Leaving her Garden Club meeting, Susan Thompson maneuvered her sky blue Oldsmobile through the Chicago traffic. She was headed in the direction of her husband's office hoping to surprise him with a mid day visit. The current schedules of their high school aged twins kept them going in mostly opposite directions. As she pulled into the reserve parking garage at the Medical Center, Susan checked her hair and makeup before hopping out and heading inside. As she rode the elevator up to Robert's 11th floor office, she smoothed her crème colored skirt and adjusted her pale pink blouse.
The elevator to the 11th floor opened into a receptionist area. Connie, the research center's red headed secretary, sat behind a big circular desk pecking at her typewriter. She looked up at the sound of the elevator doors closing.
"Mrs. Thompson!" She exclaimed. "Isn't this a surprise."
Susan smiled easily. It wasn't often that she made an appearance downtown.
"Hi Connie. How've you been?" She sat her purse down on the rounded corner of the desk.
"I've been well. How are the girls? Dr. Thompson rarely tells us about them anymore."
"They are wonderful! However, they are constantly in motion these days." Susan exhaled. "But we'll only have them with us two more years, then they'll be off to college."
"Oh, I can't imagine the cost of sending two through college at the same time." Connie reached for the phone. "Can I buzz Dr. T. for you?"
"Let me surprise him." She said with a wink.
"You know the way." Connie gave her an easy smile. .
Susan politely waved and headed through the double doors that led to Robert's office. When she reached the door with the nameplate, Dr. Robert Thompson, she noticed it was slightly open. A voice coming from inside caused her to stop.
"Yes, I have him just where I want him." The woman's voice said with a laugh. "Pretty soon he'll forget all about his wife."
Susan strained to hear the woman's conversation. She was obviously on the phone as no other voice came from beyond the door.
"Oh yes, he's a fine prize alright. He's wealthy, handsome, intelligent, and great in bed. His wife probably doesn't realize just how lucky she is." The woman continued.
"Hell no, I'm not sorry. Well, it's her own fault. She spends too much time away from him. You know she's always with her garden club friends and she's always running here and there with the twins. Poor man, no wonder he's lonely, she hardly gives him any attention at all."
Susan felt her body go numb.
"Yes, I'm seeing him tonight. His daughter has skating lessons over on the South side and we are meeting for drinks... and maybe other stuff..." The woman laughed out loud.
Susan stood outside the door not breathing. Her mind played through a million scenarios. It couldn't possibly be her Robert this woman was taking about, her Robert could never cheat on her. But she knew no other doctor with twins. Was it true? Had she lost him to another woman-a younger woman? She wanted to run-run away from this ugly reality but her feet wouldn't move.
Suddenly, the door opened and Susan was face to face with Robert's young assistant, Debra. They had met only the once before at a dinner party held at the Thompson's house three weeks earlier. Neither woman spoke as Debra realized that Susan must have been standing outside the door during her phone conversation.
"Susie?"
Both women jumped at the sound of Robert's booming voice as it echoed down the hallway. Susan broke eye contact with Debra long enough to turn and see a smiling Robert. From his expression, she could tell he was happy to see her. He practically bounced down the hall as he neared her. Debra stood quietly wishing the floor would open up and swallow her.
"I wasn't expecting to see you today, Sweetheart." Robert leaned over and kissed Susan's cheek. If she looked bewildered or lost, he didn't notice. He just continued to smile at her. It wasn't until he tried to usher her inside his office that he noticed Debra.
"Are you finished with your call?" He asked.
"Oh...yes..." Debra managed to sputter.
"Good. That test we've been working on is almost finished. Would you mind watching it while I visit with my wife?" Debra did as she was asked rushing to the lab without looking back.
"Come on in, Honey." Robert placed his hand in the small of Susan's back and led her into his office. As soon as he closed the door, he kissed her soundly. Susan tensed. Robert eyed her carefully when she didn't return his attentions.
"Susie, something wrong?" He asked puzzled. Noticing her rigid body language and unusual expression, he reached for her elbow. "Sit down, Honey. You look a little flushed."
He led her over to one of the large brown leather chairs that faced his massive Mahoney desk. Kneeling down on one knee, he reached for her wrist to take her pulse. On impulse, she pulled her wrist back.
"Susan?" He asked with a voice filled with concern.
Susan's mind was moving in a hundred directions at once. She wasn't entirely sure of everything she'd overheard.. Thinking quickly, she closed her eyes and leaned back in the chair. "It's just hot in here...I must be overheated."
"We're having problems with the heaters on this floor. I'll get you some water." Robert jumped up and headed over to a table under the window. Quickly, he found a water pitcher and a clean glass.
"Here ya go." He said as he handed her a glass of water.
Susan touched her lips to the glass barely drinking anything.
"Are you feeling better?" Robert has resumed his kneeling position. He placed his hand over her forehead.
"I'm fine." Susan said.
Robert pulled up the other leather chair. "Good, you gave me quite a scare. How was your meeting?"
"Good. Mrs. Saunders will be judging the winter show." She said bravely.
"Ah..." He said with a shake of his head. He really didn't understand her interest in the garden club but tried to seem interested.
A knock at the door caused Susan to jump. Robert reached over to her taking her hand. It was the second time she'd jumped since she'd been there. This unusual behavior was beginning to bother him.
A tall skinny blonde young man peeked inside the office. "Dr. Thompson?"
"Yes, Derek."
"Your experiment has run its course. Would you like to check the results?"
"I'll be right there."
Derek closed the door and was gone.
"I'm sorry. I need to go check some things. Will you be here when I get back?" He asked hopefully.
"I don't think so. I need to get Helena from practice."
"Okay, I'll get Missy to her practice." He brushed his lips over hers. "Can you make it downstairs on your own?"
"I'll be fine. You go ahead."
"Okay. See you at home." He said as he left the room.
Susan sat alone in his office her mind full of questions. Slowly she gathered her things to leave. As she stood, something on the table caught her eye. It was Robert's date book. Susan's heart began to beat heavily. Never in nearly twenty years of marriage had she felt the needed to check up on her husband. After all, they were married and were suppose to have absolute faith in one another. She inched toward the table slowly. She had to know if Robert was cheating. She opened the calendar and began to flip through the months. The book didn't appear to reveal anything out of the ordinary golf games, men's club meetings, and the girls' hectic schedules. Then she flipped opened the month of November. On several dates she noticed under "Missy Lesson" the word, "Debra" was written in Robert's handwriting. Susan's heart sank. Squeezing her eyes shut to keep the tears from falling, she closed the calendar and quickly left the building though the stairwell. When she reached the parking lot, she locked herself in the car and cried.
When she finally pulled herself together, it was late. She found a pay phone and made arrangements for someone to pick up Helena. Then she returned to her car still unsure what to do. Suddenly, she noticed Robert walking over to his car. Checking her watch, she realized that he must be on his way to retrieve Missy from school. In her mind, she replayed Debra's phone conversation.
As Susan pondered this new reality, she noticed Debra leaving the building. Would Debra still have the nerve to meet Robert after work? The tall leggy twenty five year old grad student was fashionably dressed in her short red velvet mini skirt and spiky red pumps something Susan had not noticed earlier. For a moment, Susan thought she looked like a glorified streetwalker, flaunting her assets as if they were for sale. As Debra slipped into her small yellow sports car, Susan made a decision. She would go to the ice rink and see for herself if Robert was really cheating on her.
Almost an hour later, Susan pulled into the Southwest Side shopping mall. Melissa's skating lessons were taught at ice rink in the center of the mall. The story she overheard earlier was beginning to seem real-too real.
She reviewed the scene at the office. Robert seemed overjoyed to see her. He hardly acknowledged Debra. Maybe it was an act, something planned in the event she came by the office unexpectedly. Susan sat nervously in her car thinking. The future of her whole marriage hinged on the next few minutes. What would she do if she saw them together? Would she cause a scene? Accuse him of being a lying cheating Son of a Bitch? Would she slap Debra? Would she go home pack Robert's things and have them waiting for him in the garage when he arrived? She didn't know.
Summoning all the courage she could find, Susan got out of the car. With her heart pounding she walked slowly toward the mall. She made her way to the ice rink staying mainly in the shadows of the stands. Missy was already on the ice spinning in a rapid circle as the other skaters moved by. Susan glanced around the stands. Directly across the rink from her and about 10 rows from the top, she spotted Robert. To her surprise, he sat alone reading his newspaper and drinking coffee.
"I must be crazy." She muttered to herself in relief.
However as she turned to leave a flash of red caught her eye. Debra entered the portal at the top of the rink. Slithering down the steps, she sauntered over to Robert. At first, Robert simply sat reading his paper. Susan almost chuckled at the irony. She had often found that when Robert crawled behind the sports section there was no getting his attention. She waited to see what would happen. The sound of her heart pounding in her ears was deafening.
Robert sat completely consumed by his paper until he felt the slight weight of a hand on his thigh. He folded the paper neatly and placed it in the empty seat next to him before turning toward Debra. He covered her hand with his then turned his attention out on the ice to check on Missy.
Susan began to fume.
They sat like that for several long moments simply watching the skaters. Debra leaned over and blew seductively into Robert's ear. Robert reached over and placed the newspaper in his lap.
Susan saw red.
When Debra leaned over and started openly nibbling on Robert's ear. Susan noticed that he closed his eyes- a sure sign that he was aroused. Then she sat back in her chair with a satisfied look on her face. She's obliviously achieved her goal.
Debra and Robert sat watching the skaters awhile. Susan watched, gritting her teeth and shaking with rage. Her fists were clenched tightly and she was unaware of the crescent shaped cuts her nails were making inside the soft flesh of her hands.
Without warning, Debra leaned over, kissed Robert's cheek and left the rink. Slithering back the same way she slithered in. Robert watched her go. Afterwards, he turned his attention back to the ice remaining alone for the rest of the lesson. Susan watched him retrieve Melissa at the end of her practice and head home. When he reached the entrance to their neighborhood, Susan drove to a nearby parking lot and sat. She needed to get her thoughts together before she went home.
She replayed the memories from the rink and the office over and over. Debra had certainly been the aggressor. She touched Robert first; she kissed Robert. Robert didn't really do anything to Debra. However, Robert didn't do anything to stop or reject Debra's attention. She thought about the calendar. Debra's name had only appeared on 6 entries. Had they only kissed? Had they gone farther? The thought of Robert with another woman made her blood boil. How would Debra know how he is in bed? Was she just bragging to her friends? Had they met on more than just those six occasions or were those the only times Robert had slipped up and written it down?
Knowing it was getting late, Susan reluctantly headed home She wasn't sure what she would do but she had to do something.
At home, the girls met her at the door each chattering wildly about their day. Both girls would soon heading to Miller's Bluff and each day leading up to the trip had the girls more excited. They talked non-stop about the things they would do there. They pulled her in different directions from the time she walked in the house until they headed upstairs to do their homework. It was a welcomed distraction keeping her mind something other than what she had witnessed earlier.
When the house grew quiet, Susan headed into the kitchen to tidy up after dinner. To her surprise Robert joined her. He chattered on and on about the results of his experiment. If his hunch was right, the new drug would ease the sufferings of many. When Susan didn't respond, he stopped talking. Her back was to him as she stood at the sink. She knew that Robert could tell something was wrong. From behind her, Robert eased his arms around her waist. Susan jumped and became stiff in his arms.
"Hey...hey...hey, it's just me." She felt his warm breath on her neck.
Susan stood still-mentally willing her body to relax. She wasn't ready to confront him yet.
Still standing behind her, he took the dish she was holding from her and placed it in the dishwasher. Then he pulled her hands from the water and gently rinsed the soap off. Taking the towel from his shoulder, he lovingly dried her hands.
"That's better." He whispered. Wrapping his arms around her, he hugged her to his body. Her body was still rigid against his. "Susan, aren't you feeling well?"
"I'm just a little tired." She said weakly. "It's been a busy week."
He kissed her cheek. "Well, the week is almost over. Soon the girls will leave for Miller's Bluff. Aw...just think of it Susie, a whole week without the girls...no cheerleading, ice-skating, football games, piano lesson. Did I tell you I'm taking off work starting next Tuesday?"
The news stunned Susan. She turned around and looked at him. Robert rarely took off work. "Why?"
Robert smiled and leaned down to nibble her neck, "Because you will be home and they won't and I miss my wife and I want to be with you."
Susan pursed her lips tightly to keep the words, "And not with Debra!" from slipping out. However, she couldn't keep the tears from slipping out. Despite her best efforts they trailed out of the corners of her eyes.
Robert leaned back smiling. The sight of his wife's tears caught him completely off guard. "Susan!" He said alarmed. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." She said impatiently. "Just don't touch me."
Robert stepped back.
Susan fought hard to compose herself. "I'm tired, okay?" She said softly. "I'm going to bed." She removed his hands from around her waist and left the kitchen.
Upstairs Susan locked herself in the bathroom, turned on the shower and sat on the floor and cried. When she was able to pull herself back together, she realized she had to start making some decisions. The most immediate would be where she would sleep. She thought about the spare room or maybe the sofa but she knew if she slept anywhere but their bed, Robert would want an explanation. Sleeping in their bed was her only opinion. Buried in the bottom of her lingerie chest, she found the ugliest flannel nightgown she owned. Her parents had given it to her years ago. Robert hated it. He said flannel was something to be worn when hunting deer and when he came to bed with her he wasn't hunting deer with two "e"s. Susan had worn the gown on occasions when she was sick with a fever finding it kept her warm and comfortable. Robert usually avoided her when she wore it. It was perfect. She pulled it on and went to bed making sure she hugged her side of the bed firmly.
The morning came slowly even though Robert stayed on his side of the bed. Susan went through the motions of getting the girls to school and Robert to work but she felt nothing. After they were all gone and the house was quiet, Susan sat down and did some serious thinking. Although she was furious with him, those feelings had to be placed aside. She had to be objective. What was really going on with her marriage? How had they reached this point? Maybe she was at fault? Maybe it was a midlife crisis?
She took out her own calendar. Every square on it was covered with some kind of commitment. The girls needed constant shuffling, the garden club, the civic club; the country club and the hospital's women auxiliary were almost always demanding some part of her attention. She went into the den and pulled out the calendar that Robert kept on his desk. His calendar was almost an exact duplicate of hers. Besides his normal hospital activities and the girl's schedules, he also had commitments to his own civic clubs. No wonder they hardly ever saw each other. They lived in the same house and slept in the same bed but seemed to be living separate lives.
Susan closed her eyes and looked deep within herself. Did she still love him? Was it over? Would she be able to get past this? Twenty years worth of marital memories passed before her eyes. Their first meeting, he was so handsome; the sight of him sweeping her completely off her feet. The first touch in the backseat of his car; the first time they made love; their wedding day; the day she found out she was pregnant; the day the girls were born; the day she nearly died all flashed across her mind every memory always ending with him loving her; his utter complete devotion to her in times of triumph and tragedy. When she opened her eyes, she had made up her mind. Yes, she was still hurt, yes she was still mad, but she'd be damned if some young harlot was going to steal him away. He wasn't perfect but he was hers and she was going to fight for him.
She remembered something her father always said to her, Susan, sometimes in this life you have to fight for what you want. When that doesn't work, just remember everyone has their price! People will do anything for money. Don't ever be afraid to use it.
With that mantra in her head, Susan set out to get what she wanted: Robert.
That afternoon during a time she knew Robert would be in lab, she went to his office. She flipped through his phone list until she found Debra's number.
"Hello."
"Debra? This is Susan Thompson."
Silence.
"You remember me, don't you? Robert's wife." Susan emphasized the last word.
"Oh, yes." Debra answered carefully.
"Please join me in my husband's office." Susan's tone that indicated that she would not accept anything less that her attendance.
"I'll be right there." Debra answered.
Susan moved to sit behind Robert's desk. She wanted to be as menacing as possible. She also needed something between herself and Debra in case she felt inclined to slap the young woman.
Debra knocked lightly before opening the door. From behind the desk, Susan indicated that she should take a seat. Debra slunk into the room.
Susan leaned back in the chair and crossed her arms over her chest. "I assume you know why I wanted to see you?"
"I'm sorry I don't," She said in a short tone.
From the look in her eye, Susan could tell that Debra knew this confrontation-- the one with Robert's wife- was inevitable after yesterday. When Debra's demeanor changed from cautious to belligerent, Susan realized she was going have to pull out the big guns to intimidate the younger woman.
"Oh, I think you do. Did you find things cozy at the ice rink yesterday?" Susan didn't blink.
"Actually, I did." Debra returned.
"Yes, I saw you. Tell me, how do you live with yourself knowing your rubbing elbows and heaven knows what else with my husband knowing our child is only a few feet away? How proud your parents must be." Susan's voice dripped with sarcasm.
Debra snorted, "He's a big boy but then I guess you already know that." Debra added insult to injury by winking. "I didn't force him and he certainly didn't push me away."
"Nor did he touch you back." She rose from the desk and stood behind Debra's chair.
"While I know that Robert's not innocent in this matter, I do know this. I saw you putting your hands on something that belongs to me. I hate when it when someone touches something of mine." Susan spun Debra's chair around quickly causing Debra to temporarily lose her balances and slump in the chair.
"Listen carefully: stay away from him!"
"And if I don't?" Debra challenged.
"I know the Dean of the Medical School. With one call, I can ruin your life little girl- don't screw with me. And don't screw with my husband."
Debra rose from the chair to face Susan. "Don't you dare threaten me. And I've already screwed your husband. Perhaps if you were home taking care of him instead of your snooty country club friends, he wouldn't have strayed so easily. And oh, did he stray! Tell me, Mrs. Thompson, do you want the details?"
Susan stood speechless. She wasn't expecting this type of confrontation.
"Well, do you? It doesn't matter because I'm going to give them to you anyway."
Debra moved to the other side of the room. She turned toward Susan, her eyes filled with venom. "It started two months ago. We had to work late one night. He'd had an awful day. His experiment had gone badly. We came back here from the lab. All he wanted was a bourbon and to talk with you. I was in here when he called home and Helena told him you weren't there. You were out with your fancy civic club buddies-again!"
Debra laughed, "His disappointment was written all over his handsome face."
Susan glared at Debra.
"Oh yes, Susan, he is handsome isn't he? So handsome and so lonely." Debra said with a smirk. We shared some bourbons, too many perhaps, he told me how he loved you, how he longed for you. I paid attention while he talked. He complained that his neck was hurting him and I readily rubbed it for him. That wasn't all I rubbed that night, Susan."
Susan wasn't going to stand by and listen to any further details.
"Are you quite finished now?" Susan's tone was shockingly calm even though her hands were clenched behind her back.
Debra stopped.
"Here's what I think, I think you are a opportunist conniving little bitch who didn't get enough of her father's attention when she was younger. You do realize that Robert is old enough to be your father? Don't you?" Susan turned and headed toward Robert's desk.
"I also think that there's a big case of hero worship thrown in there too. I can see you'd get a big thrill getting to work with a scientist of Robert's reputation. I can call him Robert, can't I? I mean I have been slept with him more often that you have." She brushed pasted her and resumed her seat behind Robert's desk.
"On the other hand, I don't think you are as dumb as you look, and Debra- you do look dumb."
Debra started to say something but Susan cut her off. "You had your turn, Child."
"I do have a way out of this mess for both of us." Susan noticed she had Debra's attention. "You leave."
"What?!" Debra angrily replied. "I'm too close to finishing my rotation to leave."
Susan leaned on the desk and stared her down.
"I'm prepared to compensate you for your tuition and expenses."
"Lady, you are out of your mind." Debra huffed.
"And you've chosen the wrong woman to piss off." Susan stood her ground. "You and I both know that I can pick up that phone and end your career and by doing so end my marriage. But I don't think either one if us wants that. We've both worked hard to get where we are. Are you ready to risk your career just when it's beginning?"
"Very slick, but what if he wants me and not you?" Debra fumed.
"Oh please, you can't possibly think that."
"Get real Susan, men leave their wives for younger women everyday."
"Maybe some men do, but not my man. You don't really love him and you know he doesn't love you. I can offer both of us a way out of this mess."
"What if I don't want a way out? What if I love him, too?"
"What? You love him? Please!"
"Well maybe I do."
The two women stood facing one another for several minutes.
Susan broke the silence. "Here's the bottom line, I'll give you $20,000 to pack your things and leave town."
"And if I don't?"
"I'll make that call. It's your choice, take the money and run or stand and face my wrath."
Debra huffed loudly.
"Twenty thousand in cash, right now." Susan pulled the cash out of her purse.
Debra looked at the money, eyes wide at the sight of so much cash in one place. "No."
"Fine." Susan calmly reached over for the phone. Debra startled look caught her attention.
"What's wrong, cat got your tongue?" She said as she dialed the numbers on the phone pad.
"You wouldn't do it would you?" Debra's tone changed. "You'd ruin your marriage."
"Oh yes, I would."
"Charlie Duncan, please." Susan said calmly as she sat back and propped her feet up on Robert's desk.
"I don't believe you." Debra said folding her arms defiantly over her chest. "It's not enough. My career is ahead of me. I need to complete my residency."
"Where would you like to do it?"
"What?"
"Where do you want to work? Close to home? Where's that?"
"Oregon, but—"
"Fine, the money and a reassignment."
"You can't possibly—"
Susan tapped a box by the phone.
"Dr. Duncan." The familiar voice sounded from the box.
"Charlie?" Susan called sweetly.
"Susan, what a pleasure. How are you?"
"I'm fine thank you. How's Monica?"
"She's wonderful. Although you should know that. Sometimes I think you speak to her more than I do." Susan laughed with him.
"Charlie, I need a favor." Susan locked eyes with Debra.
"Anything for you, Susan."
Susan looked at Debra. The ball was clearly in her court. Finally, Debra blinked and shook her head quickly. She pointed to the money.
Susan put the money on the table and pulled out a hand written contract. Debra swiftly read the contract and signed her name at the bottom.
"Charlie, you know Robert's assistant, don't you? Debra?"
"Why, yes, I interviewed her and recommended her for the post. Brilliant young woman."
"I know she's done quite a job for him." Susan chose her words carefully. "But a personal problem has come up and she desperately needs a reassignment closer to home in Oregon. Robert would be calling you himself but he's up to his neck in drug trials."
"Yes, he was telling me all about them when we played golf last weekend. This one is going to be a winner."
"He's very excited, and working himself to death. So, I'm handling this little detail for him. Debra would be so grateful. And we would hate for this to affect her career." Susan's voice was syrupy with sympathy that she certainly didn't feel.
"Well, these things do happen. What a shame. I have an old med school buddy in Portland. I'm certain we can arrange something. Do you have her number, or should I just call Robert when I've got the information."
"Her number is right here. She'll be at home packing all afternoon, I'm sure." Susan handed Debra a scratch pad and a pen. Debra quickly supplied the number and Susan rattled it off. "Charlie, you've been wonderful. Now, this situation is rather... delicate. I'm sure you'll be discreet."
"Susan, I am a paragon of discretion. It's in the job description of being a dean."
"And you're wonderful at it. We'll be seeing you New Year's Eve won't we?" Susan said as she reached for the paper folding it carefully.
"Monica has already given me my marching orders. We wouldn't miss it."
Susan slid another sheet of paper toward Debra. Debra quickly read and initialed the document.
"We'll look forward to it. Charlie, thanks so much." Susan took the paper and placed it in the center of Robert's desk.
"Certainly. Call me anytime. I'm always happy to help you or Robert out."
Susan smiled, "Thank you Charlie. I'll talk to you soon."
"Okay, Goodbye."
"Bye."
Susan waited with Debra as she typed her letter of withdrawal from school. She also watched Debra as cleaned out her office. Together they waited for Robert to return from the lab. Susan was there when Debra told Robert she was leaving for personal reasons. Robert looked startled but Susan was by his side telling him that she would call Charlie Duncan and help poor Debra get a reassignment. Robert thought that was an excellent idea, and in an almost telepathic coincidence suggested that Susan remind Charlie about New Year's Eve. Susan gave Debra a triumphant smile as Robert wished her luck and returned to the lab. Susan accompanied Debra to the parking lot.
In the elevator, Debra said, "I really do respect Robert."
Susan watched her out of the corner of her eye.
"He is lonely, Susan. And, he does love you. No, that's not right, he worships you. The times we were together I had the impression he was really thinking of you."
Susan leaned against the wall of the elevator, stunned. She hadn't expected Debra's admission. "Why are you telling me this?"
"Because, he's a special man. And if you don't do something, he'll do this again."
Susan stopped breathing.
"He's a wonderful man with a charismatic personality. He draws people in with his knowledge and his magnetism. However, he loves his wife without fail and misses her terribly. You see, he wasn't looking to cheat. For him, it just happened"
Susan exhaled.
"Debra, I assure you this will not happen again." She thought, but did not add, one way or another.
The elevator door opened.
Debra walked to her little sports car, placed her box of things in it and drove away without looking back.
She sat in the parking garage and cried an endless stream of tears. Some were for the confrontation; some were for Robert's infidelity. When she finished, she told herself those would be the last tears she would cry over this incident. Before she started the car, she silently thanked her father for his advice and his money.
Over the next few days Susan laid out plans with the same precision she had used to plan flower shows and parties at the club, but this would be an extremely intimate affair. Robert was one of those intellectual males that preferred leaving all domestic details to his wife. He might worry over his departmental budget at work, and show a macho interest in 'investments' with his buddies at the country club or the rare visits to the financial planner, but it was doubtful that he could tell you the exact amount of his weekly paycheck. Robert's investment portfolio was part of what Susan considered his 'play money'. She ran the household, paid the bills, planned the major investments, and supervised the planning for their daughters' educations—a lion's share of the latter came from her parents.
Feigning a bout of the flu, she had Robert running back and forth to both the girl's activities, and too busy to get into any more trouble while she made her plans. Once he and the girls left in the morning, she was up and working at her desk in the study. She went through their finances with a fine-tooth comb, and even pulled out the yellowed copy of the pre-nuptial agreement that Robert had signed with a young and naïve version of his signature. Once she was sure of all her options, and all the options she planned to present to him, she picked up the phone and began making arrangements.
The first call she made was to her travel agent. She wanted the girls away from the house as soon as possible. The current plans had them leaving on Monday. Helena had a football game on Friday night. Missy had a skating competition on Saturday. The whole family would attend both events. A noon flight on Sunday was ideal. She changed the tickets.
Then she called George. Her brother-in-law was delighted to hear from her.
"How is the prettiest sister-in-law a man could ask for?" he asked when his secretary put the call through.
"Hello dear, I'm weary to the bone. The twins have finally worn me out."
"They would have worn me out years ago. Missy called me last week and asked me to come to her competition this weekend. Is that still on?"
"Yes. It's the last one until January, thank goodness, and I'm packing the girls off to Texas the next day. Can you join us for dinner afterward?"
"I'll do better than that. I'll pick up the check. Do you mind if I bring a friend along?"
"We never mind. You know that. Anyone I've ever met before?"
"No. He's an absolute sweetheart, though. I promise you'll love him. And he says he skates! Was absolutely enthralled with the idea of an evening of figure skating."
"Well, at least he lies well. Georgie, have you ever thought of settling down?"
"Unfortunately, I've never been blessed with true love the way you and Robert have. So I make do."
Susan swallowed hard but tried to keep her tone light. George was a perceptive old queer. "I called to ask a favor."
"Sweetheart, I'm already spending Saturday night watching a bunch of teenagers figure skate. What other sacrifices do you want me to make?"
"You don't fool me, Georgie. Men in tights are not a sacrifice for you."
George chuckled. "Okay, okay."
"You aren't using the cabin next week are you?"
"The cabin? In winter? How passé!"
"Could we use it?"
"Of course, darling. You're always welcome."
"Is the hot tub drained for the winter or anything?"
"I had one of those greenhouse enclosures put around it last spring. So, no. It's ready for use. I take it you two love birds are looking for a place for a little hanky panky?"
"I know you've offered it to us before, but our schedules just weren't meshing."
"And I also told you I would play chauffer to my nieces any weekend of your choosing. But I figured you weren't needing any help from me after my little brother's bragging about last summer."
Susan laughed. "That was a wonderful vacation." It was amazing how quickly things had changed. Last summer seemed a thousand years away.
"I'll bring the keys with me Saturday night. Will that be sufficient?"
"Marvelous -- but not a word to Robert. I want to surprise him."
"Got it. See you, Saturday, Sweetheart."
Susan then made another couple of calls and was ready for the weekend.
If the girls were disconcerted by the change in plans, Susan distracted them with a quick shopping trip, suggesting that they might need a few things for their trip. She knew her mother would probably greet them at the plane and whisk them to the nearest mall, but the girls didn't object.
Robert didn't object either, and looked pleased when she suggested that he take Monday off too. He brought home reams of greenbar printouts each evening, the results of his tests were in, and he wanted to clear his desk before taking any time off. Her ruse of being sick made him solicitous and he brought her juice and tucked her in bed before heading to his study each evening.
Sunday morning was a whirlwind of activity. Robert got up and fixed the girls breakfast. It wasn't a meal that Susan had much interest in, and on weekdays it was enough of a struggle to get the girls to down a mocha instant breakfast.
Susan knew exactly how long it would take Robert to get the girls to O'Hare, check their bags, get them safely boarded, return to the car and come home. Once the girls were packed into the Oldsmobile and Robert pulled out of the driveway, Susan went into action. She packed two overnight cases and placed them in the back of the Corvette, then she headed for the hairdressers. Her long-time hairdresser was more than happy to meet her after mass for a sizeable tip. She was back in time to slip into a tight little black dress that was much shorter than her usual attire, dark silk hose with a faint suggestion of a pattern, and black heels.
When Robert returned, she was wearing her pearls and her floor-length fur coat. She kissed him and sent him upstairs to dress for dinner. She had already laid out his clothes. As soon as he returned downstairs, she got in the driver's seat of the 'vette—something she rarely ever did.
It was quite a drive to the restaurant. She had made late afternoon reservations at 'their' restaurant. It was exclusive and private. When they were first married, they would save for months for a special occasion to go there together. Lately, they had been there less often, since it was not the sort of place to take teenage girls, and teenage girls did not take kindly to baby sitters. Susan had requested a specific table; one she knew was private enough to hold conversations that would not be overheard.
When she checked her coat, she noted Robert's reaction with pleasure. He liked what he saw. She gave him a rewarding but reserved smile. Robert had a choice to make before he gained her favor.
Throughout the dinner she spoke of other times, their days when Robert was in med school, trips they had taken, things special to the two of them. She asked him about his test results, and Robert responded with enthusiasm. Robert insisted that his team use cutting edge technology. New computer programs had overseen the double-blind tests they had used for this state of their drug testing. It allowed impartial results and seemed to be working quite well. The drug itself was also a stellar performer. Even with the double blind in place, it was obvious which groups were showing improved conditions. Susan was so proud of him, and didn't hesitate to tell him so.
Over their last glass of wine, she looked into his eyes and asked seriously, "How many times did you have sex with her, Robert?"
Robert nearly dropped his wine glass. "You... know?"
"Robert, when have you ever been able to hide anything from me?"
"Oh... Susan. I..."
He wasn't denying it. He had passed her first test. She thought she should hate him, but she found that she couldn't. She still wanted this man—this special man.
"How many times, Robert?"
He sighed, looking down at his hands. "Twice. We had sex twice."
"But you saw her more than that?"
"We worked together, Susan!"
"Robert. That's not what I meant."
"We had lunch, or dinner a couple of times. Susan, I never meant..."
"Just what did you mean, Robert? Are you planning to leave me? Me and the girls?"
"Good God! No! Of course not!"
"Then why would you do something like this, Robert?" Her voice was low, but intense. She still hadn't been able to fathom why.
He shook his head. "I don't know, Susan. It just... kind of ... happened."
"Kind of happened? Robert, that's absurd. You're saying you had a hardon and she was convenient? That you do this sort of thing by accident?"
"Yes... no... No of course not, Susan. I mean, she was there and... God, Susan, I don't know how it happened. I do know it had gotten out of hand and I was more relieved than anything else when she decided to leave."
"Relieved?"
"Yes, relieved. Susan. I love you. I want you. You are my partner, my friend, and my lover--"
"Robert, your actions lately belie that." Susan interrupted. She noticed the waiter headed their way with a water pitcher. She stopped him in his tracks with a look and he turned and walked away. "If it's me that you want, why in God's name did you take up with her?"
Robert looked down at his empty wine glass and ran his finger around the rim. "It didn't start out that way." He shook his head. "And I never imagined it would end up that way. She was the perfect assistant. Always at my elbow, always seeming to know what I wanted. She understood my instructions the first time through, I never had to repeat anything for her. And she was always free with the compliments, the first to congratulate when things went right, not just agreeing with me, but obviously pleased and well aware of what the successes meant. She was just bright and intelligent and we 'clicked'. But I really didn't believe it was anything... physical."
He reached out for Susan's hand, but she moved her hand away. She had no intention of being charmed by him. The look he gave her as she moved away was one of devastation.
"But it became physical," she prompted him.
"We went out for dinner one evening. I was staying late to get the results of some tests, and also, I was supposed to pick up Helena after some silly thing she was at. I was tired. We went out for dinner with one or two others from the office, then returned to my office to wait for the results. She rubbed my shoulders, then she kissed me. Sus, she's not much older than the girls! I was surprised." He sighed. "I guess I was flattered. And I was stupid."
Susan kept quiet. She had no argument with that last statement.
"I told myself that we hadn't done anything wrong. I wouldn't take it any further. But... each time we ended up alone, we went a little further, and a little further. We went to her place. Twice. Once in the evening before I had to go get Melissa. Once for lunch. She invited me back, and I refused. I can't say I didn't enjoy it... it had been a while..." he trailed off, blushing.
Been a while. Susan thought about it. She remembered their calendars, so filled
with dates for this and that. Plus his work, which had kept him late a number
of times this fall. How long had it been since they had been together as a
couple? Even for dinner, it had been a while, and she was thinking now, that
it had been well before Thanksgiving since they had last made love. Between
her parents and the girls, Thanksgiving in Texas was never a relaxing time for
Robert, and she usually didn't press the issue of making love with the girls
in bedrooms across the hall and her parents on the floor below.
"Susan, with our schedules so full, we've just been so busy, and we haven't..." He sighed and sat back, looking at her sadly. "I've missed you. Missed, this." He waved his hand at the table before them and the restaurant at large. "What happened to us?"
She picked up the wine bottle from the cooler and filled both their glasses. She sat back with her glass and took a sip. "It was easier when they were little wasn't it? We just hired a sitter and headed out the door. Now we have to deal with their schedules and our schedules, and this service club and that benefit. We seldom seem to go anywhere just for our own pleasure."
"That's what made last summer so special. Just you and me and the road. I can't think of when I've ever been happier."
Susan smiled, remembering. They spent two weeks traveling the country, spending every minute together, barely speaking to anyone else. Their sex life had never been better. They had laughed together, talked together, made plans together. "How did things go so wrong so quickly?"
Robert leaned forward and captured her hand. "More important. Can we make it right again? What can I do to make it up to you?"
Susan shook her head. She stayed still for a moment, looking at his hands, clasping hers as if it were a lifeline. Slowly, she put her own hand over top of his. She looked up into his eyes. "You want to make it right again?"
"Yes, I do," he stared back as if mesmerized.
"Then..." she took a deep breath. "Then, I forgive you, Robert. We start fresh, tonight. We go carefully through our schedules and eliminate some things. We make time for each other, somehow. I can't say that I'm not still hurting," her eyes filled and she fought it back, this wasn't the time to cry. "But with any luck, our love for each other can get us through this.
"Oh, Susan," Robert's voice broke. For a moment she thought he was going to cry, and she didn't want that either, not here.
She sat back, became more businesslike. She caught the eye of the waiter, who returned with the check in a leather case. She slid her credit card into the case and handed it back to him. Then she turned back to Robert. "It's time to take this someplace more private. The lake isn't far from here."
"The lake!" Robert grinned. "We haven't been there in ages. Do you think it's changed?"
"I hope not much," she said with a smile. The waiter brought the card back, she signed the slip and stood. They headed for the coat room.
"You planned this? It's not just the restaurant, but we're near the lake too."
She smiled coldly. "Yes, I planned this." He helped her into her mink. "But if you hadn't passed the first test, we would never be heading to the lake next."
"The first test?" He pulled on his own overcoat and she took his arm.
"Robert, if you had lied to me, this evening would be ending very differently."
She saw him turn pale and his step faltered, but he patted her arm and squired her out the door without another word.
