By Dorothy Burton
As Zarl collapsed against the pillow, John gently touched Helena's shoulder. He knew she hated losing people. This was a little more personal to her. He had played his part, which was not too difficult, considering she was being seduced right in front of him. She turned to him as she stood and he took her into his embrace. He could feel her weariness as he held her. "Okay?" He whispered to her.
She nodded her head against his shoulder.
Tony found Number Eight and arranged for their return to Alpha.
John held Helena close as he closed his eyes and thought of Alpha.
They all reappeared in Command Center, to Alan's delight. With the androids' influence removed, Alpha was well on its way to recovery.
Back in her element, Helena pushed aside her personal feelings and insisted on setting up exams for all the staff who had been effected by the androids. As well as an inspection of the life support system.
John set Tony and Maya to work on a complete system's check while he and Alan went to check on the eagle status.
Helena was on her way to medical before John could even speak to her.
It was early into Alpha's morning when she finally returned to her quarters. She found John waiting for her, asleep on the sofa with his legs propped up on the coffee table. He didn't look comfortable, but he was sound asleep.
She knew he'd want to talk about their experience on Vega, but she'd had little time to resolve her feelings. That was partially her fault, but the well being on the crew and base always came first.
She knelt beside John and gently touched his face and kissed his cheek. His eyes blinked open and he raised his head, looking around him.
"Hi. Waiting up for me?" She asked softly.
"Yeah." He said rubbing the kink that had developed in his neck.
"Took longer than I thought, sorry."
"It's okay, I haven't been here that long. Alan is very through."
"You wouldn't have it any other way." She said standing beside the sofa.
He rose slowly to join her.
"How are you doing?" He asked, moving his hand to the small of her back.
"I'm fine, just tired."
He nodded, but didn't believe her. "Want a shower?"
She shook her head, negatively. "I just want to sleep."
She moved toward the bedroom area to retrieve her pajamas.
He moved after her but stopped. She retrieved her pajamas and returned to sit wearily on her bed. He could tell she was exhausted. He sat beside her feeling the same as she did.
"You want me to stay?" He asked softly.
She hesitated in responding.
"I'll take that as a no." He said lightly.
She sighed and leaned against him. "I just need some time to work through this, John." She responded.
He stood slowly and turned to her. "I'll bring you some coffee in the morning." He said kissing her forehead.
She watched him as he moved toward the door. He turned back to her as it opened. "Thank you." She called to him.
He gave her a little smile. "Goodnight."
She quickly changed and laid down letting her emotions take over.
Much later that morning, John strode down the hall with pot of coffee and two cups. He opened the door to her quarters finding her still resting. He sat the coffee aside and moved to sit on the edge of the bed. She lay on her side, facing him. He bent and softly kissed her cheek.
She opened sleepy eyes and looked up at him.
"Good morning." He said softly.
She met his eyes then pulled her pillow deeper under her head. He could see that she obviously hadn't slept well. "You okay?" He asked.
"No." She said rolling onto her back to look up at him.
"Long night." He stated.
She nodded.
"You want me to go?" He inquired.
She shook her head, "Actually, I'd like you to stay." She said moving over to make room for him.
He smiled and stood, quickly removing his jacket, belt and shoes. He then stretched out beside her and she moved into his arms. He gently stroked her hair and held her.
"I was so frightened, I thought you were gone and I felt so alone."
He tightened his embrace around her. "They were just manipulating us."
"I know, I tell myself that, but it doesn't make be feel any better. Then to be put through that ordeal."
John took a deep breath, remembering his jealousy and anger well.
"I wanted to kill that bastard."
"That's exactly what they wanted, John."
"And it's what killed them in the end." He said.
"I know." She said, sounding defeated.
"You liberated a whole race Helena, they were grateful."
"Grateful. I killed someone." She said quietly.
He looked at her and tilted her face to him. "You didn't kill anyone, you were not responsible for what they did."
She sighed and laid back against him.
He held her to him, trying to absorb the guilt she was feeling. They both knew they'd had to go along with the alien's plan or they would not have survived. She did not like losing people, good or bad. It was always hard on her. But to have been the focus of the attention must have been terrible.
"How do you think I felt, watching you being seduced right in front of me." He said, quietly.
"I didn't exactly enjoy it."
"I know. Although you were beautiful in that dress." He said with a smile.
She smiled at his compliment. "You think so?"
"I know so."
"Helena, you can't blame yourself for what happened, you know that."
She nodded against him.
"Now, I want you to get some sleep. I'll bring some dinner by for us later."
He moved from her bed and reached for his clothes and redressed.
She reclaimed her pillow and laid against it.
He leaned over her and kissed her cheek.
"Thank you, John."
"That's why I'm here, to take care of you." He said kissing her.
He turned to leave as she closed her eyes. "I know." She said softly to herself.
He picked up the tray of coffee and left quietly.
When he arrived with dinner that evening, he found her sitting, working at her desk dressed in her new dress and looking much more rested.
He smiled as he sat the tray down. "You look rested."
She looked up from the screen and switched off the screen. "I seem to remember my Commander telling me to get some sleep." She said, crossing to join him.
He took her into his arms and kissed her. "Better." He asked.
She nodded. "Much."
He held her at arms length, admiring her dress. "I see you changed." He said with a smile.
She turned around to give him the full view.
"I like it." He pulled her back to him and gave her a long kiss.
She parted from him and looked up into his eyes.
A grin slowly crossed his face as his hand moved down her hip, which was covered with lattice ties. "I think I have plans for these ties." He said pulling at them gently.
"You do?"
He nodded.
"Let's eat first, I may need my strength." She said, placing her hand against his chest.
"I think you will." He said with a smile.
Dorothy Burton
June, 2000