Susan Thompson stared out the rain-covered window not really looking at anything. She was mourning the loss of her two daughters, nothing eased the pain. Shaking her head she resumed her task. Their accountant had phoned earlier asking for a copy of Helena's will. It had been 6 weeks since the moon left taking Helena with it. Melissa had left shortly after that, chasing off after that "damned astronaut" as Robert called him. The Space Commission had determined that there was no way anyone could have survived the blast. The families were notified then left alone to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives. Robert had flown to Washington and contacted Neil Harris in hopes of finding some answers. There were none. Susan exhaled deeply hoping to quell the tears that were gathering in her eyes. She opened the drawer of her father's antique desk and began to search for Helena's will.

The door behind her opened and Susan turned around to see the face of Maggie, the family's housekeeper. Maggie had been with the family for over 25 years and she was more like a member of the family than an employee. Maggie quietly entered the room and walked over toward Susan. She gently placed her hands on Susan's shoulders. "Mr. Robert called." She said as she made eye contact with the other woman. "He's back in Austin and on his way home."

"Thank you." Susan replied softly as she covered Maggie's hands with her own.

"Want some help?"

Susan shook her head and squeezed Maggie's hand.

"I'll be right outside if you need me."

"I know. Thank you, Maggie." She forced a smile. Maggie had always raised the twins as if they were her own and Susan knew that she was hurting too. The two women exchanged hugs and she left Susan to deal with the task at hand.

"Oh God, give me strength," Susan prayed as she removed a stack of envelopes from the drawer. She opened the first envelope and pulled out Helena's power of attorney. She placed in on the desk. The next envelope contained Helena's will. She couldn't bring herself to open it so she gently placed it beside the other one on the desk. As Susan went to close the drawer she saw an 8 X 10 manila mailing envelope stuck down in the side of the drawer. She pulled it out and turned it over. There was blue writing on the front; she recognized it as that of her husband. The words 'other expenses' were written on the front. Thinking this might be something Helena had given to Robert, Susan opened the envelope and inspected its contents. A slow burn stared in the pit of her stomach as she read the letters inside the envelope. The first document was a letter from Robert to Neil. The letter was to confirm a prior conversation whereby Neil agreed to use his influence to have Alan Carter assigned to the moon and away from his daughter. Susan's body shook with anger with the realization that her husband bribed Harris to get Alan away from Melissa.

"How could he?" She asked to no one in particular. Quickly, she opened the next letter and read it. "THAT SON OF A BITCH!" She screamed. Maggie bolted into the room to find Susan pacing around the room shaking and screaming.

"Miss Susan, what's wrong?" Maggie frantically asked.

"THAT SON OF A BITCH! HE'S THE REASON SHE WAS THERE!"

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

"HE DID IT! HE PAID HARRIS TO GET HELENA APPOINTED TO ALPHA! HE WANTED HER AWAY FROM JOHN! THAT BASTARD. HE'S THE REASON MY BABY IS DEAD NOW." Susan produced the check and handed it to Maggie.

Maggie put the check down and moved toward Susan. She didn't understand what was going on but she knew it must be bad. Susan never ever raised her voice and she certainly had not ever used those words to describe Mr. Robert.

Susan leaned her head against Maggie's shoulder and told her about the documents she had discovered. Maggie just held her until she stopped shaking. She led her over to the couch and moved to the bar to make her a drink. She held out the bourbon to Susan telling her to drink it. Then she sat down with her and grabbed her hands.

"Miss Susan is there anything I can do?"

Susan shook her head and stared down into her drink. Without looking up she said, "Thank you for everything Maggie, You are a good friend to me. I think I'd like to be left alone."

"Yes ma'am. I'll just go into the kitchen and start something for dinner."

"That won't be necessary. I'd like to be alone with Robert when he returns."

"Now Miss Susan, I'm not about to leave you here alone in this condition."

She looked up at the other woman, "You must. I must talk to my husband alone. Please Maggie, go on home."

Maggie watched Susan for a long moment. She was worried about her friend. Eventually, she complied with her request and left her alone hoping that everything would be work out between her and Dr. Thompson.

Robert pulled the Lincoln into the driveway and parked by his wife's car. He wasn't looking forward to telling her about his meeting with Neil. As he neared the house he noticed that most of the lights were off. He looked about for Maggie's car and realized that something must be wrong. The house was dark and silent as he made his way through the kitchen and into the dinning room. "Susie?" He called as he walked from room to room. "Susie?" The light in the den was peeking out from under the door and he moved toward it. When he opened the door he saw her sitting there with her back to him. "Susie, why didn't you answer me?" She didn't turned around. He called her again, "Susie?"

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" She screamed as she came up off the couch. She rushed up to him and beat her fists against his chest. "YOU BASTARD!"

"Susan! What come over you?" He grabbed her fists to prevent her from continuing to hit him.

She pulled back with a jerk and stood shaking as her anger shot to the surface.

"I found the checks!"

"What checks?"

"The ones you gave Neil. The ones that sent Helena and Alan to Alpha. The ones that killed our Helena and drove Missy insane. You sorry old bastard, I knew one day you'd ruin their lives with your controlling way. My father was right! He said you'd ruin my life and you have! YOU KILLED MY GIRLS!"

Robert dropped to his knees in front of her and began to cry. She was right he had done all those things. He'd been living with the guilt of his actions since the news first broke about the moon leaving. What could he say to her?

Susan walked away from him and stood on the other side of the room with her back to him. "Robert, I want you to leave."

Tears were rolling down his face as he looked up at her. "No, you can't mean that."

When Susan turned around he could see that she was crying. "Yes, I'm sure."

"Sus.."

"No. Just go, please."

He stood and watched her for a very long minute. "I only did it to protect them. I thought I was doing the right thing."

"Just go." She said softly.

"Despite what you think, I do love you, Susan. And I did love our daughters." He picked up his jacket and left her alone.

She heard the front door close and watched his car pulled out of the driveway then she knelt down on the floor and cried.

The next morning Maggie arrived at the Thompson house before lunch. She heard movement from the Thompson's bedroom and went to investigate. When she opened the door there were boxes everywhere. Maggie was horrified by Susan's appearance. She was pale and her hair was a mess. The clothes she wore were the same ones from yesterday.

"Maggie, come in and help me." Susan said when she noticed her standing in the doorway.

"Miss Susan, what are you doing?"

"Dr. Thompson is moving out." She said as she flung Robert's shoes into a box.

"What? No Miss Susan no." Maggie rushed to her side and hugged her tightly. The soft human contact caused Susan to stop her activities and with a gush of emotion she broke down and cried against Maggie's shoulder.

"I can't live with him anymore. I just can't. He's broken my heart and I don't think it can be put back together. My girls are gone-dead- My girls are gone." She cried heavily against her friend's shoulder.

"Oh Miss Susan. I'm so sorry." Maggie said as she held her.

Two days later, Robert Thompson quietly entered the back door of his wife's kitchen. He was there to retrieve his belongs. Maggie greeted him at the door and offered him a cup of coffee. He looked as bad as Susan. He was wearing a rumpled suit, probably the same one he wore on his way back from Washington, Maggie thought as she eyed him across the table. He was unshaven and carried dark circles under his eyes. And he wouldn't look up, yes Maggie thought; this man is as heart broken as his wife.

"How is she?" He asked softly without looking up from his cup.

"Bad as you." Maggie replied.

"I didn't mean to hurt her. I would never hurt her. I promised her that twenty years ago." His voice cracked with emotion.

Maggie leaned forward and touched his arm. "Mr. Robert, why don't you talk to her."

"I've tried. She won't talk to me." He looked out the window past the stable staring a nothing in particular. Then he stood and moved past her, "Guess I'd better get my things."

Maggie watched him go. As soon as he was completely out of the room, she headed for the stable. Susan told her she would be out in the paddock with her champion thoroughbred, Jack.

When Maggie entered the stable she saw Susan standing near the last stall. The palomino stood still while Susan combed his long luxurious mane. The horse glanced her way and tossed his head.

"Miss Susan?" She asked more than a little nervous about what she was about to do.

"Yes?" Susan replied without looking up.

"Mr. Robert's here."

Susan stopped and looked at her. "What does he want?"

"He's here to get his things."

"I see." She said coldly. "Fine, let him so I can be rid of him."

Maggie moved further into the stable. When she reached Susan she pulled her over to a nearby locker and made her sit down. "Miss Susan, I've been with this family a long time. So long that I feel like you are my sister and those girls are my own flesh and blood. Now, I know that you and Mr. Robert are having troubles, Lord knows all marriages do. But the two of you have been together a long time."

"I know what you're saying, Maggie but this time is different."

"I don't know why Mr. Robert did this but I do know that man worships the ground you walk on and that he loves his children. You and I both know that he would do anything or pay any amount of money if he thought he could protect them."

"Yes. We do know that, don't we?" Susan answered softly.

"I know you're hurting. I lost a child of my own once. I know the hole it leaves right here inside your heart." Maggie lifted her hand and covered her heart. "It's a loss you don't ever get over."

Maggie drew Susan into her embrace and continued. "When my Danny was killed in the war I didn't think I could survive. I cried for what seemed like days. But one day I woke up and I said to myself, Magdalena you can spent the rest of your days mourning yourself to death and be of no use to anyone or you can get up and put one foot in front of the other and start to move on with your life. And that's what I did."

"Now I know that you think Mr. Robert is responsible for the girls but if you think about it Helena wanted to be up there and she's just a stubborn as you and she would have found a way up there with or without her daddy's help."

"And Missy?" Susan asked softly.

Maggie laughed, "Well you know Missy is just like Mr. Robert no one's going to tell her what to do. I'm surprised she wasn't up there with her man when the thing left."

A smile chased across Susan's lips as she listened.

"Don't be too hard on him Miss Susan, he was just doing what he thought was right. You two don't need to fight right now. You need to pull together and help each other get through this."

"I don't think I can."

"Oh I expect you can. He's inside now and he's just as sad and broken hearted as you are."

"Really?"

Maggie smiled, "And you both look like shit and if you don't get in there and talk to him I'm going to have to beat some sense into both of you."

Susan laughed.

"Now go on, go inside and talk to your husband."

"I'm scared."

"I know you are and so is he." Maggie stood and pulled her up off the trunk. "Go, go to him Susan make amends if you can."

"Gracias-- muchas gracias, Magdalena. You are a dear friend." Susan hugged her tightly and then slowly made her way back to the house.

As she walked inside she heard Robert in the front room stacking boxes. He turned in time to see her standing in the doorway. He stopped moving the boxes and watched her.

"Hi." He said softly

"Hi." She repeated

"I'll be out of your way soon." He pointed to the boxes.

Tears began to stream down her face and she began to tremble. He rushed toward her and scooped her up into his arms. "Oh Susie, I did a stupid stupid thing. I'm so sorry."

She buried her head against his shoulder. "Rob, our girls are... gone." She sobbed uncontrollably as he held her tightly. They held each other and cried for what seemed like forever. Eventually, they broke apart. Robert looked into his wife's red and swollen eyes and wiped her tears away. "God, I'm so sorry I hurt you like this. You're right, it's all my fault. If I hadn't interfered in their lives they would still be here."

"Maybe." She said as she put her fingers up to his lips to silence him. "But more than likely, Helena would have made it on her own."

"And Missy?"

Susan pulled him to her. "Melissa did what she did because she's Missy."

"So where does this leave us?" He held his breath waiting for her response.

"Hurting."

"Alone?"

She waited several minutes to respond then she spoke the words he thought he'd never hear again, "Despite what's happened, I...can't stop loving you. I can't get through this without you. I'm not sure I forgive you, but I can't get through this alone."

He released her slowly and tilted her head so he could look in her eyes. "I love you, Susan and I know that my life would be over without you. I'll do whatever I have to in order to make this up to you. Please try to forgive me." Tears raced down his cheeks as he moved his lips to touch hers.

Outside, Maggie watched through the window as they both held each other and cried. Smiling she made her way back from the stable. It wouldn't be an easy road for either of them but together they would find their way.

Maureen J. Long

March, 2000