Davey took a seat in his Aunt Helena’s office and forced himself to smile across the desk at her. He felt acutely uncomfortable in her presence, in spite of the fact that she was his godmother and had known him all his life. Since his breakdown on Loki she had assumed the role of his psychiatrist, and he wasn’t quite sure how to handle that. It was also only his second visit to her office since he’d been discharged from Medical Center and he wanted to make a good impression.

"How are you feeling, Davey?" Helena enquired.

"Oh, much better," he replied, realising that the words might have burst from his mouth a little too quickly, because he felt so nervous.

"Are your hands still itching?" she asked.

He’d complained of itching hands the last time she’d seen him, thinking that it was caused by the fact that he’d temporarily banned himself from playing any of his instruments while he recovered. Helena had told him it was actually a side-effect of the medication he was taking to control his condition, but he wasn’t convinced that she was right.

"My hands are fine now, thank you," he replied, forcing himself to reply in a more measured voice this time. "Like I said, I’m feeling much better. I’m not having nightmares any more and I’m sleeping well, now that I’m back at work."

"I’m pleased to hear that," said Helena. "I want you to continue with your medication and since you’re feeling so good, we won’t change a thing. Sahn says you’re making good progress at work, too. How do you feel about being back in Main Mission?"

"Without my father being there, you mean?" asked Davey, noting that she was observing him very closely.

Helena nodded.

"It was very painful for me, the first time I walked in there," he said. "Sahn has made things much easier, though. I really appreciate that she’s spending more time in Main Mission, helping Ben Ouma and I fill the gap that Dad left behind. I know she’d rather be alone in her own quarters most of the time. She’s been so kind."

Helena stood up from her desk and walked around to his side, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"You’ve been through a terrible time Davey," she said. "It’s good to see you getting back on your feet; you always were my favourite godson, you know."

"Your only godson, don’t you mean!" he laughed, standing up too, and kissing his Aunt Helena on the cheek.

"I do feel much better- more normal. I’ve even moved back into my own quarters, as of yesterday."

He saw the sudden concern in her eyes and realised he should have kept his mouth shut about that.

"It’s okay, it’s okay," he said quickly. "I have dinner with Mum every night to make sure she’s okay, and I’m taking my medication. I just need to have my space back, if you know what I mean."

"I do," sighed Helena. "But I want you to report to me every three days for the next couple of weeks. Sooner, if you feel you need to."

"I promise I will," Davey replied, in his most solemn voice. "I never want to go back to feeling the way I did."

He exited the office and made his way out of Medical Center, heading down to an older area of Alpha, where he had his quarters. It was a relief to step through his door and watch it slide shut behind him. A relief to shut out the rest of the Moonbase. Everywhere he went, he felt that people were staring at him; whispering about him.

There goes the looney.

There were only a very few people that Davey felt he could trust. One was Neil Garforth, one was Sahn Benes and the other was Layla Habibi, down on Loki. In fact, he was sure that if he hadn’t had Layla’s support, he would have been lost. He’d been e-mailing her every few days since his return from Loki; pouring out his feelings in long, long sentences of grief and love and lately, hope. She’d helped him to see that somehow he had lost his way for a short time, but now he was almost ready to resume his role in life. A role in which spirituality, as well as music, would always play a big part.

Sitting down at his computer, he powered it up and began another letter to Layla, telling her how his meeting with his godmother / psychiatrist had gone.

___________________________

Dear Layla,

____________________________

Davey had just posted his mail and was shutting down his computer when the wall monitor beeped, announcing that there was someone outside his quarters. He smiled and opened the door when he saw that it was Neil.

"I was just about to call you!" he exclaimed. "Come in!"

Neil stepped inside and Davey noted how nervous he looked.

"What’s wrong?" he asked.

"Um, nothing," said Neil. "What were you going to call me for?"

"I’ve decided that I want my instruments back," said Davey. "I’m ready, Neil. I’m ready to play again."

Neil smiled at him and then looked away.

"That’s great news," he whispered.

"We can play together again, at least for a while," Davey continued. "It probably won’t surprise you to learn that I’d like to go back to Loki again in a few months’ time, but for the moment we can work on some new songs."

Neil cleared his throat and looked at the floor. Davey frowned, wondering what the hell was going on with him.

"Aren’t you pleased?" he asked.

"Of course I am," Neil replied. "But Davey, I’ve come here to tell you something."
"Go on," said Davey.

"A couple of days ago, I went to see the Commander. I’ve applied for and received a fast-track transfer down to Loki. Permanently."

Davey couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Neil, moving to Loki permanently?

He didn’t know whether to feel pleased or jealous.

"How did you arrange such a fast transfer, and why didn’t you tell me before now?" he asked.

"It wasn’t a definite thing," mumbled Neil, shaking his head. "But I heard that Dover needed a good Eagle technician / pilot and I fell in love with the planet when we were down there, in... in spite of what happened."

"The planet wasn’t all that you fell in love with when we were on Loki, was it," said Davey.

He saw Neil blush, but still the younger man refused to say anything about a woman. Davey wondered for a second if it wasn’t a woman down there at all, but a man. Perhaps that was why he was so loathe to tell him about any alliance he might have formed.

"It’s the planet I’m interested in Davey," Neil continued. "Surely you of all people can understand that. Both Commander Koenig and Mr. Verdeschi was happy to approve my transfer and since my section can spare me here on Alpha, I’m leaving next week."

Davey felt jealousy of his friend begin to rise and overwhelm any pleasurable feelings. He gritted his teeth and tried to cover his reaction up with smiles and good words.

"Well this calls for a celebration," he said jovially. "Let’s go down to the Grotto and have a few drinks!"

Neil hastily shook his head.

"You can’t- remember your medication."

Anger flashed across Davey’s mind. He wasn’t an invalid and would drink whenever he felt like it! He kept his face straight and continued talking, with an effort. If he lost his temper, Neil might go and speak to Helena about him.

"Well let’s go over to your quarters and get my instruments, anyway," he said. "We can talk about Loki on the way. It won’t be many months before I’m back down there myself. Oh- and by the way, will you take a present down to Loki for me? It’s something special that I want to give to Layla. Remember I told you how much help she’s been to me and how we’ve been corresponding by e-mail? Well, I want to give her a present to show her how grateful I am for her kindness."

"Of course I will," said Neil quietly. "I’m sure I’ll be seeing her there."

* * * *

Layla Habibi finished reading her two e-mails and logged off her computer in Dover’s operations center. One was from Davey Kano; it sounded quite upbeat, if a little manic and she wondered if he really was okay. Since he’d left Loki, he’d been e-mailing her regularly. She’d replied on a few occasions, offering kind words of sympathy and wishing him all the best, but that was all. Nevertheless, he wrote with great regularity to her, pouring out his personal feelings and almost treating her like a diary. A repository of his innermost secrets.

At first, she hadn’t known what to do about it. Then she’d contacted Doctor Koenig on Alpha and forwarded all the e-mails to her. It had seemed a terrible breach of trust at the time, but Doctor Koenig had assured her that it gave her a great insight into how Davey was progressing, because he wasn’t opening up to any of the doctors on Alpha. Now Layla was glad she’d done it. She had enough to think about at the moment and couldn’t deal with Davey’s problems any more. A brief note here and there would be all he’d receive from her, from now on. After all, he had good people to take care of him, up there on Alpha.

A wave of nausea washed over her and she put a hand to her belly, which as yet, hadn’t begun to swell. Neil- the second e-mail had been from Neil, confirming that his transfer had been approved and he would be on Loki again in just over a week. He said he wanted to marry her; wanted to be a good father to the child that was growing inside her, and also to her two other children. When she’d found out she was pregnant she’d told him straight away, knowing what his reaction would be and desperately needing him by her side. She couldn’t wait to see him again, feeling sure that they were meant to be together and that their unplanned child was a blessing, sent to cement their relationship. She loved Neil dearly. This was not the time to worry about others...