them, he saw two of everything. Suddenly, he heard the honking from a car beside him. Victor realized he’d crossed into the other car’s lane. As he turned the wheel to the opposite side, he overcompensated, swerving all over the interstate. The more he fought to gain control, the more out of control he became. He realized he’d lost control of the car. It was spinning in circles down the interstate. The last thing Victor saw was a group of trees. His car hit them with full force. When he stopped, his chest was jammed against the steering wheel, his head resting against the windshield.
Victor came to, vaguely aware of the sound of sirens nearby. He sensed someone near him and decided to open his eyes to investigate. With much effort he opened them ever so slightly and was rewarded with a searing pain that seemed to penetrate the depths of his skull. He closed them again, squeezing them shut against the pain. His thoughts were muddled. He tried to remember where he was and how he got there, but all he could concentrate on was the immense pressure on his chest. A voice penetrated the fog enveloping his brain, but he couldn't respond. He wished it would go away and leave him alone for he was so very tired. Tired and cold. He gave in to the darkness that surrounded him.
Ed Spencer had just finished his shift and about to walk out the main entrance of the surgical wing when he heard his name being called. He was very tempted to ignore it and continue walking. After a 30-hour shift all he could think about was a set of nice cool sheets. The voice was getting closer and more insistent. Dismissing his idea he turned around. Dr Evan Dean was rushing toward him. Dr. Dean was Ed Spencer's mentor during his rotation through surgery. Despite the man's obvious obsession for his vocation, Ed knew he would miss him when his internship was over.
"Ed! I'm glad I found you. There is a case coming in by air lift that you simply MUST see."
Ed allowed himself to be turned and herded back toward the surgical floor. After all, he thought to himself, sleep is only a luxury to an intern.
Ed stood outside the scrub area listening as Dr. Dean obtained a case history from the emergency room doctor. On arrival at the scene they had found the victim pinned behind the steering wheel of his motor vehicle unresponsive and unconscious. After a cursory examination it was deduced that there were no other serious injuries than the blunt thoracic trauma i.e. compression of the chest by the steering wheel. After evaluating mechanism of injury and vital signs it, was assumed that the patient suffered from a Myocardial Contusion and a possible cardiac tear. He was airlifted immediately to the nearest trauma center. A brief exam by the emergency room physician confirmed this and he was sent up immediately for surgery.
Ed was about to enter the scrub area when he heard someone calling. Turning around he found himself face to face with a beady-eyed little man with a goatee and mustache. He was shoving a ISO ID card in Ed's face and demanding to speak to the man in charge. Immediately, Ed knew he didn't like the man.
Coming back out the door, Dr. Dean placed himself between Ed and the obnoxious little man.
"Can I help you, sir?"
"Are you the man in charge?" the little man asked.
Dr. Dean nodded.
"My name is Simmonds and I was informed that you have a Victor Bergman here about to be operated on."
"Are you a relative?" Dr Dean was not about to bullied.
"No. I don't believe that he has anyone."
"Well, Mr....Uh...Simmons, we need someone who is responsible to make life or death decisions for Mr. Bergman. You see, his condition is very serious and he may need to be put on life support. Do you understand?"
Simmons thought a minute. He didn't necessarily want this kind of responsibility and his credo had always been to delegate authority so that bad decisions couldn't be directly blamed on him. "Well, there is Captain Koenig. I'll ring him immediately. Until then do what you can, Doctor."
"I assure you I will, Mr. Simmons. Now if you will excuse me?"
Intrathoracic surgeries had always fascinated Ed. They could be brutal and delicate at the same time. Entering the chest cavity was usually a brutal process of "cracking" the sternum to gain entry into the chest. This time it would not be necessary. The victim’s chest was already fractured in two. With that and the several fractured ribs it was a wonder the patient had not developed a pneumothorax or hemopneumothorax. Ed was just thinking how lucky the man had been when they made access to the heart. His heart sank.
"Well, my boy, isn't this a pretty mess." Dr. Dean supported the wounded organ with his gloved hand. Bergman had been put on a cardiac machine earlier. "Looks like we have a valvular and cardiac rupture. Small wonder he made it."
"Can we repair it?" Ed had to ask.
"Afraid not. We'll have to keep him on the machine until we can find a donor organ."
Ed sighed. He knew this would lessen the chances of the man's survival. As long as he stayed on the machine he was likely to get a blood infection. Ed had a thought, suddenly. It was a long shot but... "Dr. Dean, what about that new artificial hear they have been working on upstairs? Do you think they----"
"A wonderful idea!" A grin had made it's way over Dr. Dean's face. "Let's get him stable and into CCU then we'll have a talk with the eggheads."
A couple of hours later Ed stood by the man’s bedside. Soon they would make history together. They had been granted permission to use the heart, but needed consent from next of kin. Ed prayed that would come soon. Until then the heart machine continued to work for the heart. He had been sitting in the room listening to the constant beat that assured them that the machine was performing its duties and the man's blood pressure was maintained. He got up and stretched. After a few minutes of meditation he decided to head down the hall and look for something to eat. There were always sweet rolls or snack cakes and he was too weary to go down to the cafeteria. He didn't see that his patient's blood pressure had begun to rise as he closed the door behind him.
When he entered the lounge two nurses were debating the issues of a new vaccine on the market.
Not interested enough to join in he laid his head on the desk, food forgotten. What felt like only moments later he was shaken awake. He sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. It took a moment before they focused on Dr. Dean.
"Let’s go, we have our approval to operate."
"Did they locate Captain Koenig..."
"No," Dean replied flatly.
A look of confusion strained Ed's features. "But why now? The machine-----"
"No time. In addition to his heart injury, he has a kidney failure. It has been there the whole time. Probably been on the point of complete shut down. The Renal surgeons don’t want to deal with it until his heart is stable."
The doctors raced down the corridor toward the operating room. They checked the artificial heart, making sure that all the parts were in working order. Then they opened Victor back up. Dean inserted the mechanical heart into Bergman’s chest. Ed held in his hands the remote pack that would be control the heart. On Dean’s command, he flipped the button that would start the heart beating.
"It’s working!" Ed peered into Bergman’s chest cavity.
Dr. Dean checked the artificial heart before closing the incision. "Let’s just pray he doesn’t reject it."
Ten hours later, as Spencer lay resting his pager sounded. Before he reached the critical care unit, he saw Dr. Dean.
"Go home and get some rest, boy."
"What?" Spencer asked still groggy.
"We lost him, son. The heart stopped working." he placed a paternal hand on Ed's shoulder.
Ed nodded and started walking down the hall. He felt his own heart deflated. He had heard the man was a brilliant scientist and he wondered what this man might have accomplished if only...
John and Helena walked hand in hand along the coastline. It was low tide and as they walked on the packed sand, they left a trail of footprints. They were enjoying their last night together before John left for Texas the next day.
"Helena, what time do you leave for the hospital?"
"Oh I don’t know, eight-thirty, I guess. Why?"
"Alan flew back to Texas after our meeting and I need a ride to the airfield."
He stopped walking and pulled her up against him. The task of leaving her again would be even more difficult than the last time. "Helena," the words caressed her ear as his hands caressed her body, "I’ve... enjoyed our time together." He wanted to tell her that he thought he was falling for her but held back unsure of her reaction.
Smiling, she savored the feel of his arms around her. "Me, too."
The next morning John and Helena were awaken by the insistent beeping of her pager. Helena was instantly awake as she reached for the little box. She called the number on the display. Sitting with her back to John, she took down the information provided by her service. As she hung up, she felt John’s hand running up her back.
"Problem..." he asked, practically yawning the words.
"Yes..." She leaned over and kissed him. "I’m needed at the hospital."
He rubbed her arm lightly. "We’d better get a move on then."
She smiled back wishing they didn’t have to rush.
As soon as they walked into the hospital, John was met by a somber Commissioner Simmonds. "Koenig, where have you been? The hospital has been trying to reach you." John looked at Helena, and shrugged, "Why?"
"Come in here," Simmonds suggested. They entered a small room where they were joined by a man dressed in a lab coat. He was obviously a doctor but John didn’t know his name. Helena moved next to John when the other doctor recommended Koenig sit down.
"Captain, I’m sorry to have to give you this news. Your friend, Victor Bergman, was injured in a motor vehicle accident Saturday night. His heart was badly damaged. We tried everything we could, we did our best. He died this morning after surgery."
It took several moments for the news to register. John’s went white and he buried his face in his hands. "No! No! No!" was all he could manage.
Dr. Dean continued. "We hvae been trying to contact you since Saturday night but were unsuccessful. I’m sorry to have to give you this news."
Helena held John as he cried openly, his body shaking. She motioned for the others to leave them with a slight nod of her head. She would take care of him now. He cried for a long time. Finally, he pulled away from Helena. He looked into her caring eyes and surrendered to her care.
A few days after the memorial service, John left for Boston with Victor’s body. Alone in her office, Helena sat trying but unable to concentrate on the case files before her. Her mind kept wandering, thinking of John and how she wanted to be with him to share their grief. She found herself staring at a framed print on the opposing wall. It was a signed Doolittle Victor had brought back to her from a trip he had made to New Mexico for a nuclear physics conference. The picture was a wildlife scene imposed in the scenery was a Native American spirit. Victor explained when he gave it to her, that Doolittle paintings were much like her, only after a careful study of the subject would the underlying image emerge.
Her intercom buzzed breaking her reverie. "Yes, Pamela?" She wiped a solitary tear from her cheek.
"Dr. Dedeaux is here to see you, Dr Russell. May I send her in?"
"Of course. Thank you." Caprice Dedeaux had been Helena's roommate in medical school. After going on to specialize in forensic pathology, she had recently taken a position at the hospital. She would have been the doctor in charge of Victor's autopsy, Helena remembered.
The door opened and Caprice entered. "How are you, Helena?" she asked as she took a seat near the desk.
"I'm fine." That had been her stock answer for the past several days. She realized Caprice knew her too well to accept it. "Well, as good as can be expected. Thanks for asking." She gave her old friend a reassuring smile. "What brings you up from the dungeon?" referring to the hospital morgue.
Dedeaux took a folder that had been tucked under one arm when she came in and handed it to Helena. "These reports just came in. I guess it took some time for them to catch up. We've been back so backlogged lately. I would have sent it up by messenger, but under the circumstances¼."
Helena looked at the folder. The name at the top was Victor's. She just stared at it fighting back tears that threatened to reemerge.
"You will see that the emergency facility that Dr. Bergman was taken to performed the standard CT and x-ray studies after the car accident. The checked for c-spine and cranial fractures and found none. They even did a MRI. This is pretty much SOP in this situation as you are aware. The attending radiologist labeled them all 'negative'. Unfortunately, what they didn't find until after the patient’s death, was a fairly large aneurysm." She pointed it out to Helena, who had placed the films on a viewer next to her desk.
Helena gasped. "Oh God!"
Caprice continued. "According to several witnesses at the scene, the patient was observed driving in a very erratic manner. I assume he was under some undo stress that forced his blood pressure to elevate. The resulting bulge in the artery was placing an enormous amount of pressure on his brain, causing severe headaches, vertigo and tunnel vision. Ultimately, I feel this was the cause of the accident. The injuries from the accident may have been critical, but the aneurysm was ultimately his cause of death. He could have gone at any moment." She stopped and looked at Helena. "I'm sorry, Helena. I'm afraid I have been too clinical. I know he meant a lot to you."
A look of shock passed over Helena’s face as the reality of what Caprice was saying sunk in.. She leaned forward toward her friend. "I’m okay Caprice, really..." Before she could finish her friend interrupted.
"Helena...several people saw you with John Koenig." Helena looked up at the sound of John’s name. Caprice saw something in Helena’s eyes that she had not seen in a long time. As she continued, she moved to stand near her. " Now I know I don’t know the nature of your relationship with him nor it is any of my business but I understand from Dr. Dean that he took Victor’s death pretty hard."
Helena looked up at Caprice and slowly shook her head. "Yes, he did. Caprice, he was with me when Victor died. Dean couldn’t locate him."
Caprice leaned over and picked up her hand. "I know I heard. He’s blaming himself isn’t he?"
Softly, Helena replied "Yes. I guess it’s to be expected."
"You have to tell him, Helena. You have to make him understand that it’s not his fault and that he couldn’t have prevented it."
Helena nodded in agreement. She squeezed Caprice’s hand and gave her a weak smile. "I’ll tell him."
Caprice returned the smile and turned to leave Helena’s office. She stopped at the door and looked back at her friend..
"Helena, one day when things settle down, we’ll have to schedule a lunch. Then you can tell me all about John Koenig." She winked.
Helena gave a her a look of amusement. "You know I never could hide anything from you, could I?"
"Nope."
"We’ll do lunch...one day soon. I promise"
Caprice gave her a nod and then quietly closed Helena’s door leaving her all alone. She turned in her chair to stare out the window. Her thoughts returned to Victor. Finally, alone in her office she let go of her emotions. Tears filled her eyes as the grief of Victor’s death overwhelmed her. "Oh Victor..."
Aboard an east bound airliner, John Koenig closed his eyes thinking about all the events of the past few days. His emotions were in turmoil. He should have been there with Victor when he died but he was with Helena. Tears streamed down his face as his guilt consumed him. Would he ever be able to forgive himself?
Maureen J. Long & Paula Austin
December, 1999
