Helena sat curled on the end of the couch, Fluffy nestled in her lap. She stroked the puffball gently, smiling in response to its gentle purring-like motions. Sensing John near before he was even in the same room, she looked up and gave him a long slow smile, one that indicated she knew exactly what he had in mind to help them both relax after the hectic pace of the last few days; an activity to which she had absolutely no objections. Helena reached up to take her husband's hand and pull him down next to her. His happiness, exhaustion, contentment and overwhelming love for her washed over her like a wave when their hands touched. It was a sensation that came from within and without at the same time -- knowing what he was feeling just from looking at him, and having that knowledge re-enforced by their physical contact.
Helena snuggled up next to him, sighing contentedly when John's arm went about her shoulder and pulled her closer. He kissed the top of her head.
"I've been thinking about Emma and Alan."
"I've been trying not to. I still don't think I'm over finding them together - like that - on the beach."
"John, she's an adult, she's just married a man she loves completely. In a way... I envy her."
"Huh?"
Helena sat up straighter to meet her husband's gaze, and laced her fingers together with John's. She could feel his uneasiness as well as see it reflected in his eyes.
"Emma is married to a man she has known all her life, a man she has loved all her life. She has been spared the... game playing most people endure while searching for that one person who is so right for them they know it instantly. Emma has known that about Alan since she was a child."
John nodded, unable to argue that. Emma hadn't been more than six when she told them she loved Alan and was going to marry him. Helena squeezed John's hand in response to that little bit of anger he still felt when remembering his discovery of Alan and Emma on the beach, their clothes in a nearby pile. There had been no question of what they'd been doing.
"That whole dating mess is - was - pretty awful, but..."
Helena shook her head, distantly aware the puffball's purring noises had changed - in response to the changes in her mood as well as John's. Helena studied John's face, wondering how she could get through his deliberate stubbornness. In the end he had not openly objected to Emma marrying Alan Carter, but he still wasn't overly thrilled about it.
Increasing her physical contact with John as his hand came to rest on top of her hand, which was still absently stroking Fluffy, Helena met his gaze with a look they both knew allowed no secrets between them, even little ones.
"Truthfully, John, is it really the difference in age between Emma and Alan that still bothers you?"
Reluctantly John shook his head.
"No, I suppose not. I can't think of... anyone else I would rather see married to my daughter."
Helena nodded, sensing they were finally going to get to the bottom of it. And it flashed into her mind what the problem was, as John once again relived that moment on the beach. Slowly she met his gaze, understanding and sympathetic.
"I suppose... finding your daughter making love on the beach to a man who has been your friend longer than she has been alive is more than a bit shocking and not really high on the list of things a father wants to do."
John snorted and nodded. Helena continued, feeling his embarrassment fade to brief anger.
"Try to imagine how Emma felt. A marvelous, wonderful experience with the man you love brought to an abrupt halt by the arrival of your father."
"I... never thought about it from her point of view. I've never been a girl..."
Helena smiled and stroked his hand lightly, bringing flames to the embers that had been smoldering as they talked.
"A fact I have been thankful for more times than I can count."
Helena smiled as she sensed John's level of desire for her rise in response to any number of memories.
"How would you have felt - reacted - if one of your parents had walked in on you and a girlfriend?"
John's eyes went wide as he tried to imagine it, then he chuckled softly.
"Angry, upset,... too confused and embarrassed for words."
"And it takes something really big for you to be speechless."
"Hey, watch it..."
John smiled devilishly and leaned closer to his wife, Fluffy, still on Helena's lap, trapped between them. He kissed her deeply, then more gently and met her gaze.
"You didn't finish telling me why you envy Emma a little."
Helena stared into his eyes and reached up to trace a finger down his jawline, knowing exactly what that gesture did to him and reveling in the slow, building response he couldn't control. She was rewarded with a wave of intense desire for her coming from John.
"Emma has found the man she loves - will love for the rest of her life - with very little effort, frustration or heartbreak. More than once I've wished I - we - had been that lucky; that you and I had found one another right away instead of having to wait years to be together. I'm not sorry for the time I had with Lee, nor do I begrudge you your time with Jean, but..."
Slowly John nodded, finally understanding what his wife meant; what his daughter felt for Alan Carter.
"But... I'd rather be with you than anyone else in the universe."
Helena smiled and leaned close to kiss John, sensing his love and growing desire increase. Fluffy's purring-like responses seemed to increase and become stronger with their heightened emotions. Helena stoked the puffball gently but kept her attention focused completely on John.
"Emma will always be your daughter, John. You will always be her father, but... she loves Alan in a way she can never love you. That's as it should be. Just be happy for her - for them."
A calmness settled over John as he nodded.
"I am, Helena... I am. And,... I think I'm ready to think about being a grandfather - but not too soon."
Helena chuckled and kissed him deeply.
"Good, because the last thing I feel like right now is being a potential grandmother."
John's hands began to roam lower on Helena's body, doing all the things he knew excited her most. He felt her responses flame at his touch.
"What do you feel like?"
Helena kissed him deeply, passionately, and the fire inside them both leapt to the surface. It was always there, always easily ignited, but sometimes flamed more hotly, more intensely even than when they had first discovered each other. Usually that happened when they were both in physical contact with each other and their puffball, as they were now. Helena wondered more than once if it were some kind of weird empathic bond they had developed between the three of them, but her thoughts were always distracted before she could explore the possibilities further,
Gently removing the puffball from Helena's lap, John placed Fluffy on the couch. He pulled Helena to her feet, then into his embrace. Their kiss grew long and intense, their desires likewise flaming hotter.
Reluctantly they broke apart, John took her hands and steered Helena through the clutter of the recent weddings of their two oldest children, heading toward their bedroom.
As the door closed and Helena returned to her husband's embrace, she smiled, sensing in John that he really was all right with Emma and Alan's marriage now, but wanting to test it -- just to be certain.
"Emma and Alan are probably doing the same thing about now."
The only response John had to that statement was a low growl and mild amusement, and a memory of their own wedding night.
"That's a good thing, Helena. They need the practice."
"And do we?"
"Nope... We're perfect together."
Helena chuckled, wrapped her arms about John's neck and sank to the carpeted floor with him, their desires in perfect sync.
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Amanda Russell
January 31, 1999