From H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
To mel@executive-travel.com
8-2-99
Sorry about not giving you an early warning about Mom and Dad. I really thought she just wanted to phone you. Sounds like Alan was very gallant.
From Mel@executive-travel.com
To H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
8-3-99
Very gallant. He’s quite the Boy Scout. Mama told me that he told Daddy he was an honorable man and wouldn’t make any promises he didn’t intend to keep. I’m making sure he’s well rewarded this week.
From H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
To Mel@executive-travel.com
8-6-99
We had a wonderfully intimate birthday celebration here. John brought me a cake you wouldn’t believe. Called it chocolate orgasm. (And I almost did!) I know you’re having fun this week. Details when I next see you.
From Mel@executive-travel.com
To H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
8-7-99
{{ next see you}}
I don’t care if that phone call cost two thousand dollars! I just needed to hear your voice, Cake. My mind still reels. And I don’t know what to do! I hate your email system. I have to wait until tomorrow for your reply!
From H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
To Mel@executive-travel.com
8-8-99
It was good to hear your voice too. Sometimes it seems like we lead such independent lives and other times I feel like a piece of me is missing up here. Saw Alan briefly in the hall. He looks like he has stars in his eyes.
From Mel@executive-travel.com
To H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
8-9-99
Sent you a package of chocolate today. Figured you’d need it by the time it arrives. Am headed back to Guatemala for two days. I think I’ll send Daddy a hammock.
From H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
To Mel@executive-travel.com
8-10-99
Had dinner with Alan last night. He laughed about the hammock. Also said he was afraid he might have scared you off.
From Mel@executive-travel.com
To H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
8-11-99
Hello from Guatemala! What did you say to Alan when he told you that? Tell him I’m not scared off. Stunned perhaps. And there’s this tiny knot in my stomach of warm feeling. He loves me the way I am! I’ve never felt anything like this before. Cake, how do you love someone and stay away from him all the time? I’m used to physical contact. Hell, how do you love someone back who loves you? Ask Alan if he wants me to bring him a hammock too. (I could deliver.)
From H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
To Mel@executive-travel.com
8-12-99
Alan says he’d rather share yours. But he wants you to find another way to get up here! Got the chocolate today, but am not yet in need. Thanks.
From Mel@executive-travel.com
To H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
8-13-99
Got back home today. The apartment seems pretty empty and lonely all of a sudden. Probably part of it is my own need for chocolate. Could sure use one of Alan’s back rubs. (You do not have permission to borrow him for a back rub)
From H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
To Mel@executive-travel.com
8-14-99
I should have needed chocolate 3 days ago. I still don’t need it—or a back rub. Not jealous are you?
From Mel@executive-travel.com
To H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
8-15-99
3 days? Cake, I’ve known your schedule since Jr. High! What’s up? (No, I’m not jealous. Alan is a free man and I have no claim on him. It’s just damned unfair that he’s up there with you and I’m down here.)
From H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
To Mel@executive-travel.com
8-17-99
5 days. Damn, damn, damn, I don’t have time for this!
From Mel@executive-travel.com
To H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
8-18-99
How soon can you pee on a stick? Care to discuss methods with me Sis? (Note the plural form of the word.)
From H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
To Mel@executive-travel.com
8-19-99
7 days. Nothing—no tests are conclusive for at least 14 days. Mel, there’s a lot of stuff going on here. Maybe it’s just stress. Or still adjusting to living on Alpha.
Methods? Quarterly shots. You know I tried the longer term stuff and hated the side effects. And pills are too bulky to import up here. Mel—this just can’t happen up here. I can’t deal with it! And I don’t want to leave!
From Mel@executive-travel.com
To H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
8-20-99
Who said you’d have to leave? Haven’t you ever heard of the barrier method? Or just say no? Seems to me this little problem will belong to both of you. Houston could be a good place to raise a kid.
From H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
To Mel@executive-travel.com
8-21-99
9 days. Like You’ve ever said no! It’s not that I don’t want to have John’s baby. In fact, I have to admit I’ve thought more about it recently than I did when I was with Lee.
From Mel@executive-travel.com
To H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
8-22-99
Lee was a pig, and deep down even you knew that. Not father material at all. John is much more promising there. Or maybe it’s just tick-tick –tick. Have you mentioned this little possibility to John?
From H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
To Mel@executive-travel.com
8-23-99
11 days!! No, I talked to John night before last on the phone but didn’t say anything. I was upset about something else—work related, can’t say anything here—and this didn’t come up. Is your clock ticking?
From Mel@executive-travel.com
To H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
8-24-99
My clock is just fine, thank you. Besides, I’d make a much better aunt than mother. I nominate you to deliver all the Thompson grandchildren. I think Daddy would prefer a legal wedding before the birth announcement. But he’s more likely to forgive you than me. (Although you’d think a doctor would be more likely to be able to avoid this!)
From H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
To Mel@executive-travel.com
8-25-99
13 days. Tomorrow I pee. Stay by the phone. I may need you. Right now I don’t even feel much like a doctor. And it could be that I don’t have to worry about the job. I think I’ve made the wrong person mad. Oh Mel, I wish you were here.
From Mel@executive-travel.com
To H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
8-26-99
I am not leaving the phone. I can tell something else is upsetting you too. Probably more than this. I wish you could tell me what it is. Alan hasn’t sent me a note for 3 days! I didn’t realize how much I looked forward to getting his notes. He’s okay isn’t he?
From H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
To Mel@executive-travel.com
8-27-99
I spotted yesterday. And I peed on a stick anyway (figuratively speaking, it’s the same test). It’s negative. I was so busy I barely had time to get the results. When I finally got to my quarters I sat in the dark and cried for half an hour. I would have liked—well maybe some other time. Two hours later I was called back to Medical Center. So there was never time to call you. Saw Alan at a brief conference. He looked tired but winked at me and managed to whisper to tell you hello.
From Mel@executive-travel.com
To H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
8-28-99
Alan managed to send me a note too. He said he’s on the space dock a lot. Sis? He’s all right isn’t he? Gina called me last night and said they’re about to run a story about some kind of illness up there. I told her you’d been busy lately and hadn’t mentioned anything to me. You’re not sick are you?
Sorry about the other thing. Virtual hug to you. I would have liked to be an aunt.
From Mel@executive-travel.com
To H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
8-30-99
I didn’t get a message from you yesterday. Saw Gina’s story. Said there’d been some deaths. A virus of some kind? Are you ok?
From Mel@executive-travel.com
To H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
8-31-99
I still haven’t heard from you!! Mom called me today and said she’d seen the news. I tried to calm her down, but I’m worried. Double worried. Alan hasn’t called or written either.
From Mel@executive-travel.com
To H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
9-1-99
The news sounds scary. I tried to call you but couldn’t get a line through. I finally called John and left a message on his answering machine. What’s happening up there?!
From Mel@executive-travel.com
To H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
9-4-99
I just got a call back from John but he wasn’t very comforting. He said the news people are being hysterical. I’m the one about to be hysterical. He did say he talked to Alan briefly two days ago and he was fine then. He said personal calls are being given a low priority right now ‘cause the bandwith was needed for other things. I told him that was bull shit, but he still seemed pretty calm. I think they’re just being blocked! I don’t even know if you’re getting this!
The renters for your house called. They’d like to make plans to extend the lease. Should I assume that even if whatever is happening now blows up and you end up back on Earth you’ll be interested in living in a certain condo in Houston? I’ll stall the renters for a week or two.
From Mel@executive-travel.com
To H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
9-11-99
It was such a relief to hear your voice! Even though I had to call you, you scum! I called Mom and told her I’d actually spoken to you and you’re ok. Then Daddy got on the phone and started raving that you should come home RIGHT NOW and to hell with your job. He didn’t seem to take comfort in the fact that John is up there with you. Sounds like he’s afraid John might knock you up or something. Unthinkable huh? He’s probably imagining you two doing all sorts of unspeakable acts together. I hope you are. I wish I was. Alan called too and said he couldn’t talk long but he’s going to crew the Meta Probe. No unspeakable acts for me for a while. This love stuff isn’t all that much fun, sis. Dammit, I want Alan, not some schmuck I pick up in a bar. Call me again—soon!
From H.S.Russell@ILFC.MBA.org
To Mel@executive-travel.com
9-16-99
Oh, Mel. I know I can’t send this to you, but I need you so badly. Just writing this helps. I can pretend I can still mail it to you.
It’s one of those good news/bad news notes. We’re alive, but we can’t get back. John’s here with me, but so is Alan and you’re getting farther away with every breath I take.
Mel, there’s something I didn’t tell you on the phone the other day. Since I only spotted last week when I got the negative reading, I did a second test—in the two seconds of privacy I got. It was positive. Then the explosions started, and we experienced incredible g-forces. I really thought we would die. I was lying on the floor in Command Center, and could just barely see John, meet his eyes. When he looked at me I felt so helpless, but I knew I’d do anything to be with him. Even die like that.
Then this morning, I began bleeding for real. I have a great physician up here, Bob Mathias. We were being very cautious with everyone about internal bleeding, so when I realized what was happening, he had me in surgery immediately. It was a simple procedure. John didn’t even know it happened. John won’t know it happened. He has too much else to worry about.
I already miss you and Mom and Dad so intensely that I can’t tell the difference between the physical symptoms for that and for the d&c I just went through. But if there had been a choice, I would have chosen to be with John, no matter what. I know that with John here, somehow, we’ll survive.
Maureen J. Long
May, 2000