John Koenig tightened the laces of his running shoes. This was one of his favorite things to do while on vacation, get up at dawn and run on the beach for miles. He had never been the sort of person to just sit and watch the scenery. But he loved to watch the sunrise while he ran. The treadmills on Alpha had always been -- and still were-- an inadequate substitute. He glanced at Helena's sleeping form, blond hair covering her face, a bare arm and leg escaping from tangled covers.
He reached over to smooth out the sheet and she turned over, curling into a compact ball around her pillow. He kissed her cheek and said into her ear, "I'm going running."
She barely moved and responded with a softly sighed "--K."
John grinned and left the bedroom. In the early days of their marriage he had tried to convince her to accompany him when he exercised in the morning. He had found out quickly that she was not a morning person and did not want to be converted into one. He found this strangely at odds with her ability to wake alert and ready for any medical emergency, scared child or amorous husband. She could carry on a conversation, discussing nightmares, sick children or upcoming staff meetings, but when the alarm rang in the morning, she always wanted an extra five minutes of sleep.
He slipped quietly through the living room and out the front door. He stood on the porch of the small bungalow and smelled the damp salty morning air. The porch looked out between the dunes at the southern ocean. The beach was made of fine clear sand, mostly silica, with very little of the calcium carbonate that made beaches white on Earth. This sand had the mica flecks, which made many of parts of Loki sparkle brilliantly, but the rest of the grains were clear and reflected the color of the water and the sky. The area had no arable land, but was esthetically beautiful. Thus it had become a vacation spot for weary Alphans. A dozen concrete bungalows were built in widespread clusters of four and reserved for two weeks at a time by vacationers from Alpha, Ceres2 and even Dover. Depending on who was referring to the area it was either called "Bedrock" after the Flintstones house in the old cartoon or Blue Lagoon by the more romantically inclined. John didn't care; the blue tinted beach went on for miles. It was quiet and peaceful, and the sand was firm and flat. Perfect for running.
He could just make out the shapes of the other three houses in this cluster in the pre-dawn gray. By mid-morning there would be vacationers on the porches or sunning themselves on the beach. There were three clusters of four houses each scattered along the beach to give additional breathing room. The house directly across from John and Helena's was Alan's. It wasn't unusual for some of the Koenig children to claim the spare bedroom at Alan's. This year Alex would be coming on his own in a few months to honeymoon with his bride. Richard was in the middle of a six-month internship on Ceres 2 and had been unable to join them. Only Emma had come, and would have the second bedroom at the Koenig's cabin to herself.
John and Alan had arrived the evening before, just in time for supper. Helena and Emma had greeted them with enthusiasm and a delicious meal. Emma regaled them with the details of the flight aboard the new Eagle all through the meal. When Helena decided Emma was being too technical for her she began to yawn. John cued in and claimed fatigue. Emma suggested that she and Alan join a few of her friends who were vacationing in the next cluster of bungalows and the older Koenig's found themselves alone. John hadn't heard Emma come in last night, but their bedroom door had been firmly shut, and he hadn't really been listening. He knew Alan would get her home safely.
John was looking forward to a quiet uneventful two weeks with his wife. He had thought that once the children were grown they would have more time together, but Helena had become more involved at work, teaching medical skills to a new cadre of workers and they were both as busy as ever.
He set a steady pace down the beach, slower than his usual pace on Alpha. His goal was an outcrop of boulders about three miles down the beach. He would stop there, take a breather and watch the sunrise, then make his way back up the beach. By the time he returned Helena would be awake, and probably have breakfast waiting for him. Then perhaps they would pack a picnic and do a bit of hiking together.
It was still rather dark, but the sky was clear and the stars bright. John had not yet broken a sweat when he kicked something in his path. He looked down, and in the dim light recognized it as a pile of clothing. John paused and looked around. It wasn't unusual for vacationers to skinny-dip on the beach late at night, but if they had left their clothes here all night, they might have gotten into trouble. As he scanned around he saw a dark form on the dunes a few yards away.
They had not been skinny-dippers, but lovers, escaping a crowded bungalow. John smiled and prepared to resume his run. The sky was beginning to glow in the east. The Alphans were horrible gossips, but had long ago found that the way to give everyone a little privacy was to avert your eyes and pretend not to see things. He was prepared to practice Alphan discretion when the two forms stirred. One sat up gracefully and recognized him first.
"Daddy?" she said sleepily. "What are you doing here?"
"Emma?" John replied, stunned as the implications set in.
The man sat up, then rubbed his eyes and checked the sky, not noticing John. "It's morning already? We must have fallen asleep, love."
Emma turned to Alan with a warm smile. "Yes, I guess we did." She leaned toward him and brushed her lips against his, seemingly forgetting her father's presence. She turned back to John, still not quite awake, "Oh, you must have come out to run." She was well aware of her father's habits.
The sound of Alan's voice had taken John's breath away. He put all the pieces of the scenario together and was appalled at the conclusions he drew. He had decided there must be some other explanation for the situation until Emma had leaned over and kissed Alan. Then anger took over. In two steps he was beside his daughter. He reached down and grabbed her wrist, pulling her to her feet, but it was Alan he spoke to.
"Alan, what the hell do you think you're doing?" He shouted, absolutely outraged.
"Wait a minute, John," Alan remained sitting, quickly becoming aware of how volatile this situation was.
"No, you wait a minute," John interrupted. "Don't you ever come near my daughter again."
"Daddy!" Emma tried to break through to him. She didn't think she had ever seen him this angry before.
"What did he do to you?" Her father asked. "How long has this been going on?"
"Daddy, you're hurting me," Emma said, trying to twist her wrist out of her father's grip.
"Answer me, Emma," John shouted again. "How long has he been doing this to you?" Beyond reason, he didn't wait for a response, but turned back to Alan. "How could you! I trusted you with my child. I always have!"
Carter scrambled to his feet, seeing Emma's terrified look as she was caught in her father's grip, but despite the anger he felt that his closest friend would believe he had hurt Emma in any way, he tried to remain conciliatory. "John," he started, taking a step back, but holding out his hands in entreaty. "I promise you I would never do anything to hurt Emma."
"Except your bad judgement. Alan, she's a child!"
"John, she's not a child."
"Something you've obviously seen to," he retorted.
John tugged at Emma and pointed her back up the beach toward the bungalows. "Go home, Emma, right now." He let go of her wrist, expecting her obedience.
As soon as he released her she stepped back between the two men. "No!" she said.
"That's an order!" John roared.
"You have NO RIGHT to order me," Emma shouted back.
Her defiance brought him up short and he stared at her. It gave her the moment she needed to collect her thoughts. With a manner much like her mother, she took a deep breath, and looked deep into his eyes. Her voice dropped lower and she continued in a soft even tone as she leaned toward him. "I'm an adult. You may be my commander, but I'm on vacation now-- sir," she packed more sarcasm in that last word than either man would have thought possible. "You have no right as my father or my commander to choose who I take as a lover. I'm an adult, not a child, and I demand to be treated as an adult."
She stepped back and took Alan's hand. "What we do in our off-duty time is our private business, and I'll thank you to keep out of it."
She was shaking as she took Alan's hand, but remained composed. "We should leave, Alan. I need a shower," she glanced at her lover and glared back at her father.
Carter squeezed her hand, but placed his other hand on her arm. "Just a second, love." He looked John in the eye who was staring in amazement at his daughter. "I just want you to know, before this evening, I never, ever, laid a hand on her, nor will I ever let anyone harm her. Before you speak to either of us again, I expect you to calm down and do a bit of rational thinking."
"Is this rational, Alan?" John asked, keeping a tight rein on his emotions.
Alan put his arm around Emma. "Love seldom is, John."
Without another word, Alan and Emma turned and headed toward the bungalows. Emma knelt and collected their pile of clothing, which Alan took from her. As they moved away Alan looked at her wrist which was bruising where John had grabbed her.
John stood where he was and watched them. He had seen them together a hundred times walking on this very beach and in the corridors of Alpha. This morning there was something different; a connection that hadn't been there before and he knew immediately that Alan was telling the truth. He wasn't sure it made him any happier. She was still too young, and Alan too old.
He stood where he was for a long time, watching them return to Alan's bungalow. He no longer felt like running. He didn't understand why Emma would choose to be with Alan, and didn't accept the theory that it was love. How could she fall in love with an old man? He felt there had to be another explanation. Then he had an idea. He headed back up the beach to his own cabin and Helena.
Alan and Emma returned to the bungalow to shower and dress. Emma was so upset she was shaking, but she didn't cry, and she was very, very quiet. Alan had never seen her like this, and it worried him. He suggested that she take the first shower. She nodded silently and slipped into the bathroom. Alan fixed coffee and got out a loaf of bread for breakfast. From the kitchen window he watched John return to his own bungalow, and through the open windows could hear his shouting, although he couldn't make out the words. He wondered why John was shouting at Helena, when the target of his anger was really Emma and Alan; but he'd known the couple a long time and realized that Helena frequently bore the brunt of John's anger or frustration.
Emma returned, clean and wearing a short t-shirt and shorts. She stood by the window, listening solemnly. Alan slipped into the shower quickly. When he returned, he could hear the whine of Eagle engines overhead. Emma looked ashen.
"When Daddy stopped yelling, he left the house and went straight to the Eagle and left." She rushed across the room and threw her arms around Alan, burying her face against his shoulder. "You don't think he killed her, do you?"
He held her tightly, but shook his head. "No way, if he were going to kill anyone he would have killed me back on the beach." He pushed her back and touched her cheek. "He loves your mom, and wouldn't ever hurt her, no matter how angry he got. Look, why don't you fix us some breakfast, and I'll go invite your mom to join us."
Emma nodded, glad to be given something constructive to do. She turned to the kitchen and Alan headed out the door.
"I'm an idiot," he offered penance.
She turned her gaze on him slowly, and rubbed her forehead as if she had a headache. She sighed, "I'll agree with that."
"We never meant for him to find out like that."
"Finding you together on the beach? I wouldn't expect so. Don't worry, he doesn't blame you. It's all my fault." She smiled a whimsical smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Your fault? How's that."
She sighed. "Do you think I've become too preoccupied with genetics and the future of our race?"
Alan considered the question. He was well aware that a good deal of Helena's time was spent assessing the genetic viability of Alpha's offspring. He also knew she had, on occasion, recommended that a childless couple use someone else's genetic material to make a better combination. Rumor also had it that she had done something to assist Tony and Maya to conceive their child, but Alan discounted that. She certainly allowed Jeremy Devers to take all the credit for Salvatore Verdeschi, although Alan knew most of the groundbreaking research had been accomplished by Helena after Maya's first few miscarriages.
"What does that have to do with me and Emma?"
"He thinks I've talked Emma into having your baby."
That gave Alan a jolt of surprise. "We talked about having kids
. We talked about a lot of things last night, but Emma's ideas are all her own.""Oh, I would have told him that if he'd been in the mood to listen. Don't worry. He'll be back. I'll talk to him then."
"I take it you had some idea of what Emma wants."
"We talked about it, yes."
"You don't think-- Helena, you don't think I molested her do you?"
It was Helena's turn to be surprised. "Of course not. You adore Emma, you always have. I know that-- and so will John when he's thinking straight. She's an adult, and not inexperienced."
"You know that?" Alan asked.
"I know you've always been her greatest confidant," Helena said, thinking of at least two occasions where Alan had acted as an alibi for Emma's budding love life. "But I am her mother, and not without my own resources."
Alan grinned at her. "And Emma thought she had you fooled."
"There are some things a girl wants to keep secret from her parents. I've always been glad you were around to protect her."
"So you approve? Of us, I mean?"
"Let's say it's a probationary approval. She's awfully young, Alan. Don't let her break your heart."
"I'm the one with the reputation for doing that. But I promise you, things are different with me and Emma." He stood. "She's fixing breakfast for us, and sent me to get you."
"Thanks, but I'll pass."
"She 's worried about you."
Helena stood and walked over to Alan. She took his hands in hers and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "I'm fine. Go back and assure her of that. Remind her I've always hated breakfast and she's old enough that I no longer have to set a good example."
Alan chuckled. Emma had asserted her rights as an adult enough this morning to be amused by that. "All right. But let us know if you need anything."
"Just take good care of her, Alan."
Carter turned and left with the feeling that he'd just gotten a parent's blessing to marry. He was surprised how good he felt about it.
That evening, Emma and Alan fixed dinner then carried it to Helena's, giving her no excuse to turn them down. Helena had not left the bungalow all day, but showed no sign of being upset when they arrived with supper. None of them mentioned John.
Around mid-morning the next day, Alan and Emma were on the beach playing volleyball with some of the other vacationers. Alan noticed Helena come over the dunes wearing a black flight suit and carrying a backpack. Alan rotated out and walked over to her. She watched the game while waiting for him to approach.
"Not exactly beach wear you have on."
She ignored the comment. "John is at Rainbow Valley. I want you or Emma to fly me up there."
Emma joined them in time to hear that. "We should all go and talk to him."
"I think you'd better let me handle this," Helena said to her daughter. "Just take me and drop me off."
"It's my fight--" Emma started.
"I'm trying keep it from being a fight," Helena replied.
Alan put his hand on Emma's shoulder. "She's right, Em. Helena can get through to John better than anyone else. Let's go change and we'll fly her up together." He looked at Helena and added, "but we won't stay."
Helena nodded and made her way to the Eagle. Alan and Emma joined her shortly and they took off. The new Eagle had a larger command cabin with four seats instead of the original two. Helena sat behind Emma.
Emma was worried. She had never seen her father so upset before. She had known he would be unhappy, but had never imagined how furious, or that he would turn that anger on her mother. She felt horribly guilty, but when she glanced at Alan during their pre-flight check and he smiled back at her she felt as if she could soar all the way to Rainbow Valley without the Eagle.
Her mother always seemed so calm and contained. She knew well that the only one Helena truly allowed to see her feelings was her father. She hoped this hadn't spoiled things between them. She hoped the price of her own happiness was not her mother's. She could feel Helena's quiet determination emanating from the seat behind her.
The landing site was quiet. The other Eagle was the only sign that humans were about. They touched down lightly and Helena stood quickly. She patted Emma on the shoulder.
Alan said, "You'll call if you need us?"
"Of course. I'll be fine," she replied quietly, then she was gone.
Helena stepped outside quickly and moved to the front of the Eagle. She waved to the pilots to let them know she was out and clear.
Inside, Alan turned to his co-pilot with a grin and a twinkle in his eye. "Let's fly."
Emma grinned back. Any chance to fly was welcome, but working as a team was the best. They would use the opportunity to push the envelope in the new Eagle and find out just how good a ride she was. They headed upstairs with a roar, turning east at top speed.
Helena watched the Eagle rise and turn, shooting off much faster than necessary. Those two really were made for each other. She turned and set off toward the falls, knowing exactly where her husband would be. The walk was a familiar one. They had spent many happy times here. When she came over the rise into the valley where the falls were, she spotted John sitting on a ledge on the opposite side of the creek watching the water pass by. She ignored him, removed her backpack and sat down to take off her boots. From the backpack she removed a small quilt and a bottle of suntan oil.
She proceeded to remove her jumpsuit revealing a red bikini, waded to the large flat boulder at midstream and spread out her quilt. She was well aware that John was watching her, but neither said a word. She leisurely rubbed on the lotion and settled down to sunbathe.
John knew she was coming the moment he heard the Eagle. He had expected that she would come and continue the argument from yesterday. He had finally calmed down enough to realize he never gave her a chance to talk, and in fact, had been mostly irrational himself. He had spent last night feeling more alone than ever before in his life. He missed Victor who had always been there for John to talk to and work through his problems with. It was hard to believe he had been gone for twenty years now. He missed Tony too, but had chosen not to go to Dover-- probably because he knew Helena wouldn't have followed him there. Alan and Helena had been his closest advisors, confidants and friends for the past twenty years and it had hurt badly to be at odds with both of them at once.
He watched Helena's still form, amazed that she was still absolutely gorgeous in a bikini. He also felt a bit giddy at the thought that she had come here because of her love for him. He finally said, "I thought you were vacationing at the beach this year."
A smile played across her lips but didn't remain long. She didn't respond.
He sighed and tried again. "I suppose, if your husband wasn't such an ass, you would be."
This time the smile stayed longer, but she didn't open her eyes to the bright sun. "Probably," she said thoughtfully. "It's amazing what people in love will do."
He thought about that. He had lost his temper because of his love for Emma. Helena had come here, after he had verbally abused her because she loved him. Sometimes he wondered why she put up with him. Emma had defied him because of her love for Alan. Was that really any different?
Below him, Helena turned on her stomach and reached back to untie the string to her bikini top. "You know," she said to him. "You could come down here and make yourself useful." She picked up the bottle of lotion and waved it at him.
He grinned and climbed down from his perch. Silently, he rubbed the oil into her bare back and legs. Usually this was a highly distracting task, but his mind kept dwelling on other matters. "There's nothing we can do about this is there?" He preferred situations he could control.
"Not a thing."
"And this is all her idea, too. You couldn't have talked her into this-- like I accused you of doing.
"That's right." She knew he had needed to calm down enough to think things through. She also knew how much he hated admitting he was wrong.
"I still don't like it."
She turned over and sat up, taking his hands in hers. "That's your choice. They aren't asking you to approve, although both of them adore you and prefer that you did."
"Helena, the age difference--"
She stopped him by putting her fingers over his mouth. "The more you protest, the more they are going to resist. Neither of them has a track record of long relationships. Emma's never been serious about anyone before. And as sweet as Alan is, he's never managed to stay with anyone longer than a few months. After that, he usually loses interest."
"So you think this will be over in a few months?" He asked, surprised.
Helena considered this carefully. Alan was older and used to his independence. Emma was young and just beginning to explore life. On the other hand, Helena had watched them fly together-- working in a kind of harmony that included barely contained glee at the sheer joy of being together. She finally replied, "I really don't know. I think if they survive past the first few months of learning how to live together, it might develop into something extremely special. Or she might part company with him just as all his other girlfriends have. Most are still extremely fond of him."
John nodded. He'd never known anyone to have so many former girlfriends who remained pleasant after the relationship ended. "And if it is something special? If they do make it something long term?" He asked. "How long do they have together?"
Helena looked into his eyes, then leaned forward to rest her head against his chest. She loved him dearly, but she still remembered the first man she had exchanged vows with. 'Til death do us part' had seemed an extremely long time when you were young and in love, but for her and Lee it had only been a few brief years. If Emma had five happy years with Alan it would be more than she had spent with Lee, and more than John had spent with Jean. "None of us know that, John. We never do."
Ellen Lindow
December, 98